RocketMan2 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 In a pretty bad way this morning I feel so lonely. My life is so empty without her We did everything together. I keep thinking of the GREAT times we had together. We went to florida together this summer, i can remember playing together in the pool and at the theme parks, really interacting. I can remember holding hands on the beach, sunbathing together. Her neighbour at home has a pool in their back garden and in summer we used to have water fights in it. I remember our first date, she spilt wine all over the menu then picked it up and poured it everywhere lol. I can rememer sitting in a bar afterwards feeling awkward as to whether to kiss her or not. when i did, WOW. I can remember her proud face at my graduation. I can rememeber how we went camping, staying in bed all day and doing camping cooking We used to sit in the park in summer at night and look at the stars and just talk for hours. I can remember how we always used to go to this certain pizza place for a midnight snack. Thinking of all these times has made me realise how it went downhill. Why would she throw all this away without even wanting to talk about it? I check my phone ever 5 seconds for a text off her How can someone so special just cut you of their lives, especially when they say they still love you.
polywog Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Oh Rocketman, I know, I know.... It's so hard, I am going through the same stuff. U R on my mind Rocket, ((((Rocketman))))
miss snoopy Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 (((((hugs))))) I know the feeling, wish I had words of comfort but I too am going through a sh*tty time right now.
shockandawed Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Rocket, I had one of those days yesterday myself. The one thing that helps for me is to allow a little of the reminiscing but then refocus on some of the crap she did. I too can see something that reminds me of a special time. It happens daily, but I have to keep focusing on why I am in this situation. Slowly, and I mean slowly, I am starting to see things more clearer about the relationship than I was earlier. Yes, we had some special times that I will always cherish, but there was some serious issues under the surface that the blinders didn't let me see then. While we are still hurting, I have a sneaky feeling your pain isn't as bad as it was a week or two ago. That is what you have to look at, not how bad it is right now, but are you in any way better than a week or two? You will then realize you have progressed. Hang in there my friend.
hrtbroken99 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 In a pretty bad way this morning I feel so lonely. My life is so empty without her We did everything together. I keep thinking of the GREAT times we had together. We went to florida together this summer, i can remember playing together in the pool and at the theme parks, really interacting. I can remember holding hands on the beach, sunbathing together. Her neighbour at home has a pool in their back garden and in summer we used to have water fights in it. I remember our first date, she spilt wine all over the menu then picked it up and poured it everywhere lol. I can rememer sitting in a bar afterwards feeling awkward as to whether to kiss her or not. when i did, WOW. I can remember her proud face at my graduation. I can rememeber how we went camping, staying in bed all day and doing camping cooking We used to sit in the park in summer at night and look at the stars and just talk for hours. I can remember how we always used to go to this certain pizza place for a midnight snack. Thinking of all these times has made me realise how it went downhill. Why would she throw all this away without even wanting to talk about it? I check my phone ever 5 seconds for a text off her How can someone so special just cut you of their lives, especially when they say they still love you. Oh rocketman..looks like we are both having a sad mornin g...I also feel very sad, empty, and lonely...I also check my phone and email with the hope that he may contact me. But NO, I get nothing. I also constantly think about the last time I saw him, if only I knew that was going to be the last time that I would ever get to see him Other memories haunt me when I happen to drive by the place we first met at, the first dinner I ever cooked for him, when going to the store and finding an item that he really likes, or wears, when hearing a song on the radio, hearing about a movie we watched together, even little things like street signs and pictures haunt me. Lately I have been waking up with dreams about him. Instead of getting better I feel like its getting worse. Nothing I can do but whine and cry and pretend like everything is all good in front of family and co workers. Yet, sitting at home every night thinking about him and crying about him. "Why would she throw all this away without even wanting to talk about it? How can someone so special just cut you of their lives, especially when they say they still love you." I wonder the same, why would he throw me out of his like without even wanting to talk about it? I don't have the answer to that or to why someone who says they love you just kick you out in 2 minutes and not even discuss it. It makes me wonder all the things he ever said and did, did he ever even mean those things? what is the guarantee if I meet someone in the future and they end up doing the same? its not worth the pain...I have no desire to go through this miserable mess again..I am sorry you feel this way...but I am on the exact boat with the exact questions...you are not alone:mad:
Kelso Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I feel for you man, but you must remember that even though you're having a sad time right now ... it will get better, and probably sooner than you think. You don't say how long you've been broken up - but you will get fed up with thinking about the same things over and over again. CaliGuy taught me something that might be able to help you. Everytime she poppes into you mind, just say to yourself "WHO" and concentrate on something else. Don't allow yourself to get too deep into thoughts about her ... don't dwell on the past. It will get better. Yesterday, there were three months since me and my ex broke up. In the beginning it was hell, and then it gets a little better. Just take babysteps and remind that for every two steps you take forward, you will have a relapse and step one step back. It takes time ... and I can't tell you enough...It will get better... Hang in there
lonelybird Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 HI, RocketMan2 You are not alone here. I feel for you. I've heard someone cope their sad mood by certain way, and they got good result from it. When you feel down and sad, you just do the opposite, such as "speak positively, act positively, and even shout and jump with some crazy music (in your own home:), if you are a believer, shout something like "praise God; if you aren't, shout "praise universe", and you will find positive feeling and thinking would actually follow in", and put your focus off her, (I know it is easy said than done) try to do something else. like voleenteer to feed poor, or exercise...
