JackJack Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 What is a list of reason(s) you can think of for why some people should not have a child or have another child if they already have one? I'm not trying to be judgemental, and its not any of my business really, but my fiance' sister is pregnant and on top of that its twins. They already have one child that is 6 years old. I mean to each their own, its just these people are not really in the best finanical situation and their marriage has been on the rocks for years and it still is. I guess its one thing if something wasn't planned but quite another to purposly try to conceive when the situation (depending on what it is) is not all that good. What would be some reasons its not a good idea?
Ripples Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Jack, what's the purpose for you of having a list? Anyway, I can think of a few reasons in no particular order: Where the parents are drug addicts/alcoholics Where the parents live off benefits and have no desire to not do so. Where the parents are abusive to each other/their children Where the parents want a child in an attempt to save their marriage
PussInHeels Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Anytime you look at your emotional, financial, physical status and you can determine that the quality of life of a child in that situation would be unfit, that's when you probably should hold off having a child, at least until things improve. If the pregnancy is unplanned, that's more of a personal call... Some may argue that if you become pregnant and you don't really have the money or resources to care for a child, you shouldn't have it. I don't necessarily disagree with this. However, an abortion resulting in a hysterectomy is a risk (maybe not huge, but still exists), and for that reason, if I got pregnant now, I'd at least consider having the baby because I do want children even though now would be an awful time. But that's if it happened to ME. I can't fault all women who terminate because many have their reasons. But ending up in that situation is something that can be avoided to some degree, and if you can't take care of a kid, you'd better do your best to avoid pregnancy. That's what I think.
Author JackJack Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 Jack, what's the purpose for you of having a list? Just wanted to see what other people thought thats all. I guess I just hate seeing people bring or keep bringing kids into the world when their situations are not all that good, and I know alot of people will justify to continue to have more kids or just because they want one or more just seems like a poor excuse, and I know it happens everyday. You listed some good things btw, Ripples.
PussInHeels Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Jack, what's the purpose for you of having a list? Just wanted to see what other people thought thats all. I guess I just hate seeing people bring or keep bringing kids into the world when their situations are not all that good, and I know alot of people will justify to continue to have more kids or just because they want one or more just seems like a poor excuse, and I know it happens everyday. You listed some good things btw, Ripples. I hate it too, and having tons of kids knowing that you will surpass your financial and emotional limitations as a parent is selfish and abusive. If you have them not knowing, then it's just ignorant. You have to know of what you're capable. Kids drain a lot of money, emotion, and energy. People aren't prepared, and the kids suffer.
Star Gazer Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Unless you're analyzing YOUR reasons for having/not having a child, I think their reasons are pretty much none-of-your-business.
Author JackJack Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 Unless you're analyzing YOUR reasons for having/not having a child, I think their reasons are pretty much none-of-your-business. Then you need to go through every single post on this board and say the same to others that you have said to me. It was just a question and I stated in my orginal post that it probably wasn't any of my business anyway.
blind_otter Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 I posted about this recently because this girl I know who is in jail just had a baby. Or maybe she's on parole. Whatever, she doesn't even know who the father is and it made me insanely angry when I heard about it. People told me that I was just jealous that she was moving on with her life and I haven't yet, but I pretty much threw that opinion out the window because if she's not still in jail, she's on parole, has no idea who the father is, has no college education, has no job, has no means of supporting herself and doesn't own a car or a house. yeah that sounds like a great time to have a kid. People who irresponsibly reproduce make me sick to my stomach. Have you seen the movie "Idiocracy"?
PussInHeels Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Have you seen the movie "Idiocracy"? No, but judging by the title, maybe some people should...
