Curtis929 Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Well here we go I have read alot of threads on here and it has given me some helpful info. But I might as well put my story on here to see if I can get some advice on what I should do. To start I am 27 my girlfriend is 24. We have been together 8 years now. Just recently 2 weeks ago I noticed a change in her. I knew something was up. I checked her cell phone records online and noticed a number that was called alot. So I check the number out and its some guys number. Well I confront her with it and she lies about it. So I show it to her on the bill. Well she confeses to me and says we need a break. Also another thing to add she lives with me. So a week goes by and she hasnt moved out. And we continue to talk and she tells me she doesnt want a break but wants to move out to her dads for awhile. Well she moved out Monday the 22. And I ask her if she wants to stay together as a couple she says yes. But what confuses me is she still talking to the other guy on the phone everyday. And I keep asking her if we are going to breakup and or stay together well she says stay together. I ask her if I just need to stay away and not call her to give her time and she doesnt want that. She still wants to talk and hang out. So my question on advice is what should I do break it with her because something is going on with the other guy for her to call him everyday. I am really confused and she cant give me straight answers seems like she is just holding on to me incase the other guy is a dud and wants me back. Please help
moleday2039 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Hello Curtis, before i go on with what i want to say about your situation, i want you to know that i'm 12 years younger than you. so i won't be offended if you disregard my opinion, since you most likely know better than i do. Well, i've been going through quite a bit, but it's nothing like what you're going through. I'm 15, in fact, today's my birthday. anyway, to get on, i thought that you've been asking her lots of questions, but it's good, since you know that she doesn't want to break it with you, and still wants to be with you. i don't think you should consider breaking up with her. seeing phone numbers of another guy on her records of calls might be hurtful or send you negative thoughts. but since you don't know what's going on with the guy and your girlfriend yet, you shouldn't want to break up because of it. instead, i would just stop suggesting a break-up, and ask her what's going on with her and the guy, but in a tone with no anger, or anxiety to show that you're not jealous or hate her for it. Ask her if she wants you to know about it, that you won't be mad, and that if she needs someone to talk to, you're always there. (you shouldn't be mad) i think women need to know that there's someone to talk to, but at the same time, some space so that they dont' feel like they HAVE to tell. if she truly loves you and feels that you should know about it, she'll tell you. If she refuses, then you should wait and give her space, but be ready to be with her when she needs to talk to you. so basically, don't consider breaking up. walk it through gently, ask her if she needs your help with anything. give her space. be calm, and let her know that you'll still be there. be patient. send some flowers with a simple nice card that tells her how much you appreciate her existance. u know? =) good luck man, i hope you don't have to go through anything nasty.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Well here we go I have read alot of threads on here and it has given me some helpful info. But I might as well put my story on here to see if I can get some advice on what I should do. To start I am 27 my girlfriend is 24. We have been together 8 years now. Just recently 2 weeks ago I noticed a change in her. I knew something was up. I checked her cell phone records online and noticed a number that was called alot. So I check the number out and its some guys number. Well I confront her with it and she lies about it. So I show it to her on the bill. Well she confeses to me and says we need a break. Also another thing to add she lives with me. So a week goes by and she hasnt moved out. And we continue to talk and she tells me she doesnt want a break but wants to move out to her dads for awhile. Well she moved out Monday the 22. And I ask her if she wants to stay together as a couple she says yes. But what confuses me is she still talking to the other guy on the phone everyday. And I keep asking her if we are going to breakup and or stay together well she says stay together. I ask her if I just need to stay away and not call her to give her time and she doesnt want that. She still wants to talk and hang out. So my question on advice is what should I do break it with her because something is going on with the other guy for her to call him everyday. I am really confused and she cant give me straight answers seems like she is just holding on to me incase the other guy is a dud and wants me back. Please help Dump the chick and move on, once the lies and deception start it's all over. You are too young to put up with this BS, find someone who deserves your trust. Cheers!
Unbeleivable Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Sounds like a similiar situation to my own. I have also dated my gf for 8 years. I am 22 myself. We recently broke up due to another person, although in my case, they were already cheating, in your case its unknown what has occurred yet. Its a severely difficult thing since you are together for so long, I know myself. But you need to tell her that you guys are breaking up since she's out. Go no contact for a week, including a weekend. Let her sweat out what you could be doing for that weekend in your place alone. Hopefully it will either A) give her a reality check, or B) she'll move on and you can too, knowing it was for the best. I was told that the reason my gf ended up having another relationship was due to a lack of feeling in the relationship between the two of us. Hows everything been in the past? Communication going well? You can talk to her about if her needs are being met in the relationship. Its easy, as I have experienced, to let your effort level slide especially in a longer relationship like yours or mine. Those are a couple options I suppose.
LakesideDream Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 It's very common for women to want a "back up guy" while they test the waters with a new B/F. You are now a back up guy, take it or leave it. Personally I say leave it. You two have been an "item" since she was sixteen. She is looking for something "better". Chances are good that she will find what she is looking for.
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