dropdeadlegs Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Well, I know he's excited and so am I, but his penis is hard until he tries to penetrate and it goes soft and he forces his soft penis in. This has happened everytime and I haven't said anything for fear of making it worst. I wonder if it's like this all the time. Has anyone else experienced this problem? Has alcohol been a factor before your sexual encounter(s)? I have found that moderate amounts (not 3 beers in my experience, but definitely "tipsiness") can affect a man's erection. That and cocaine, but I'm assuming that illicit drug use is not a factor. Good judgment in not "making it worse" by saying anything yet. It's probably nothing that can't be resolved pretty simply at his age.
humblegirl Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Well I haven't posted here in a while. We are or were still dating (seeing each other every Saturday night and all day Sunday, seeing each other through the week also. He has taken to dropping by my apartment unannounced and I was okay with it. This past week I didn't hear from him so I called him last Thurs. no answer and no call back. I called him again on Friday and only got his voicemail. So Sunday morning I played tennis with my gf and was in his neighborhood and told her to wait in the car while I dropped by his house to see if he was okay. I rang the doorbell no answer. I know his bedroom is in the back of the house so I went to the window and called his name. He answered and came to the front door. When he opened it I said I have called you and didn't get an answer is everything okay? He said "I have company". His hair was all over his head and there was sleep or something in his eyes and he looked like he had been having wild sex all night. My mouth dropped and I said okay and turned and walked away. I couldn't believe it and was embarassed when I got back to my car and had to tell my friend what happened. She stayed with me all day long. I never heard from him until around 10:00 PM on Sun night he comes by and throws his arms around me and says I'm sorry, (his ex) came to town and he said she didn't leave until tonight. He said he is sick of her ruining all of his relationships and doesn't want that to happen with us. I was numb from hurt and couldn't speak. I let him spend the night but didn't have sex with him. He almost acted as if I should be okay with it and should understand. I haven't talked to him since Monday morning when we left for work. He has called but I haven't answered. I can't believe this is happening and I need to have a talk with him about what happened,don't I? I hate to say this but his behavior is somewhat narcissistic. Please advise.
fireflywy Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 that YALE LAW degree that guy has is incredible I mean That is quite the acomplishment for this guy to get into Yale Law school he would need perfect Undergrad grades and a really high near perfect Law School Admision test score. This man is part of a very elite group of people to have graduated from Yale law school and that alone is very impresive I mean hes on track for greatness fame and fortune here I dont think u people realize I mean this guy probably makes a minimum of 150-300k a year right out of school, heck he may be on track to be our next president. I mean wow yale law school. now that aside yes his impresive educational background set aside if he likes you and you like him thats all that should matter so unless you sop liking him or he stops liking you just have fun lol. So he went to Yale so what? While that is impressive, this sounds like he's being put on a pedestal and you should never do that NO matter the person. Being from Wyoming, I rail against the word "Elite". It automatically elevates people over someone else. Like they're aristocracy and you're one of the common little people. It's a bunch of B.S. There is a line which says "It's my estimation that… every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another..It ain't about you, it's about what they need" Don't ever elevate someone elses accomplishments above your own and let yourself believe that you don't stack up. You are who you are.
TheSwordfish Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Don't worry. It's only logical that you will be a tad intimdeted by someone who is 4 years older, and has a degree, at age 21. Dated a 20 yera old and she told her friend she had similar feelings. She felt that she couldn't keep up with a 25 year old with a degree and a job, while she was still a student. I am rather educated And I don't mind what a girls level of education is. It's the actual connection that matters. It will work, unless you guys have nothing to talk about, but I don't think that is the case. Whatever you do: Don't look up too much at his friends, as they are probably not brighter then you, but they just know more about a certain subject. I an understand that you didn't fele good with his friends acting liek that. But then again, maybe it's more in your head then in their intentions. Don't talk about things you don't know anything about. I have friend that studied different subjects and sometimes I don't have a clue what they are talking about. In most cases the one talking is to blame when you don't get it.
fireflywy Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Whenever you question yourself, remember this one point... "The Truest Joys in Life do not come in surpassing another's gifts, but in finding your own..."
