Am4Real Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 After a break up and a mutual agreement on NC (break up was not nasty and both persons still professed to care and love each other) who do think is most likely to give in and break the rule, the dumper or the dumpee? I realize there is no statistical data or other information to guide this, I was looking for opinions.
notmakingsense Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Without a painstaking survey, I'd venture to guess that dumpees do more contacting. This is because dumpers take time to think things through and arrive at a conclusion before actually dumping -- then are resolved by the time the action happens. It is also natural that they feel more powerful and in control. Dumpees, on the other hand, have just suffered a major blow to their self-esteem -- sometimes unexpectedly -- and the natural human reaction is to go back to confront the source of pain as conquering that is perceived (at least subconsciously) to be the quickest route to relief. Ironically, once dumpers start to feel out of control again -- when the dumpee starts to move on and not care -- they then start up with the contact!
Author Am4Real Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 I agree w/ notmakingsense as well, what an incredible summary especially summarizing the supposed "feelings" of control with the situation. In a way you could also substitute the feeling of control for jealously or even curiosity. Anyone else with opinions? Am4Real
silentcharon Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 It happened to me twice, when two different men in the last few months. I went into NC with my ex, and as soon as he found out I started dating again, he broke NC. This pretty much answers your question. It's 50/50 on my part, he broke NC and I allowed him to.
Author Am4Real Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 It happened to me twice, when two different men in the last few months. I went into NC with my ex, and as soon as he found out I started dating again, he broke NC. This pretty much answers your question. It's 50/50 on my part, he broke NC and I allowed him to. We're sort of onto something here. Interesting.
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