so gutted Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Im fuming again. I just dont know how I can learn from my pathetic mistakes. I have (again) invested well over a month's energy in a man who has turned into a "nothing". Im talking 2/3 hours an evening. Or 6 hours a weekend. I have a good track record, before this pathetic start to the new year, I actually met men that I had spoken to online. Now it seems I cant even do that. Please dont let this be a sign of times to come, i couldnt bear it. I have been speaking to a man online for over a month. I last spoke to him on Friday, when i mentioned that we were spending too much time online and how I wanted a real relationship. He agreed. He was also rude. At 3, when i wanted to go to bed ( as thats what people do at 3) he got the hump. Big big time. Since then nothing. I texted him on sunday and said goodnight and something else vague. He blanked the text. He was online today and I didnt ( as usual ) say hi first. He logged out after 5 mins. I cant seem to get him out of my system. Why did he waste so much time on me. Why would he show such an interest and how did I get hooked on a man that seems confident in life, yet wont meet me? Practical tips please - to shake this one off. Im really GUTTED that he logged out without speaking to me. Is this what my life has resorted to - waiting for a man online. He has my number why doesnt he call. Could it be that the message hit home, that I will not be online forever, I want to meet? Please help. THANKS SO GUTTED.
CaliGuy Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 This is exactly why I am on the "don't put all your eggs in one basket" trip. By that I mean have 3 men you are interested in and dating (but NO SEX) with. Go out to dinner, movies, hang out and spend time together. Here's why I say this is important. It will make you relax because you aren't so hung up on what happens with one particular guy. You'll be more easy-going, carefree and best of all, you will be yourself during the dating process. And if one guy doesn't work out, fill that slot with another until you find a guy you are interested in and he shows earnest interest in you. Above all, if one guy drops out or even two you won't care as much. It won't hammer your self-esteem or confidence and you know that you can fill slots b and c fairly quickly. I've started taking this routine and it's working wonders for me. I can just relax, be myself, not push for anything and let things work naturally. If she isn't interested, so what?! There are and will be others. When you focus on one person at a time you are essentially putting all your eggs in one basket and if it doesn't pan out your confidence and self-esteem will take a huge hit. Try it and you'll see that you'll date more casually and with little no pressure on you or the outcome. Don't become exclusive until you both are pursing each other with the same vigor. If one is giving more than the other, something isn't right. Cheers.
norajane Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Could it be that the message hit home, that I will not be online forever, I want to meet? Please help. THANKS SO GUTTED. Could be he's married and liked the chatting, but wouldn't want to take it further (thought some MM do, and that's a whole other problem). Whatever it is, if he's like that online, he's going to be worse in person. Shrug it off and move on. Good luck to you.
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