bab Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Well I haven't posted here in a while. We are or were still dating (seeing each other every Saturday night and all day Sunday, seeing each other through the week also. He has taken to dropping by my apartment unannounced and I was okay with it. This past week I didn't hear from him so I called him last Thurs. no answer and no call back. I called him again on Friday and only got his voicemail. So Sunday morning I played tennis with my gf and was in his neighborhood and told her to wait in the car while I dropped by his house to see if he was okay. I rang the doorbell no answer. I know his bedroom is in the back of the house so I went to the window and called his name. He answered and came to the front door. When he opened it I said I have called you and didn't get an answer is everything okay? He said "I have company". His hair was all over his head and there was sleep or something in his eyes and he looked like he had been having wild sex all night. My mouth dropped and I said okay and turned and walked away. I couldn't believe it and was embarassed when I got back to my car and had to tell my friend what happened. She stayed with me all day long. I never heard from him until around 10:00 PM on Sun night he comes by and throws his arms around me and says I'm sorry, (his ex) came to town and he said she didn't leave until tonight. He said he is sick of her ruining all of his relationships and doesn't want that to happen with us. I was numb from hurt and couldn't speak. I let him spend the night but didn't have sex with him. He almost acted as if I should be okay with it and should understand. I haven't talked to him since Monday morning when we left for work. He has called but I haven't answered. I can't believe this is happening and I need to have a talk with him about what happened,don't I? I hate to say this but his behavior is somewhat narcissistic. Please advise. NOT okay!! Did he admit to having sex with her? What type of actions is he taking to get her completely out of his life. Only you know if this is something that you can get over, but you definitely need some serious discussion time.
Erik Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 OK, this is blunt! A fine piece of ass cuts across all social barriers....bar none. You OP must carefully decide what it is he sees in you. Women tend to be far too idealistic in this regard. The odds are ten to one he just wants to bone you and move on. Yes. Look at Anna Nicole, the priciest piece of ass in history. Had I half a billion dollars, I'd spend them on ass too. And move on to the next one, when said ass got tired. I'd say, if you are fat and ugly, go for it because then he probably means it. If you are hot, better be his mistress, let him pour attention and jewelery over you and move on when you've wrung him for the last earring. Hm... Hope you've got humour. But also hope you see the grim reality behind the jest.
boshemia Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 On one hand these incidents could be totally innocent, and just misunderstood but on the other... well, I would think he would at least explain something. A dog with a pedigree is still just a dog... You deserve more respect than that, and you need to make sure that he knows and understand this. but the real reason I responded is to say... Don't sell yourself short. All of your posts have been well thought out, easy to read, and free of glaring errors in spelling or grammar. I get the feeling that you are smarter than you give yourself credit for. I think you put this guy on a pedestal, and you keep thinking how lucky you are to be with him. Make sure you remind yourself that he is lucky to have a chance with you as well. You might not have the pedigree, but you still have a lot to offer a guy. Don't EVER let yourself get so wrapped up in Mr. Wonderful that you forget that you are MISS wonderful... Voice of experience here...
norajane Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Well I haven't posted here in a while. We are or were still dating (seeing each other every Saturday night and all day Sunday, seeing each other through the week also. He has taken to dropping by my apartment unannounced and I was okay with it. This past week I didn't hear from him so I called him last Thurs. no answer and no call back. I called him again on Friday and only got his voicemail. So Sunday morning I played tennis with my gf and was in his neighborhood and told her to wait in the car while I dropped by his house to see if he was okay. I rang the doorbell no answer. I know his bedroom is in the back of the house so I went to the window and called his name. He answered and came to the front door. When he opened it I said I have called you and didn't get an answer is everything okay? He said "I have company". His hair was all over his head and there was sleep or something in his eyes and he looked like he had been having wild sex all night. My mouth dropped and I said okay and turned and walked away. I couldn't believe it and was embarassed when I got back to my car and had to tell my friend what happened. She stayed with me all day long. I never heard from him until around 10:00 PM on Sun night he comes by and throws his arms around me and says I'm sorry, (his ex) came to town and he said she didn't leave until tonight. He said he is sick of her ruining all of his relationships and doesn't want that to happen with us. I was numb from hurt and couldn't speak. I let him spend the night but didn't have sex with him. He almost acted as if I should be okay with it and should understand. I haven't talked to him since Monday morning when we left for work. He has called but I haven't answered. I can't believe this is happening and I need to have a talk with him about what happened,don't I? I hate to say this but his behavior is somewhat narcissistic. Please advise. Well, that's just too damned bad for him - if he didn't want his ex ruining his relationships, he could have 1) had no contact with her at all 2) not allowed her to visit 3) not allowed her to stay in his house 4) called you, returned your calls, and seen you as usual 4) invited you over to his place over the weekend as usual so his ex can meet you 5) avoided screwing her when she's at his house!!! and 6) invited you in when you stopped by. I'm sorry, but he's completely at fault here. There is no reason he couldn't have called you, returned your calls, and/or introduced you to this person - except that he was banging her and now he's sorry because you found out. I can't tell you what to do - you know him best - but don't let him try to fool you into thinking he's the victim of his ex who "ruins" all his relationships. He's responsible for ruining your relationship. And I'm very sorry you had to find out this way.
