Guest Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 I am 20 years old and I'm dating a guy that is thirty years older than me. Our relationship is wonderful, and I can say without hesitation that we love each other very much. The issue of marriage is looming within the next five or ten years, something I can see myself doing. My issue comes in with telling my mom about this relationship. I know without a doubt that she will not approve. What complicates the situation even more is the fact that he is white and I'm black. I can already hear the lecture on how we can't possibly be compatible and blah blah blah. I've always been an obedient child, and I fear rebelling against her. What should I do?
Guest Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 I was just 17 when i started dating a man 23 years my senior. I was too frightened to tell my parents and so i hid it from them for over a year. Eventually, when i knew things were getting serious i bite the bullet and told my mom. Like you i had always been a very obedient child and i was worried about what she would think. She dissaproved at first, she told me that there was no way it would work out but i was no longer living at home at this point so there was nothing she could do to stop me seeing him. He was there with me thoughout it all trying to win her over - that made our relationship even stronger! Eventually she warmed to the idea of him, she could see how happy he made me and that is what mattered to her most of all, that i was happy! We were together for 4 years but things didn't work out for us (nothing at all to do with the age gap) and when we split i was heartbroken. I thought my mother would actually be happy that we were no longer together but she wasn't. She still asks after him to this day. So long as you are sure about your feelings for this man and you want it to go further then you need to tell your mom. She might find it difficult to accept at first but eventually she will come around to the idea because she is your mom and she wants you to be happy! It won't be easy for you and your man to gain acceptance from your family (or even his) but as long as you really stick together and show people how happy you are then those who really do care about you will be happy for you! GOod luck!
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