caring guy Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Hi I met this girl on a dating site, we talked on msn for 20-30 hours over a week & more. We met,on Wednesday, she said that we'd be fine & she never met anyone of a site before. In fact, she'd deleted mails from guys as she liked me a lot &our conversation! We got on well, went to bars, held hands & all in one night, kissed too. She got a little drunk, as she is petite & can't hold her drink, but i did say lets avoid the drink & go for some food, she said no! In last bar, she was all over me, before we held hands & i instigated kiss that she was receptical of & all was going well. I was kissing her neck & hands were wondering, the both of us! I was shocked at the speed of things, but i guess the way we clicked & the booze, made it happen. The next day, she texted me saying she's taken day off work feeling ill & had too much to drink. She said that the night before was great & all she did was meant & she didn't regret any of it! We met ( as she was eager too) on the Friday saying that it would go further if we met again, so i assumed a night of passion~! We met & she was feeling rough & we had 2 drinks & seperated, i asked if she wanted to go for food, but no! Next day she told me it wasn't anything to do with me, she just felt bad, maybe a virus! & that we'd see each other in week after work. We got on soo well. Tonight i got a text & i'm thinking, it's gonna be about 'are you online & all', but it was saying she didn't feel it could get more heavy & she wasn't up for it! Nothing to do with me! Bye xx mm, thanks. In was so into her I did no wrong, i just made her laugh, was a gent & made her feel nice, but was open too. Compliments etc, being cool, acting on dates as if i known her ages to chill it all out. I give up. This happens too often, i just need someone to talk to about this & get your reaction. I just don't get it! A girl i know says back off & she'll come running back, but then if i back off, she may think i'm totally not interested when i am & thats that. Anyone please! Gaz
AwkwardMan Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Sounds like my post. I'm definitely backing off if dinner day after tomorrow doesn't go well. I totally don't get this stuff though.
norajane Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Definitely back off. You met her on a dating site. You know what that means? It means she is dating other people. You were just one of them, regardless of what she told you about deleting other guys' emails or whatever. You had a good time - chalk it up to experience, and go on to the next girl.
Author caring guy Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 The coincidental thing is, is that she got divorced in August & i came out of an engagement in August. Personally i don't date more than 1 at a time & she said she doesn't, i just know i don't! Confusing messages she sent. 1. She thought she felt run down & was on the verge of flu & wanted to feel better before we met again. 2. Saying it wasn't me at all, it was her fault & she's wanting to get the divorce settlement sorted. Then why did she talk to me for all those hours, didn't she know she had to sort her divorce out. 3. Your not my type, it wouldn't work. We talked for ages before, saying that we both hate head games & being messed around. I'm sick of it, how can i trust anyone & feel there's a chance. I did with her. I answered her messages & said lets keep in touch as mates & see what happens after you sort your issues out. As of yet, no reply. It's just so annoying as we spoke for so long before we met & all was relaxed & we felt we had a good idea about how we were & expectancys & when we did meet, how we clicked in person. The pace of it all wasn't an issue, she wasn't scared off by the speed in which we held hands or kissed as it was reciporacle. So confusing & to be fair, i'm gutted. cg
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 All you can do is wait it out. Things moved REAL fast, too fast...Even if she is saying it wasn't the speed of it all, it IS the reason. Her fault, your fault, doesn't matter. Slow it down, just BE a friend. Cut out the fooling around and touchy/feely stuff. Let her know that you're looking at it from a friend angle, a let's get to KNOW eachother more before jumping in...See what happens, and if she doesn't write you back or call, then give space...And if nothing after that, time to move on.
Author caring guy Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 I know it was fast, it just felt right at the time. I've told her i just want to keep it as mates & chat occasionaly on msn, i've had nothing back other than 'it's my fault, i wanna get the divorce settlement issue sorted 1st, your a nice guy, i'm sorry'. It just annoys me that she knew this before we met & whilst we talked for all that time & planned our meeting. I dpon't know if she means we have a future after it's sorted, i don't want to text her again, i've done that a couple of times. I had a real good feeling about this, it felt right & then all this outa the blue! Maybe she felt that once we met & it felt good, she knew it may be an issue with her divorce issue, i dunno, i wish i did know. Living with not knowing is the worst! cg
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