TheSwordfish Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 I can't believe this is happening and I need to have a talk with him about what happened,don't I? I hate to say this but his behavior is somewhat narcissistic. Please advise. Ignore my precious post please. this guy is an *******. Dump him right away. He's not worth it.
DanielMadr Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Seriously dont judge you two through eyes of other people. Shut it down. If you are good enough for him...it looks like he is OK. He even took you to society. You thinking that you are lower doesnt mean you really are. There is so really dumb people with diplomas. Hope you just dont brag here, Pretty Woman
fireflywy Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 On second thought... after reading more of your posts, I'd dump the guy.
TheSwordfish Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 I would say. If someone is always with you, but ignores you when his ex is in town you should know where you stand. If he really wanted to kick his ex ot of his life, he could have ignored her insteda of ignoring you. If he had nothing to hide, or no feelings for her, he would have told you his ex was in town and he would have introduced you instead of hiding her, and himself, from you. Dump this guy right away. He's playing games that are nastiër then life. He wants to shag his ex, and when she isn't there he runs back to you. You seem smart enough to me. Kick this guy of his pedestal and tell him to get lost! (he'll use al his manipaltive tricks tot get you, but ignore him)
humblegirl Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Thank you guys for your replies. Yes he did sleep with her and he didn't have to tell me this. The way he looked said it all. You are right Norajane he could have invited me in but he knew his ex was in his bed. Also he didn't get back to me until after she had taken a flight back home. God I wish I had never slept with this guy. He has been calling my job, my cell and leaving messages but I can't talk to him right now and I have plans this evening with a friend. I know we've never told each other we love each other or officially said we were a couple, but this behavior so soon has taken me for a loop. I'm starting to think I am dealing with a "player". I really want to think it through as to what I want to say to him to make it clear I won't be disrespected. What really bothers me is his attitude that it was almost okay because it was his ex and I should understand.
norajane Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Thank you guys for your replies. Yes he did sleep with her and he didn't have to tell me this. The way he looked said it all. You are right Norajane he could have invited me in but he knew his ex was in his bed. Also he didn't get back to me until after she had taken a flight back home. God I wish I had never slept with this guy. He has been calling my job, my cell and leaving messages but I can't talk to him right now and I have plans this evening with a friend. I know we've never told each other we love each other or officially said we were a couple, but this behavior so soon has taken me for a loop. I'm starting to think I am dealing with a "player". I really want to think it through as to what I want to say to him to make it clear I won't be disrespected. What really bothers me is his attitude that it was almost okay because it was his ex and I should understand. Break up with him. Anything else will lead you right back to this place at a later time, the next time his ex comes into town and "ruins" his relationship. HE ruined it. HE f*cked her. HE can do it again.
humblegirl Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 You're right Norajane I think that is exactly what I am going to do. Especially when I think back to seeing him out with that girl that night. Yes, I am sure I am dealing with a player here and if he can do it once, he will do it again. That's always been my experience with guys no matter what their backgrounds are. I would rather be hurt now than to really crushed by him down the line.
Road Rage Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 OK, this is blunt! A fine piece of ass cuts across all social barriers....bar none. You OP must carefully decide what it is he sees in you. Women tend to be far to idealistic in this regard. The odds are ten to one he just wants to bone you and move on. Dear humblegirl, It is now time to move on. Yours Truly, Road Rage
humblegirl Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Well I'm back just to update. My BF has done everything to win me back and I'm so stupid and weak for him that we're back together. He has been acting like the model BF lately. Taking me everywhere and wanting to spend all of his free time with me. Part of me is enjoying it because I care so much for him and another part of me is telling me that this is not going to last. We haven't discussed our feelings for each other yet. He came by my house the other night after he had been out drinking with the guys. He was kind of drunk and being a bit cocky. He started telling me about these girls who were coming on to him and his friends. I just looked at him like "okay, good for you guys" but not in a mean way, but gave him a look like "why do you feel it necessary to tell me about it". I was laying in bed and he grabbed me and kissed me roughly and said "tell me you love me" and I said "NO" and pushed him off me. We still made love. The next morning he said "Are you going to turn me in for rape"? I sat up and looked at him and said "what are you talking about you didn't rape me". He didn't say anything else nor did I. What the f--k? He never mentioned anything else about the "love" thing again nor did I. I can't help myself as I have fallen in love with him but don't want to tell him that until I know how he feels. I know he obviously still has feelings for his ex and he has not said anything about our being exclusive. Why did he ask me to tell him I loved him, do you think it was his ego or the alcohol? Road Rage - You're right, he may just want to bone me and move on and time will tell on that one.
