Author useless Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 LOL Ironic that in the show one of the main characters who is obviously LESBIAN is involved and screwing a man... I know...imagine how uncomfortable it makes me to watch that with her sitting right next to me. I have the overwhelming urge to scream "bull****..lesbians don't sleep with men!! That woman is a repressed bisexual just like you are!!!" lol
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I know....it's just not easy...the natural questions that came to my mind right after she told me were "how...why...what the f*ck...it was supposed to be me...is she really not a lesbian like she claims...???" etc..etc... You gotta believe that she didn't have sex with you because she cares for you. She knew that having sex with some guy was about her and her only. She didn't want to hurt or use you that way, so look at it as a positive. If she HAD slept with you, what do you think would be happening now? Think about it.....Seriously....
magichands Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 right..but my point is that she apparently gave this guy several blowjobs.... I can't see how a real lesbian would do something like that. It's up to you to show her what she really wants. You can do it.
sb129 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Yeah, I'm in Canada so I know how the dating game goes...lol Not in an igloo though... He can still go out and have fun. Many people who date can date without having it go serious. He needs the ego boost, experience and fun. As long as he doesn't have sex with someone on the first date, why shouldn't he date casually? Be upfront and say he's not into a serious relationship... I agree!!! My experience of dating is different thats all. And not necessarily better.
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I know...imagine how uncomfortable it makes me to watch that with her sitting right next to me. I have the overwhelming urge to scream "bull****..lesbians don't sleep with men!! That woman is a repressed bisexual just like you are!!!" lol Good to see you have humour about this. Don't lose it, k! Maybe you should mention that. Just say something like, how it is a lesbian who isn't into men can all of sudden have sex with a man? How is that possible? Then see how she reacts. But, make it seem about the show, not about her....
Author useless Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 Useless, does she know you are going on dates? What is her reaction to that? well, she was unaware that I've been on a few dates since we moved here 4 months ago. I told her abot them in an email when we were talking about something else. She didn't have any reaction. She doesn't know about my plans for tonight but she'll be home by the time I leave so I'll probably tell her before I go. She has actually encouraged me to find new friends and find women to date though so I think she'll be almost relieved to know that I'm doing stuff that doesn't rely on her. She's kind of a loner and really likes her space and for me to leave her alone most of the time.
magichands Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Yeah, I'm in Canada That place is weird. Full of lesbians, from what I've heard. It's something to do with a side-effect of maple syrup.
Author useless Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 Good to see you have humour about this. Don't lose it, k! Maybe you should mention that. Just say something like, how it is a lesbian who isn't into men can all of sudden have sex with a man? How is that possible? Then see how she reacts. But, make it seem about the show, not about her.... yeah, I've thought about that but she does know that I was totally shocked when I found out about her, so I think it'll be very transparent if I bring that up even in the context of the show. Who knows...maybe I can use that as good way to bring up this whole thing with her. Although knowing me, if the opportunity does come up I'll probably chicken out and not say anything. That's why the letter idea might work better for me. Once I hand her the paper, it's done and I can't take it back or decide to not tell her.
magichands Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I agree!!! My experience of dating is different thats all. And not necessarily better. It's just like pulling teeth, except that there's more blood involved.
sb129 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 She has actually encouraged me to find new friends and find women to date though so I think she'll be almost relieved to know that I'm doing stuff that doesn't rely on her. She's kind of a loner and really likes her space and for me to leave her alone most of the time. Hmmm. there is possible a clue in that don't you think? She likes you to leave her alone most of the time? I think you sound like you are too good for her anyway, and you would make some nice, straight unconfused girl a wonderful boyfriend.
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 That place is weird. Full of lesbians, from what I've heard. It's something to do with a side-effect of maple syrup. Speak for yourself. Trust me, I love maple syrup and I ain't a lesbian!
sb129 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 It's just like pulling teeth, except that there's more blood involved. Ha ha. As you know, I am now off the market thanks to an extremely successful online date. I am sure the dating scene in Oz is similar to my previous experiences- too much alcohol, banter and fumblings.
