francis Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 I was recently given a project at work, to work alongside a male colleague. He has been working with the company for a while, whereas I am quite new there. Before even meeting him, my project leader was keen to inform me that this colleague was good looking, and single, knudge knudge. There was a strange connection when we first met, and I couldnt stop thinking about him. We exchanged contact details over the Christmas period, and kept in contact, mutually initiated. It was work related, but also, some slight flirting. Things have developed since then, he seemed to pop up in my department very regularly, but never mentioned anything about meeting up outside of work til last week. He invited me to his home, and we spent the evening together and kissed. We get on very well, and share the same sense of humour. I am scared of how to proceed now! He is away on holiday with his family now, but before he left he asked me to meet up with him again the day he gets back. We also had a very long MSN conversation last night, when he logged in from his hotel lobby! On the face of it, he seems keen, but I have slight niggly feelings about this; 1. We work together 2. I have an impression of him that he is not quite into commitment, whereas I have made it clear that I am only interested in proper relationships, in general, not with him personally just yet! He hasn't had a long term relationship for 5 years. I really don't want to become the butt of office gossip, I want to be taken seriously there. The entire office knew about his last relationship, it was a bit of a running joke there... I hate this stage of meeting someone, with so many hopes and fears and the possibility of getting very dissapointed...
norajane Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Are you always going to be working together? If so, it's best to back off and take things a lot more slowly - you've heard rumors about him, so maybe you need to get to know him a LOT better before you become the subject of some new rumors. Spending an entire weekend together, IMO, is too much too soon. Slow this way down and don't get involved until you know what kind of man he is, and what he wants out of a relationship generally, as well as what he wants out of a relationship with you. Talk to him about this stuff more before giving away your heart.
revolutionphilosophy Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 You know... a wise person once said Don't dip your pen into the company ink... and it was said for a reason. If you split up... then you have to continue to see each other... and possibly work together and communicate (so much for NC!). Your relationship will also be under more than a bit of scrutiny... and there will definitely have to be ground rules for behavior at work. Plus he certainly works with quite a few of his past 'conquests'... so having no contact with them is definitely out of the question. Can you handle this? That said -- all work relationships aren't bad. A guy and girl here met at work... and have been together for nearly two years. They have both improved one another's lives dramatically and I think they're possibly two of the most well-matched people I know. Of course... there were a few hurdles in the work-place to begin with. Myself... I wouldn't date someone I work with. I simply couldn't handle seeing them that freaking often. I need my space/alone time... and I like to miss my girlfriend. Of course... I have no problem with hooking up with co-workers when I'm single.
Author francis Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 He probably will move on from the company over the next few months...it did enter my head that he is perhaps looking for something to make his work life more interesting, but maybe that's my cyncism working overtime! I think you are right norajane, I really need to take my time with this, and really get to know him, because it seems I have more to lose... We didnt spend the weekend together though, I only went to see him at his place for a few hours one evening last week, we went out for a drink, and I left pretty early...he gave me the impression that he wanted me to stay longer, but I thought it best to leave early... That is exactly what I am afraid of RP...things are great when its all new and exciting, but if he ever broke up with me, it would be a nightmare...we have only been given one project to work on, and the bulk of the work is over now, and his office is on a different floor...I can avoid him if I want to if the worst comes to the worst i suppose... He sent me one sms today...he gets back on the weekend...lets see what happens...its funny, I do feel as if he is making more effort than me, which is sweet, and fine with me right now! but not knowing a guy's intentions always makes me wary!
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