lilmems81 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 this is an update to my previous post on this girl i met about the friends zone. well i decided to make my move on her. to sum it up we met about 2 months ago and this was like our 7th date. we both have really good conversations and always have fun. i really started to like her so after getting to know each other i decided to try to move out of the friends zone. i bought her lunch to her work and one day she was sick and stayed home so i brought her some soup, she was really suprised. she told me a couple of times that she was lucky to meet a guy like me, she had a very good friend. that kinda came as negative to me so i decided to make my move to find out where i stand with her. we went to the movies last nite. i grabbed her hand and she was find with it coming in and out of the movie theater. after that i had a lil suprised for her and took her to the beach for a walk. we walked and held hands i felt that things were going good so i decided to let her know how i felt for her. then i asked her wut she thought and basically told me that im overall a nice guy this and that, she felt that we needed to get to know each other a lot more even tho i felt we knew each other well, she even told me. she saw this as friends for now and maybe later on that something could happen. basically wants to get to know each other better cuz there were still some things there. so i was like ok i understood. we went back to my car and it was like nothin, i felt a lil uncomfortable but we kept talking about that issue and other things she felt fine. i really wanted to go home but i was waiting for her to tell me when she wanted to go. basically we were there for a while talking and she kept telling me that she wants to keep going out and that nothin was gonna change. so i was like ok i kinda felt wierd and i think it was wrong for her cuz she lead me on. later on she sent me a me a message sayin she had fun last nite and that we had a good conversation. she wants to hang out soon. im like confused what is that suppose to mean. i still want to be her friend and i really dont want to get ne hopes up. ill be pacient with her but i dont want to waste my time. maybe if i we get to know each other a lot better, there could be something i dunno. i was planning to still keep in touch with her but to keep it simple. i was not gonna give in and bother her. if she wanted to hang out than thats fine i really dont want to give in. which she tells me she wants to meet up again. do u guys know wut this means, its been going thru my mind and its really confusing. appreciate the advice. ohh i was not feelin at all the kiss move.
revolutionphilosophy Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Some people may disagree with me... but... Personally I think you've been moved into the 'friend-zone' -- you acted too friendly too soon and set yourself up as 'friend material' instead of relationship material. That is, she's got such a good friend in you that she'd prefer not to lose it or chance it in a relationship. Never let a woman (even though I'm sure quite a few on this board will disagree) tell you that she needs to get to 'know you better' in order to date you. It's a cop-out. Mystery is an allure to anyone... if you knew everything about something... you wouldn't be inclined to find out... would you? Sorry man... but I personally think you've ended up with a good friend... can you handle that?
norajane Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 i still want to be her friend That's your mistake. You are treating her like a friend instead of a woman you want to date. Step up your game - flirt with her, make her feel special, make her feel beautiful and sexy, charm her. She thinks of you as a friend because you haven't captured her imagination - she's not feeling spark. She may never feel it, but she definitely won't feel it if you are just the soup guy. Date other people, don't be so available, and make sure that when you do see her, you compliment her, look into her eyes, tease her, make her feel like a million bucks.
revolutionphilosophy Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 That's your mistake. You are treating her like a friend instead of a woman you want to date. Step up your game - flirt with her, make her feel special, make her feel beautiful and sexy, charm her. She thinks of you as a friend because you haven't captured her imagination - she's not feeling spark. She may never feel it, but she definitely won't feel it if you are just the soup guy. Date other people, don't be so available, and make sure that when you do see her, you compliment her, look into her eyes, tease her, make her feel like a million bucks. It's always nice to hear a women pretty much agree with what I'm saying. Take note: Nora is giving you advice on how to step out of the 'friend-zone' -- you'd be well advised to listen to her.
roxy_1980 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Is anyone else concerned that he referred to this movie as a "7th date"? You admitted that you are in the friends zone and yet your counting "dates"? Women pick up on these things. She knew that you were interested in her. Let me guess, this "let's get to know each other better" speech didn't seem flustered and maybe even a little rehearsed? Tell me if I'm wrong. She was ready for this. She's dodging you. And I know this will be contraversial in the forums, but....she not interesting in you. If you like someone, you get to know them better while dating. Sorry, but I hate to see people wasting their time.
Star Gazer Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 First - I don't think there such thing as falling into/getting into/leading yourself into the "friends zone" (unless you've been platonic friends for YEARS before the spark of interest develops). It doesn't matter how casual/friendly/platonic you behave - there's either interest, or there isn't. You can pretend/behave/act like you're friends, but when you express interest, if the other person is interested they will take the bite. If you behave like friends, and later express interest and they are NOT interested, they won't take the bite. If she was interested in you, you'd NEVER be in the "friends zone." The saying applies both ways - she's just not that into you. And yes Roxy, I noticed the "7th DATE" thing too. Those weren't "dates" by any stretch of the imagination...
D-Lish Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Most attractions occur at the onset of meeting someone for the first time. Byt NJ's right- you need to move out of the friend-zone if you want to date her. It may be too late to turn back from being "just friends"... it's hard to say.
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