chaos40 Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 I am a 21 year old bookkeeper and just met a 26 year old Yale attorney 3 weeks ago. I have a high school diploma. I am so intimidated by him. He has been calling me, taking me out and his kisses are unbelievable. I haven't slept with him yet. I'm so scared I am going to get hurt. I have started ignoring his calls when I see him on my caller ID. He took me to a party where all his ivy league friends attended and some of the female friends were rude to me. I don't want to be put in that position again. How do I tell him how I feel without sounding like a slug? I really could fall deeply for him but I can't see the two of us making it with our extremely different educational backgrounds. I don't know what he see's in me. Can two people like us make it in the long run? My girlfriends say he is just trying to see what it's like to sleep with someone on the "other side of the tracks"? I don’t know about this one. Back in high school I had science class during 4th period and this lovely young woman that I dated for 2 years had math class during 4th period. Although we were in separate classes we did manage to make our relationship work for a long time and our eventual break-up had nothing to do with our math or science classes. Actually, come to think of it, being in separate classrooms helped our relationship as it gave us time to miss each other. Hope this helps
norajane Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Well I'm back just to update. My BF has done everything to win me back and I'm so stupid and weak for him that we're back together. He has been acting like the model BF lately. Taking me everywhere and wanting to spend all of his free time with me. Part of me is enjoying it because I care so much for him and another part of me is telling me that this is not going to last. It's hard to imagine being with someone when you aren't sure you can trust them. Knowing he slept with his ex is going to make you wonder about things... The next morning he said "Are you going to turn me in for rape"? I sat up and looked at him and said "what are you talking about you didn't rape me". He didn't say anything else nor did I. What the f--k? He never mentioned anything else about the "love" thing again nor did I. I can't help myself as I have fallen in love with him but don't want to tell him that until I know how he feels. I know he obviously still has feelings for his ex and he has not said anything about our being exclusive. Why did he ask me to tell him I loved him, do you think it was his ego or the alcohol? It was the alcohol AND his ego. But he's worried about the alcohol, because he might not remember exactly what he did the night before, which is why he was asking you about rape.
humblegirl Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Wow, Norajane I hope he doesn't have a secret problem with alcohol. He was pretty drunk and was really kind of arrogant like he was bragging about the girls who wanted him at the bar. But this "rape" thing has me concerned and wondering why he would ask that question. Has he done that before under the influence of alcohol? Was he dreaming? He doesn't seem like that type at all and had always been very gentle and patient with me. He did look embarrassed when he asked me to tell him I loved him and I said no. This guy is so confusing.
norajane Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Wow, Norajane I hope he doesn't have a secret problem with alcohol. He was pretty drunk and was really kind of arrogant like he was bragging about the girls who wanted him at the bar. But this "rape" thing has me concerned and wondering why he would ask that question. Has he done that before under the influence of alcohol? Was he dreaming? He doesn't seem like that type at all and had always been very gentle and patient with me. He did look embarrassed when he asked me to tell him I loved him and I said no. This guy is so confusing. I don't know if he has a problem with alcohol. Has he been drunk often when with you? Has he told you stories of things he and his friends do while drunk? I'm sure he did plenty of binge drinking in college and law school. As for the rest, he's the son of a cop and he's a lawyer...lawyers think about the law and if he can't remember exactly what happened, he might think date rape was a possibility.
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 It's starting to sound more and more like you're above him in the class department. Goes to prove that money doesn't mean much when it comes down to being someone worthwhile.
humblegirl Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 I don't think he has a problem with alcohol because he doesn't drink much when we go out. That could be because I don't drink. But obviously, when he's out with his friends he get's pretty smashed but maybe that's not such a strange thing. Thanks TrialbyFire, that was a nice thing to say:)
bab Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 The asking about rape would worry me. You need to have a serious conversation with him about what was going through his head when he asked that. Has he been charged with rape? This guy doesn't seem all that great.
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