Limpan Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 My ex broke up with me about ago 6 weeks ago, and I have been veery sad and depressed ever since. I knew I needed to leave him alone, but tried to make contact with him all the time in texts and phone calls. In the beginning it actually worked quite well. He replied to my texts and answered my phone calls most of the times. We had dinners, spent several nights together, and both had a great time. I never really talked about us so I think he felt really good about hanging out with me. Once I asked him in a text whether he thought we were gonna end up together again, he replied "we will have to see." I left for the holidays and wasn't gonna se him for two weeks. He wrote me on yspace every day, and texted me several times telling me that he wanted to meet up and have dinner when we both got back in town. On New Years eve I hadn't heard from him in 3 days and I started to worry. We started texting a little and I asked if he had met someone else. He did not like that question, and at first he said "It doesn't matter", but later when I begged him to answer he said "no". I asked him again if he thought we would ever find the way back to each other and he said "I don't know that we will." When he got back in town a week later I screwed up really bad. Read my earlier post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109285/ We don't really talk anymore since he doesn't want to, but I called him Friday night at 1am even if I knew I shouldn't. He actually picked up the phone and we had a nice conversation for about 25 minutes. He was ot of town so maye that's why he actually picked up I don't know, but he said he still cares about me, and that I mean a lot to him, but that we won't ever be together again. I felt good about having talked to him finally, and it felt like I could finally leave him alone in peace. He said he will call me when he feels ready, and I believe him. Today I broke the NC after 3 days and sent him a message saying "I miss you". I know he knows, but I just had to. He hasn't replied. Can I ever get him back after everything that has happened. He says we won't be together again, and I know he needs time and space to really miss me. I haven't given him that so far. Is it possible to still win his heart back? Has anyone ever gotten a guy back even if they said these things to you? If anyone in here has had a similar experience, please tell me. I'm so sad that I screwed up so badly and that I couldn't stop myself although I knew what the results were gonna be. I almost had him back for a second and than I ruined it badly. Can I win his trust back? I miss him so much and feel like a big part of me fell of. He was the man of my dreams and I really saw a future together. Now only time will tell.
chrissymcal Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 my ex told me the same things...except the next day he would msg me....so i dunno....we broke up, he said it was over between us for good and that we should stop talking, but then we got back together a couple weeks later...now hes broken up with me again after amonth and a half :/...i hate these damn games
notmakingsense Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 He broke up with you before you acted psycho, so while you might be able to regain his trust that you won't go psycho again, there are still all the reasons he broke up with you in the first place. What were those reasons again? if he started talking to you again, would those reasons re-surface? The most important thing you can do to regain his trust now is to NOT CONTACT HIM again. All contact should come from him first. Period. Personally, I would use this opportunity to think about the type of man that would not make you feel insecure, and when you are ready to date again, limit your field to that type of man. In the mean-time, just learn to be happy without any man in your life. Focus on friends, hobbies, work/school, working out and doing things to boost your self-esteem. This will make you feel good about yourself and will also boost your attractiveness to all kinds of great guys. It seems like you feel like this relationship failure was because you screwed up - but that isn't necessarily true -- it might be more about the type of guy you are choosing to get attracted to. Just think about that.
paris38 Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 He has broken up with you, you have made it clear you wanted him back and groveled...you have given him sex with no strings attached (so you're not giving him any incentive to want to get back together for real and also he's just seeing you as a sexual object to satisfy his physical needs and not as a girlfriend), you have stalked him until it's gotten to the point where he has had to threaten police involvement...please get some counseling and let the idea of getting back together with this guy go. I am just being honest. I got counseling to help me with my ex-issues and it really helped! Also, don't blame yourself. He just fell out of love with you, that is not your fault. Sometimes people just fall out of love....you should have worked on letting go immediately after he broke off with you and in fact had the attitude "His loss, who's next?" Easier said than done, but he broke up with you for a reason - you may see him as the man of your dreams but unfortunately he doesn't see you that way and you just have to get over him. NC NC NC FOREVER
miss snoopy Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Notmakingsense and Paris38 are absolutely spot on. I did similar stuff with my ex when we broke up the first time and no, we're never getting back together. What I did this evening was go over the relationship with a fine tooth comb and I now realise why things happen the way they did and this has really helped my healing - I no longer feeel angry, sad or guilty. So let go of him and try and ensure you don't make the same mistakes in your next relationship.
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