mav100 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Well, as of tomorrow, it has been 1 month of N/C with the ex. The last contact from her was her wacky "You drove by my car!" routine when I was at work... I've been seeing someone new for a while, but quite honestly, I'm not really happy with it. I actually tried to break it off with her due to my lack of interest, and she ended up calling me and we decided to have a more casual relationship. However, I'm worried this one isn't going to really follow along with that and end up trying to officially "date" again, and I'm NOT ready for that, which she knows. But for now, since I've explained to her that we aren't exclusive or "dating", and she's agreed to it, I suppose it doesn't hurt to have the company. As far as the ex goes, I have my good days and my bad days. Some days I really hate her for what she's done, between the cheating and the practically "homeless" position she's put me in (still living at my mothers as of now, and it looks like I may be here a while), and other days I miss her like crazy and wonder if she even thinks of me at all. However, even on those days, I have been more than strong enough not to call her. From what I hear things are status quo between her and her boyfriend. He's still practically living with her, and he even quit his band (not sure if it was because she asked him to or because he wanted to since it was an issue the last time they dated). I have no expectations for a movie-style revelation on her part that she screwed up with me and she still loves me, and the subsequent phone call from her stating such. Honestly, if I did end up getting a call like that, I feel strong enough now to tell her that hey, yes I still love you and miss you, but you left me for your ex, possibly cheated on me, and basically put me out on the street, so there isn't any going back sister. However, only time and actually getting that phone call will actually tell if I really can be that strong. Do I think she really loved me when we were together? Yes, I do. I'm not sure why she got the "Grass is always greener" syndrome while we were together and contacted her ex, and I doubt I'll ever find out why she felt that way. Doe's she still care about me now or miss me? Care yes, miss me - I doubt it. I'm sure she's still in the honeymoon phase with her boyfriend and as of now for her, everything is perfect. I still miss her every day, still find myself thinking about her all the time, but I DO feel stronger. This board and the people on it have helped me to feel this way, and I thank you for that!
moleday2039 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 hey, mav100. i'm not an old guy. i'm just an early teenager. i joined this website because i went through quite a bit and thought that i could relate to some people here. after reading your account, i just wanted to say that being "strong" doesn't necessarily mean that you turn her down when she realized that she was wrong and gave you that movie-like phone call. if i had truly loved the girl, i would still let her come back to me no matter how much she hurt me and tore me apart. why would i do such a thing when she left me to be a mess and cheated on me? because that's what you meant when you said to her, "i love you." those three words are not to be said casually, because you don't know what you're in for once you've said these words.
Author mav100 Posted January 27, 2007 Author Posted January 27, 2007 Actually, I had a minor setback yesterday morning, but all in all I'm still feeling pretty good... I stayed at the new girls house on Thursday night, and left from her place to head to work on Friday morning... The new girl lives in the same town as the old one, just on opposite ends. Sure enough, on the drive to work, I drove by the ex going the other way. I doubt she noticed me due to the volume of traffic, but I did see her. It shook me up for a few hours, but still, I was strong enough not to contact her. It was the first time since I moved my stuff out that I have been anywhere near where she was. Usually we would never be in the same locations. It just felt odd to see her, even just driving her car. I woke up this morning pretty much feeling as I did after seeing her yesterday. I miss her an awful lot, but I still realize that only SHE can turn this around. I did all I could. I'm still continuing my walk away from her, there is no sense in bothering to chase. It's just not worth it if she doesn't see my worth ON HER OWN.
moleday2039 Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 One month, huh? that's tough. this is my 8th. i can't say that things necessarily get "better", but they do tone down a bit. i don't see her because we're not in the same state anymore, but her friends were mine, so my friends still mention her and i get that queasy feeling. anyhow, i'm glad that you were brave enough to keep out of contact. I think contact is what makes it hard. although you may never forget her until you die, i hope that you'll be able to move on safely, and become a better person, learning from your mistakes. good luck, be strong now!
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