Author useless Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 Hmmm. there is possible a clue in that don't you think? She likes you to leave her alone most of the time? I think you sound like you are too good for her anyway, and you would make some nice, straight unconfused girl a wonderful boyfriend. lol....no need for clues. I'm pretty much convinced that in no way does she feel about me the same way I feel about her. Not even close. Since we've been living together she has turned our relationship from one of being friends to one of being just roommates. When she introduces me to people she doesn't even say "this is my friend, useless." She introduces me as just her roommate. Yeah, it kind of kills me a little inside when she does things like this, but objectively speaking, she doesn't treat me all that well most of the time. That does kill me because 6 years ago before we lost touch, we really were the best of friends and she was completely different towards me. Remember, she would even talk to her therapist more about me than about the girlfriend she was living with at the time. And the relationship with that girlfriend was why she went to therapy to begin with....then she ends up talking to the therapist more about me than about her...lol. aaaaay caramba..I'm so confused!!!! lol
sb129 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I think you need to stop yourself from being confused, and make up your mind that you are going to forget about her in a romantic sense. It won't be easy... but it sounds like its for the best.
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Her words are one thing, don't read into that too much...What do her actions say? Meaning, is she considerate of you, does she do nice things for you? Is she affectionate with you? A good friend TO you? Does she listen and help you as well?
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 forget about her in a romantic sense. Yup, which brings me back to what I said earlier. It's really hard to be "just" friends with someone if you are inlove with them. You read into EVERYTHING and analzye to death! Friendships are easy, and simple. It is what it is, no questions asked. Bottomline, she's lesbian and the chances of her having a 'real' relationship with you ain't gonna happen...
magichands Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Bottomline, she's lesbian and likes playing with penises.
Author useless Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 Her words are one thing, don't read into that too much...What do her actions say? Meaning, is she considerate of you, does she do nice things for you? Is she affectionate with you? A good friend TO you? Does she listen and help you as well? Sadly, she's not very considerate of me any more although she used to be. She doesn't do nice things for me, and affection? lmao. She's as cold as can be. However, she does listen when I need to talk and will help me when I need it, although she won't seek me out to talk about herself even though she used to. Basically, a lot has changed in the year we've been living together. She seems to have pushed me away even though it was her idea to move in together and she practically begged me to do so. I had hoped this past year would give us a chance to rebuild the friendship we had 6 years ago. The year started off great but somehow it hasn't ended up so well. What's interesting is that if I initiate anything, for example asking if she wants to go grab dinner or see a movie or go to a museum, she always says no and sometimes even acts annoyed. Now, if I totally pull away and don't speak to her or anything, she eventually comes to me and will talk to me about stuff and ask if I want to do something. I think you need to stop yourself from being confused, and make up your mind that you are going to forget about her in a romantic sense. It won't be easy... but it sounds like its for the best. No doubt about that. it won't be easy and I think it will require getting everything out in the open with her so I can move on and get over it. As you can see, there's a lot here that is confusing me and I don't think I'll ever resolve it until I talk directly to her about it. So far starting off with giving her a letter seems to be the best course of action.
Author useless Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 Yup, which brings me back to what I said earlier. It's really hard to be "just" friends with someone if you are inlove with them. You read into EVERYTHING and analzye to death! Friendships are easy, and simple. It is what it is, no questions asked. Bottomline, she's lesbian and the chances of her having a 'real' relationship with you ain't gonna happen... yep..unrequited love is one of the hardest types of pain to endure. In a friendship, you don't care who the person is out with, who they sleep with, what they're doing, why they didn't call you, what something they said might really mean, etc..etc... If you're in love with someone the way I am, all of those things matter to one person but not the other and it makes a real friendship very difficult.
Author useless Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 god...what do I see in this woman? Why do we often fall for those who not only don't reciprocate our feelings, but actually try to tear us down and make us feel like crap? I just got back from my date tonight and she asked me how it went. I jokingly told her that if my date and I ever had kids they would be the best looking kids on the planet since my date was hot as hell (turns out she was a former model and gymnast), and I'm not too bad myself. So she tells me I'm delusional and I'm nothing more than an average joe bordering on ugly motherf*cker.
magichands Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 god...what do I see in this woman? Lesbians are hot.
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