oyster Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Hello everyone, was reading this article (Suddenly single? Ask Dr. Gilda) http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=7120&menuid=7&lid=428 have a nice read! I think it is text book for OM/MW or soon to be divorced MW. I like this quote too Warning to all single people: If you are looking for a committed, long-term relationship, avoid newly minted singles! They’re licking their wounds and are not capable of love. Wait until they’ve been out on their own and independent for at least nine months before you consider them good prospective dates.
Arabess Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Thanks for posting the article link. I liked this one too: Accept the fact that you “relationship-hopped” because of your own neediness. Get a handle on why you are so needy for love and why you can’t be without a man. Recognize what your husband truly means to you, so you’re sure he is not just a void-filler to replace New Guy or any guy. If this separation happened once, it will happen again—unless you get professional counseling to understand what went wrong. While you may think you can “re-negotiate your issues” on your own, a neutral third party will better guide your healing. Void filler....been thru a few!
Author oyster Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 this is Text book story. One of many typical behaviors in OM relationship. Been there as an OM. With the help of members here and other forums, I was able to try walking away. So far so good, no physical contact for 1.5 months.
Arabess Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 this is Text book story. One of many typical behaviors in OM relationship. Been there as an OM. With the help of members here and other forums, I was able to try walking away. So far so good, no physical contact for 1.5 months. GOOD JOB! I got ya beat by a few years....but I will admit the remembrance of the relationship has lingered. After enough beer and just the right song...I think I can still hear him breathe. BUT... I know for sure you really can move on and give your heart a chance to find a new love that you don't have to share. It's worth the effort!!!
Can'tGiveUp Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 I read that, and I still don't get it. There is NO WAY I would have left my marriage before I tried everything I could to fix it. Ergo, there is NO WAY I would get back with him. Not a chance. When those words were verbalized, that was it. Done. Over. I will never understand how people can separate for weeks/months/years and then get back together. I guess that is just me.
Arabess Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 I read that, and I still don't get it. There is NO WAY I would have left my marriage before I tried everything I could to fix it. Ergo, there is NO WAY I would get back with him. Not a chance. When those words were verbalized, that was it. Done. Over. I will never understand how people can separate for weeks/months/years and then get back together. I guess that is just me. I'm like that too. Once I'm done with it....I'm done with it. It seems other people aren't the same though. I have a friend who has remarried the same guy three farken times!! WTF?
Author oyster Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 I will never understand how people can separate for weeks/months/years and then get back together. I guess that is just me. well, in my case, the mw did not feel the security from me so she went back to her confortable misery. (things are going sour with her husband again, after 1.5 month). now I am thinking more with my brain then my heart. I refuse to see her physically until she gets divorce. Simple.
Author oyster Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 I have a friend who has remarried the same guy three farken times!! WTF? Porsche sale quote "Used is such a harsh word, we prefer Experienced Porsche - accept no substitute" they should adopt the swinger lifestyle rather than the drama of realing in a Single guy/gal then breaking their hearts.
ratingsguy Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Great article, oyster! I wish I had read this before my xMW separated on Jan. 1! What a heck of a month this has been. 3 days of NC so far... hey, it's a start.
Can'tGiveUp Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 well, in my case, the mw did not feel the security from me so she went back to her confortable misery. (things are going sour with her husband again, after 1.5 month). now I am thinking more with my brain then my heart. I refuse to see her physically until she gets divorce. Simple. Maybe that was part of it for me...there was no one else in my life. The decision was not influenced by any other person. But in the case of my xMM, his W wanted to try again after almost a year apart. I certainly have some idea of why she would, but from my personal experience, once I asked my H to leave, that was it. So I still don't 'get it'. Like you, my brain is in charge, and if that is the life they want...so be it.
Arabess Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 To me....trying again with the same person....is like going through the same car wreck over and over.
GreenEyedLady Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 I read that, and I still don't get it. There is NO WAY I would have left my marriage before I tried everything I could to fix it. Ergo, there is NO WAY I would get back with him. Not a chance. When those words were verbalized, that was it. Done. Over. I will never understand how people can separate for weeks/months/years and then get back together. I guess that is just me. yeah, that was me too...when I left, that was the day I was divorced in my heart...
MoonGirl Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Nice article Oyster! I think it applies in most situations, but not all. I do know a few couples who met during a break-up and have been together for years now. But I know it's not the norm. I cannot even fathom going back to someone with whom I've had such a terrible relationship, but obviously it happens a lot. Sounds like self-imposed torture to me!
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