precious99 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Hi!! I have an unusual situation that I could use some insight on. Sorry if the story is long... I have been dating this guy for just over a year and he is great. However, on occasssion he "changes" his personality and mood quickly and drastically. This usually happens around special occassions. (like his birthday which is this Sunday) Last year on the day before his birthday everything was fine then the next day everything changed - without warning, in fact I didn't even see him duringthat period of time. He became withdrawn, moody and despondant. Eventually - probably because I wouldn't leave him alone - he broke up wih me. This lasted two weeks - during which time he barely left his house. Then out of the blue he texted me and wanted to see me. I met him for coffee and he apologized saying that he sometimes has "episodes" likethis but that they go away and then he is fine. Well, during the past year he hasn't experienced any more of these "episodes" but there have been moments where he gets depressed over little things, he quit his job (he said to go back to school but he has yet to do that) and sometimes he has angry tantrums. (never violent angry - more anger out of frusteration at himself or at a situation) So fast forward to this week - like I said his birthday is coming up - he has been getting increasingly irritated. For instance today we were out of town and as we were getting ready to leave we realized that neither of us had the exact directions to get home - well this just totally screwed him up. He became frusterated, snapping and being angry with me. Even after we got home he secluded himself in the bedroom to watch tv. When I finally did see him (he drives me to work at night) he didn't say a word to me the whole drive there (about 30 min) but as we pulled into the parkinglot he was just fine and couldn't understand why I was upset. I really don't get it. I mean I can deal with the once in a while "moments" that he has but this is getting to be too much. Am I doing something wrong? I mean I know I'm not perfect and I have definately done my share of stupid things in our relationship but I feel like I am going out of my mind. I love him so much and I am desperate to help him!!
daisydo Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I'm not sure there is a whole lot you can do other than be accepting and open with him. Build up some trust so he can confide in you. If this is not possible I would recommend some therapy for him - but that is a decision only he can make. There really isn't a lot you can do other than be there for him and be accepting of his conflicting emotions.
Mythical Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 He could have a very mild case of Bi-polar? With this condition it intensifies around holidays and special occasions
Author precious99 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 Just thought I'd update a little... I gathered up my courage and I asked his mom about it earlier tonight when she called to finalize plans about his birthday party this weekend. I was really worried that she wouldn't be open to discussing it with me but I was wrong. She was extremely understanding and very supportive. She told me never to blame myself and that if anything I have been very good for him. She told me that he had been this way his whole life - not to the same extent or degree - but his anxiety, shyness, nervousness and difficulty handling stresses has always been a problem for him. She said that his "episode" last year was the worst one he has had and that he usually just snaps out of it all of a sudden and apologizes for being such a pain to everyone. She also said that there are members of their family that suffer from the same issues. She has tried to get him to talk to someone but he has never been open to it. They are having lunch together tomorrow (or I guess today now) and she plans to bring it up with him. I'm really worried about him. He seemed a little better yesterday when I got home from work but it feels like such a roller coaster ride. I want to be supportive but I'm afraid and that makes me feel like I am a terrible girlfriend.
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