My Fair Katie Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Have you seen the movie "Idiocracy"? That movie hurt my brain. AND now My Fair Husband likes to use the phrase "Go away! BATIN!" Shoulda never rented that. Sigh. Anyway, I think the reason for people to have or not have children is pretty much universal. 'Cause they wanna. Reasons not to: -Financial -Thinking it'll keep a man -No time -Health (this one is controversial and JUST my opinion but a person that has huntington's or a similar genetic disease probably shouldn't have kids)
PandorasBox Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Wow SG, that was really uncalled for. People who irresponsibly reproduce make me sick to my stomach. I agree B_O. Its one thing, if something wasn't planned or couldn't be helped, but another to just try to have a kid for selfish reasons. I know of people like this and were well aware of what they were doing. Some reasons I can think of not to are; Medical Can't provide for, ie; shelter, food, clothing etc. Drug or alcohol abuse Any kind of abuse such as, physical, mental, verbal etc. Having one to try to save a marriage/relationship
allina Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 I actually think that a large % of the people who have children/are having children shouldnt. Here are some reasons I don't think people should have a child: ~They are not in a stable relationship w/ the person they are having the child with. This does NOT include single people wishing to adopt/go to a sperm bank. I just think a child needs to be brought in to a healthy family dynamic ~Thay are on welfare, if you are on welfare you have no right bringing a child in to this world. ~They don't have the time to DEVOTE to raising the child ~Are involved in some sort of illegal activity ~Have substance abuse/dependancy issues ~Not financially stable/successful (Duh, child requires money) ~Also people should never have a child for the wrong reasons (fix a relationship/have someone to love them) Personally I don't want a child, because i dislike babies/children. I also think that once you decide to bring a child in to this world you have to put that child first, no matter what and honestly, I'm not willing to do that. And if I ever do want to be a mother i'm adaopting, there are already so many children here that need families.
PussInHeels Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Have you seen the movie "Idiocracy"? Wait, is does it have a part about a moron couple that keeps reproducing while a smart couple ends up having 0 kids because it's never the right time? I may have seen it....
blind_otter Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 That movie hurt my brain. AND now My Fair Husband likes to use the phrase "Go away! BATIN!" :lmao: Oh my GOD, if my SO started using that phrase I would bust some organ laughing. The organ that would be busted shall not be mentioned. I always threaten that the world will end up ruled by the lowest common denomenator but no one listens to me. I'm just the peanut gallery.
PandorasBox Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 I think too, some people try to justify it by thinking that maybe their situations are not as bad as some peoples out there. For example, Tom bashes Bettys head in just about every night and they have 3 kids.....so what if my husband calls me a stupid f*cking idiot every once in awhile infront of our other child, I think we should have another one anyway. I think thats some peoples justification.
PussInHeels Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 I think too, some people try to justify it by thinking that maybe their situations are not as bad as some peoples out there. For example, Tom bashes Bettys head in just about every night and they have 3 kids.....so what if my husband calls me a stupid f*cking idiot every once in awhile infront of our other child, I think we should have another one anyway. I think thats some peoples justification. I have an aunt who had two kids, then she showed them minimal affection and ultimately abandoned them for a guy, and my grandmother had to pick up the tab. This all happened before I was born, but what is has done to my family is evident and permanent, and even now, things on that side of the family just get more disrupted. The kids grew up resenting their mother (along with much of the family), and the eldest, not really having any parents, got involved in drugs and ended up in renal failure and dying. Now everything's screwed up: the woman who died had a son (who I'm close with), and my aunt, because of her guilt, wants nothing to with her grandson. Because of her judgment to have kids, she has ensured a decreased quality of life for 3 people (4 if you count my grandmother). These are mistakes that can't be undone.
My Fair Katie Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 :lmao: Oh my GOD, if my SO started using that phrase I would bust some organ laughing. The organ that would be busted shall not be mentioned. HAHA, well to be fair, it was funny, the first 15 times anyway.
whichwayisup Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 What weird is, if someone wants to adopt, they do background checks, ask tons of questions, analyze EVERYTHING to a T before allowing an adoption to take place - But ANYONE can create a child if they want to, unfit or not. Scary eh?
Ripples Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 -Health (this one is controversial and JUST my opinion but a person that has huntington's or a similar genetic disease probably shouldn't have kids) Hmm, what about genetic disabilities? Back on topic, maybe the problem arises with the some people's attitude that it's their right to have a child, rather than thinking of it as a privilege.[FONT="][/FONT]
Isabella82 Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Here is my take on the whole baby thing. I personally will not have any children until I am financially set and in a good marriage. Unlike my mother she had 3 kids all one year after the other, in a horrible marriage, and she didn't have an education or a job. This is what I think is stupid.... I have a BS, and hoping to be financially set before I start having children. It seems like too many people now are having kids without thinking things all the way through.... my friend just found out she was pregnant, she has been dating this guy for 6 months, I know she planned it without telling him. So they just got married. She has no degree, no job, he has an ok job... but not enough to support a baby I don't think. That is just how I feel about the whole thing.
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