sosad26 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Since my original post, I have had time to reflect on the situation at hand. I took a look at my pattern of relationships, and realized that the pattern has been a rather unhealthy one. I have realized that with me, it is all about the chase. I go after what I know deep down I can't have, and shouldn't have for the challenge, and then when I finally get what I've been working so hard to obtain (no matter the amount of abuse suffered by me), I find that I no longer want "it", and I scream NEXT!! If it never quite reaches that point, silly as it may sounds, I feel as though I have been unsuccessful making all my time and energy a waste. I have had "someone" to take up my thoughts and consume my energy for the past 4 years. I put my all into one gentleman for 3 years, and moved on without a break in between to put all of my life into the next. It is now that I realize that maybe I have done these things to not fully focus on me, and what it is that I want and need. People find it easier to focus on others and scary to focus on what it is that they need and want. Don't be scared, you are so worth it. I have not felt this free in so long and I can't believe I have been avoiding myself for this long. When things don't work out in a relationship we have a tendency to pick ourselves apart to try an understand the "why". It has taken a while for me to get here, to the place where the "why" no longer matters. Why can't it be as simple as it didn't work because that person was not the one for you, but the person that is for you is coming, and in order for you to fully accept them, you have to be right with you, and love you. Then the other person can see the light that is you, and be drawn to you for all the right reasons. I am speaking to all, with me included. I hope this helps anyone who is going through "it" right now, and doubting themselves because of events out of their control. My father said something profound the other day. He told me that when someone goes after someone else with ill intentions (picking on someone that they may consider to be weaker), they get everything back 100 fold. God don't like ugly, and he aint too fond of pretty. He told me that as we speak, the ground was crumbling under the individual who had caused me so much pain, that this individual didn't even know it, but he was about to fall and that I would definitely hear about it. Strange, but I took great comfort in his words because I know them to be true. It is the way of the universe, Karma if you will or God. Thank you.
al8765 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 I am starting to see the light as well. I've just been doing things for myself which is different. My ex and I talked this afternoon and we both realize that we make better friends than being a couple. My only worries I have right now with my ex is him starting to date already... I just don't like the thought of that. But I like being happy again with him.
Double D Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Yeah, I also have started seeing the light. This year I have made a conscious effect to improve myself and do things that make me happy and make myself a better person. I am liking it. I miss my ex terribly and gutted it didnt work out. Thing is I kinda understand and accept it didnt, just that we had some ggod times and trying to get over that is tough but I am enjoying working on me. Its fun! Thanks for the post sosad26. Be Well!
Author sosad26 Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 I am glad you took the time to read my post. I am also glad that you can remain friends with your ex. My "relationship started out unhealthy, and ended the same way. I am not psychic, but I predict that I will not speak with my ex again, and that is because I decided that no matter what happens, tomorrow, a month from now, 10 years, my life is much better with out him.... I am a much better person without him. I wish him the best, but I don't care to know. As far as him moving on with someone else, you can bask in the knowledge that he will never, ever find another you.... no matter how hard he trys. There was something that brought you all toghether, and there was something else needed to make it work and although we want that person to be our "everything", they are not but know there is someone who has everything we want and deserve, and more waiting on us to know and act like we are worth it, never settling for less. Like attracts like...Positive attracts positive
Author sosad26 Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 if you get a chance or haven't already, you should check out the movie called "Bad Timing", On an exaggerated angle, but very similar my last relationship could be compared to this movie. Sad but true.
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