princesspeaches Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 My ex and I have had this weird relationship, it's very complicated but we've shared many things and experienced all our firsts and what not together. We definitely had to overcome alot of things in our relationship, mainly my father and his mother but our relationship was kind of a secret to only our families (race issues). We have almost a decade invested in eachother but we haven't always been together. He proposed a little over four years ago around my prom as a joke at first but then got serious about it. I said yes, and he spent two months picking out a ring for me, and he did great it fit me perfectly. Then he cheated and it became this huge thing - I had just found out I was pregnant - After it was all said and done we took a break. We remained pretty close but I had a very hard time being around him after I lost the baby because of something he did. (car accident, that could have been avoided.) In the next two years he'd ask me four more times to marry him but he'd always make me regret it. Two years ago I'd started dating other people, and he realized that I was seriously trying to move on so he tried harder to be that man. I'll admit he grew up a little, but I still couldn't trust him in the way that I needed too. Then last year I found myself do something I've never done before. I wore his engagement ring. At first it started out just when I was really missing him or lonely, and then it was when I was going out somewhere and I didn't want to be hit on. I've never ever done this when I'm in a relationship. I finally told him four months ago the calls, emails, ims and visits had to stop. But he called me yesterday and it brought up old feelings. When we got off the phone I felt myself missing him, and I put it on again. It made me smile to remember the good things and times and it made me think of how things might have been. Question: Is it really weird that I did that (do this) once in a while? Has anyone else ever done this? He didn't want to take the ring back he said it was for me and selling it so another woman could wear it was a thought he couldn't handle. I still love him but it's different after all this time you know? I'm not looking to get back with him either. I put it on last night and I haven't taken it off yet I know how pathetic that must sound. It just brings up good feelings....sorry this is longish.
daisydo Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 No I don't think it is pathetic at all. You sound like you are sad that things didn't work out. Maybe part of you would want to be with him someday but you have reservations and know that things are not right. Even though you have been involved with him for ten years, I would not let the memories of this relationship insulate you. Exposing yourself to the harsh realities of the world is difficult and maybe you always felt comfort in this past relationship. Even though in your heart you knew that your needs were not being met and there was a lot of hurt, the relationship is something familiar to you. I would recommend putting the ring in a box and keeping it in a safe place. Do not throw it away or pawn it but do keep it out of sight for a while. This situation is reminding me of my old 'security blanket' I had when I was a child. But I am not calling you childish - it is perfectly understandable to feel this way after a breakup. Good luck to you.
Author princesspeaches Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 Thank you for making me feel a little better about that. I did take it off today, this morning actually. I think deep down you're right about wanting things to work out, but I know things never will he's not a commitment man he just can do it. But thank you for your reponse, I guess it is like my security blanket I hadn't thought of it like that.
luvtoto Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 I think deep down you're right about wanting things to work out, but I know things never will he's not a commitment man he just can do it. Geez, that sounds familiar! I know exactly how you feel. Just a few weeks ago, I put on a necklace that my ex gave to me. We broke up four years ago, and I felt rather pathetic, I might add. I was stuck in a rut. A grief rut. Even though, I knew he was commitment phobic and we had no future together, I couldn't move past what we had. Anyways, I'm over it. But, if you want to know anymore about my situation...it's posted all over LS! You are not alone and you are not weird! Just a very caring and sentimental person.
pricillia Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 There are so many new princesses on the shack where are all the princes?
Author princesspeaches Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 Geez, that sounds familiar! I know exactly how you feel. Just a few weeks ago, I put on a necklace that my ex gave to me. We broke up four years ago, and I felt rather pathetic, I might add. I was stuck in a rut. A grief rut. Even though, I knew he was commitment phobic and we had no future together, I couldn't move past what we had. Anyways, I'm over it. But, if you want to know anymore about my situation...it's posted all over LS! You are not alone and you are not weird! Just a very caring and sentimental person. We'll I'm glad that I'm not alone. I'm sorry about your situation. It's tough loving a commitment phob. Thank you for your kind words.
Author princesspeaches Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 There are so many new princesses on the shack where are all the princes? I have no idea where they are, but I don't see the harm in placing a little hope in a fairytale and treating myself as a princess in the time being?
pricillia Posted January 24, 2007 Posted January 24, 2007 I have no idea where they are, but I don't see the harm in placing a little hope in a fairytale and treating myself as a princess in the time being? Ok I just was wondering you know... If you feel like a princess then that is fine with me! Are you still seeing him?
Author princesspeaches Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 Ok I just was wondering you know... If you feel like a princess then that is fine with me! Are you still seeing him? No. We haven't seen eachother since Thanksgiving, and that wasn't by choice he showed up. Which I don't mind seeing him, we get along great and we're close but he always wants thing to be like they were. Whenever we do hang out he acts like we are a couple and parades around telling people we are together. I see him, but I'm not seeing him and that's not because he isn't trying, cause he is.
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