Crossroads in life...I want to be a stay-at-home mom and wife...is there anything

[paris38]

wrong with that? I just started dating someone and he offhandedly mentioned he makes $70,000 a year. We are in our late 30s, never married, and both want a child or two.....SO.....I am not happy in my career...I realize I haven't been truly happy for yers. Is there anything wrong with dating with the purpose of being a stay at home mom? My sister's sister in law does this and has 3 beautiful young daughters, keeps house and spends time with the youngest one while the others are at school.......is there anything wrong with not working and deciding THAT is what would make me happy in life? I could always take a parttime job, too......I have a masters degree but I'm not happy in the workforce. I am starting to fall for this guy and think "why not? wouldn't he want a wife to stay home and love his child while he is at work? Plus, he could work for another company and make MORE income if he had to, he told me he is tops in his field, but loves his job where it is, but has potential t o make LOTS more money, even double. Please help.

[polywog]

Have you discussed what you want with him? Stay at home mom Is a Job! I don't have kids, and probably never will at this point in my life, but I think it sounds totally reasonable if that's what you both agree on. My sister has a better education than her husband, but she wanted to stay at home and raise their daughters and she has no shame about it. The only thing for her is that she misses her career a bit, but she has kept up enough to get back into it when the girls are grown up. Just my opinion, but I see Nothing Wrong with what you want. And I am a not very traditional woman.

[norajane]

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom. That's a decision that many couples make. If that's what you both want and can afford it, why not? No one can tell you that's not a good goal for yourself.

 

However, there is something very wrong in dating to find a guy who can save you from your career, who can help you escape. And that's the part that really stands out in your post - you're already planning how he needs to leave his job and make tons more money...

 

If you don't like your career, try a different one. But don't hope for a man to save you from it by making you a wife and mommy.

[whichwayisup]

But most of all, be sure that you love this guy and want to BE married to him. Please don't hook up with him because you want children, and want to be a stay at home mom. NOT saying that is what you're doing, just saying BE sure you are inlove with him and not his "potiental". Hope that makes sense and doesn't come off offensive to you.

[Boond0ckSaint]

wrong with that? I just started dating someone and he offhandedly mentioned he makes $70,000 a year. We are in our late 30s, never married, and both want a child or two.....SO.....I am not happy in my career...I realize I haven't been truly happy for yers. Is there anything wrong with dating with the purpose of being a stay at home mom? My sister's sister in law does this and has 3 beautiful young daughters, keeps house and spends time with the youngest one while the others are at school.......is there anything wrong with not working and deciding THAT is what would make me happy in life? I could always take a parttime job, too......I have a masters degree but I'm not happy in the workforce. I am starting to fall for this guy and think "why not? wouldn't he want a wife to stay home and love his child while he is at work? Plus, he could work for another company and make MORE income if he had to, he told me he is tops in his field, but loves his job where it is, but has potential t o make LOTS more money, even double. Please help.

 

No, there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. It is the ideal situation for the children, rather than having to be stuck in some daycare somewhere. I actually wrote a prayer for my mother for Mother's Day a few years back because I was so thankful that she had chosen that road and was always there to love and discipline us. Of course dad had alot to do with it too....but there's just something in the way God created women that they have an edge over men in this arena. Women are certainly more emotional beings than men are, but the strength that women have been given to deal with all that comes with raising a child is something that's just in the way they were created that's just unearthly and unexplainable. Anywho....I hope I made some sense.

[Art_Critic]

he offhandedly mentioned he makes $70,000 a year.

 

 

70k isn't that much Paris.. a married couple with 2 kids each making 40k make 80k total and kids suck up your cash like nothing else

and have you seen his paycheck and do you know how much credit debt he has ???

He might be spending most of it on going out with you and paying off credit card debt as well as school loans and god knows what else..

A mortgage payment for a house and a wife and kids with debt could mean the poor house at 70k

 

You need to not put the cart before the horse..

 

Nothing wrong with wanting to be a stay at home Mom but those are things that are normally discussed when 2 people are about to take their relationship to the next level of marriage

Feel him out some.. Tell him you have tons of debt and see what happens to the expression on his face ..

[a4a]

Nothing wrong with being a stahm until you stop and think about if you have a back up plan or not.

 

Example: friends of ours are getting divorced, she is a stahm now for about 8 years out of their 13 yr M. She now has to go back to work. Where and how I have no idea. She used to work at a bank, but things change in the industry and she has certainly not kept up or continued her education in any manner.

 

What will you do if your spouse divorces you or dies? Insurance money will only go so far.

 

70K is not really a whole lot of money to invest for the future if you are accustomed to a certain lifestyle of "spending it now"

 

Why not look into changing your career to something you enjoy, something that brings some happiness to your life and some income potential for the future? Just in case..............

[allina]

How does HE feel about staying at home moms and how does he feel about a fyuture with you? Are there other strengths in the relationship besides this possibility of being a stay at home mom?

 

I agree with Art about the money, raising 2 kids on only 70K would be hard. Me and my bf make more than that for the two of us, no children, and we sometimes don't have enough money for everything we want.

 

As for being a stay at home mom, i think it's a great option for women who want children.