vocalstudent86 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 My now ex- bf and I were together for about 8 months. Everything seemed like it was going perfect. He treated me so well, always payed, always on time, always there when i needed him, and my friends and family absolutley loved him. However, around September an old aquantince of his moved back into town because she had broken up with her boyfriend of 4 years and needed to get away. I immediatley got bad vibes from her. I usually can get along really easily with most people but she'd always make remarks about me , and she was the kind of person who was really into getting drunk all the time and talking about sex every 5 seconds, which didn't float well with me when I had just met her. Other friends of mine thought she had something against me based on the way she was acting. I confronted my boyfriend about it and at the time didn't think anything could be going on. I was just more annoyed that she was always wanting to hang around and rude to me. I didn't ask him to stop being friends with her, I just asked him to bring other people if he brought her along to hang out with us and to talk to her about her attitude. He assured me he'd talk to her and that he didn't think she had anything against me, that her and I were just different kinds of people. I still felt like something was off though, so I asked if he'd ever date her. He said she wasn't his type and that he wasn't into skinny blondes and that her face "did nothing for him". He also commented that she could be a bitch at times. Even though she made me uneasy, i had no reason not to trust him so I dropped the subject. Fast forward to November. All of a sudden he didn't return my phone calls as quickly and was suddenly busy more often. We are both college students finishing up our degrees so I tried to be patient and understanding. Then the next day he came over and said he "didnt know if it would work out because of our busy schedules and the driving" (We lived only 20 minutes from each other). Mind you, we were only seeing each other 1 or 2 times a week total. The icing on the cake was when I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital and he didnt pick up the call or even call back within a normal amount of time or try to come see me. Everyone in my life was shocked. He told me he "didnt want it to end" and I tried to think of all the ways we could work it out but he didn't seem to be interested in any of them. I again confronted him and asked "is this because of someone else" and he said "no never!" and at the time i believed him because he was seeming sincere and crying. He knew honesty was important to me so i kept asking "are you just not "feeling it" any more?" and he said "NO NO Its not that! I still love you!". Then he left the conversation to go finish up an assignment for class and called me that night and said he wanted to maybe take a break. I had had enough of it an said we should just break up and if he wanted to get back together later on I'd make no promises. I didn't hear from him after that...but 2 days later her myspace profile changed to "in a relationship" and she starts posting pics of her in his car with stuffed animals and writing about how shes "so in love" . They must have been idiots to think that I wouldnt realize thats why he broke up with me, and the fact that she told our mutual friend that and I found out is hillarious. I believe fully in NC so i hadn't called him or emailed him or any of that since we'd broken up. A couple weeks ago I got tired of reading her **** and them thinking they were so slick and hiding it, and I was tired of him not giving me $$ he owed me as well as my stuff back, so I sent him a polite message asking for my stuff and mentioning he didnt need to hide that he was in a relationship, and that I knew. He seemed shocked that I found out...I guess they were trying to wait awhile so it wouldnt seem like he broke up with me for her. Apparently he and his new lady were "trying to protect me".. I guess thats his version of lying about why we broke up and how to justify it. He was trying to justify it but all I wanted was my stuff back and him out of my life. Finally yesterday I got my stuff back and my money. I can't believe I spent 8 months of my life with this person...I know it might seem like a short time, but what a waste. Can you believe this guy??
RocketMan2 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Im very sorry for you (hugs) I'd stick to the nc, you sound like you've been doing well. Hate is a good way to get over missing someone.
norajane Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Can you believe this guy?? Unfortunately, I can. There's a lot like him out there. Stay strong and confident. Good luck to you.
Kamille Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Nope I can't believe this guy. Or that girl. I'm so sorry. I've been left for another girl and it ssssuuuuucccckkkkkkssssss. I just came to tell myself that different people need different things at different times. In fact I focused on all the little things he did that were red flags that things weren't working well as a way to get over him. And now it is clear to me that he did me a favor by leaving because we obviously did not share the same ideas about love and relationships. And like people here told me then, at least now you know. Too bad that it took him 8 months to reveal his true colors. (I was lucky, my whole drama happened within 3 weeks).
Author vocalstudent86 Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 Thanks to everyone who responded :-)
daphne Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 vocal, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. And to lose the guy to a skeezer isn't a great feeling. Ultimately, he was only "seemingly" a good guy. They sound well suited. Karma does have a way of equalizing things but you may never see it. Just know that when people behave this way (selfishly), it's a function of who they are and they will continue to make poor decisions and reap what they sow. Know that to be true.
Davis Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Hey Vocal! Sorry! I just posted a thread "why did she burn me"? My ex did something similar. Your ex, like mine is a total liar and a loser. My ex also completely lied to me, even when I questioned her. It sucks and it hurts. It may not be much consolation, but do you really want a liar and a cheater in your life? Believe me, he would do it again!! I took my ex back after she burned me the first time because she was at a very low point in her life, I thought she made a mistake and she was sorry. Was I wrong! She's just a player! She's 34 acting like a 22 year old! Some people are just f**cked up. Today my friend told me that we'll never understand why people like Charlie Manson did what he did either. They're all just messed up in the head. That leaves normal people like us wondering why they would do that to us when we would never do that to them or anyone else. Hang in there and move on! There are lots of trustworthy guys out there!!
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