panzer6 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Hey guys, next month is going to be hard for me. My birthday is on the 5th and I also have to contend with the dreaded V-DAY!! I spoke with my ex about a month ago, it was pretty icy to say the least. I will not go out of my way to contact her whatsoever but I can't really say what she will do. I called her on her birthday last November but got the date wrong and called 2 days too late. She wasn't impressed. What should I do if she were to call me? I figure I will just ignore it.
sb129 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Ignore it. thats what NC is all about.. And on V day go out with your single buddies and laugh at all the couples paying premium rates for dinners a deux, and buying eachother red roses that cost twice as much as they do the rest of the year .. Not being bah humbug, but lets inject some humour into this...
Author panzer6 Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 I know what NC is all about and if she does call or text I will do my best to ignore it. I've been feeling pretty lousy lately and I have been really missing her alot. I know it's wrong but it's hard being alone over the holidays and now my B-day is coming as well as V-day. It's kind of overwhelming dealing with all this. I'll do the best I can given the circumstances. I just wish I didn't miss her so much.
Author panzer6 Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 Yeah, talk about a nasty customer. Anyway I just feel a bit down these days, missing my ex over the holidays. I'm pretty sure she hates me now so odds are she wont call but just in case she does I will just ignore it. She has to learn that her actions have consequences. I have been too understanding with her and her irrational behaviour. Don't know if she is seeing someone else, don't care. She will just do the same things to the new guy as she did to me, she has done it to every guy she has been with in the past. She seems to suffer from some form of Borderline Personality Disorder, I have been reading alot about it and she definitely has the behaviour patterns that they talk about. I know it's easy to say she is sick or mentally deranged but she has almost all the symptoms. It was weird reading about how these people deal with relationships in relation to her actions and it made me feel strange. I hope she gets some kind of help someday because I just want her to be happy, but she is never happy with anything. It makes me sad and I sometimes wonder if what she would be like if she didn't have this problem. She could be the most loving person I have ever known and then turn into the most hateful and vindictive person I have ever known. It really is bizarre.
notmakingsense Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 If you made it through the holidays, your B-Day and V-Day should be totally do-able without you breaking down and contacting her. If she wishes you a happy birthday, don't take the call -- but wait a few days and send her a note that says thanks -- and nothing else! Holding grudges for months is a sign that you are weak and not moving on. At least fake it with a civil gesture, then back to NC. That said, it would be best if you weren't sitting at home and fighting yourself to not pick up the call -- better to be out with friends or a date. No matter what -- you should come across as busy/occupied on both occasions -- so dont pick up or respond the same night!!!
Author panzer6 Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 OK, wait a minute, I'm not the one holding a grudge, she is. I don't know what she wants from me but she never seems to go away. I think she has very low self-esteem and maybe she feels that she needs to stay in some kind of contact with me. I don't call or text her at all anymore. I just want out of this nightmare once and for all. It's like I said, I don't hate her I actually feel sorry for her. She has missed out on alot of things in her life because of the way she is. I know people that knew her years ago and she has always been like this. They all say that she will just end up alone and I feel that they are right. I still care very much about her but there is only so much I can say or do, she wont listen to anybody cuz she is very stubborn. Anyway if she were to call I will just wait a few days and send her a thankyou message but I have to be honest with you she probably wont call or text me at all. That is just fine by me, I hope this thing is over cuz I don't have any strength left in me. I just feel emotionally drained.
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