Author RocketMan2 Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 Thanks for everyones comments, they really cheered me up until this happened: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t110345/ Now i just hate her lol. Im sure i'll have another day like this though so ill be sure to reread it when i do. Thanks a lot
wanda98 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Hi rocket I dont often post in other peoples threads (I have just gone thru something pretty awful myself that I posted about) but your thread just made me want to cry all over again, I know how it feels and all the emotions that come from a break up. My ex (very recent) broke my heart and turned out to be a liar and an utter f**kwit. I know that he did all the things he did, but its really hard to just forget the good times and the way that he made me feel. It is a lot easier hating someone, I hope I can get there someday. wanda
Author RocketMan2 Posted January 22, 2007 Author Posted January 22, 2007 Hi rocket I dont often post in other peoples threads (I have just gone thru something pretty awful myself that I posted about) but your thread just made me want to cry all over again, I know how it feels and all the emotions that come from a break up. Ow im sorry (hugs) Didn't mean to set any one off! Ill find your threads and see if i've got anything to say
wanda98 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 thanks rocket for your reply in my thread - but if you read the next entry to my 'saga' things got a lot worse. I hope that things get better soon, for both of us. (......hence my appearance in the 'coping' forum, Ive graduated...)
johnnytable Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 "How can someone so special just cut you of their lives, especially when they say they still love you." Because somebody can say that they love you when they don't love you. They might not even know this. However they would not be cutting you out if they loved you the way that you deserve to be loved.
most Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 same feelings...its such a struggle everyday...why, why, why. it just never stops. i hate this person i've become and i blame him...i do. so when thoughts of him pop in my head...i cuss him out. i'm trying to run away from the ghost of our past, and move on. i hope u can do the same. a friend of mine said i seemed like my old self again, hey thats a start. its baby steps my friend or a foul mouth. whatever works. its just too damn shocking to wrap my brain around it. but its upwards & onwards!!!!
rab5 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 How long were you together? I read somewhere that women break off a relationship typically after much thought and premeditatation as to where men break up impulsively. Did you have any warning signs and if so could you have done anything different to save the relationship? Curious to know if you noticed any stange responses to a question or did anything you noticed seem strange? I ask because maybe we can learn something. It sucks, I'm going through hell right now myself hence the response to your situation and I thought I'd throw my two-cents in. Good luck and they say time heals all wounds.
D-Lish Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Hey RM, Just concentrate on the negative parts of her- it really does help. Getting over someone doesn't happen overnight- but it will happen. Thinking about the great times/things about her will only worsen the pain. I don't know how it happened for me, but one day I woke up and realized I'm really getting over my ex. It sounds awful- but I keep remembering his "ridiculous" sex face. He looked all startled and cross-eyed when he was "excited"....and he thrashed around like a dying fish when we were having sex. lol. I'm awful. Everytime you begin thinking of her- just train yourself to think of something else. There are no magic tips that can help you get over someone...healing is a progression. You'll get there. Is it too soon for you to go out on some dates? It's not a solution to the heartache- but it's certainly a vehicle to your recovery. Dating doesn't have to mean you are ready to jump into another serious relationship, but it's nice to feel wanted and enjoy the company of another person. I dated a couple men immediately following my break up- not serious dates, just a couple light hearted meetings. It made me feel better to get out there. I too spent a lot of time after my break up thinking about all the good times. It did nothing to help me get over him. The silly dances he did, our first date when we were both so nervous that we got ridiculously drunk and made out like teenagers in a pub. Now I think of the sex face...and the evil words he said to me when he dumped me. Those thoughts make me angry- all the broken promises, how stubborn he is... that is what I focus on now. It helps to get angry, it really does. Now I find myself with a new dilemma- how to date again... You're going to be okay RM, just concentrate on the things you can do to heal yourself. D
kimba Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 It sounds awful- but I keep remembering his "ridiculous" sex face. He looked all startled and cross-eyed when he was "excited"....and he thrashed around like a dying fish when we were having sex. lol. D Lish, thats absolutely hilarious:laugh: :laugh: I "broke up" with a male friend today after an intense 4 year rollercoaster ride of emotional torture (see thread "tossed aside" under friends forum)... Hey, thats the first time i've actually admitted that it was torture.... And only 4 hours after him saying "its over" Anyway point is that i really need to start compiling that list of "what was wrong with him" cos there were plenty of things that annoyed me when i think about it. I, like everyone else on this thread, don't want to start fantasizing about what a great friendship it was , because if it was, we would still be friends. And i suppose thats the same for the people on here who were actually in relationships
Author RocketMan2 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 Well, i guess i had a one night stand last night (first time ever). There's no point sugar coating it, i had the beer googles on They were pretty thick too lol. It was really crap to be honest, which only makes me put my ex on an even higher pedestal, even though thinking about it, she wasnt that great either. I just thought she was because she was so hot. I didn't think about my ex at all until this morning, when I was lying in bed trying to muster some energy to walk back from the roughest part of town to the office in just a tshirt without getting bummed/mugged. Its so cold out there, its snowing! I think what made me think of her was that my ex always used to stop at mine, like EVERY night and we'd always cuddle in bed in this certain position. It was really sad to be reminded that she didnt want to do that with me any more It was a really good feeling to wake up with your arm around the one you love, all warm and cosy. Im not sure what i'm feeling now. I can't accept what a b*tch shes been to me. Theres absolutely no reason for it. I don't think she hates me, she had no reason to, so it must just be immaturity. Thats kinda worse though because I know its not necessarilly a flaw with her, she just needs to grow up and realise a few things. I've been having a lot of thoughts really as to what her actual reason were, and it really hurts, REALLY hurts. I cant stop it. What i can't understand is how she flipped overnight. OVERNIGHT?! I had no clue to it building up at all. Maybe im naive, i probably was a bit. Its a month since Xmas day, when we were so happy SO happy, exchanging pressies and talking about the future. 2 days till she dumped me without a care
MotherGooze Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 From your threads I've read...I'm beginning to see that maybe she was hot, but she wasn't very pretty on the inside. Now take all those bad things about her personallity and try and make an image of what she would look like on the inside....I'm sure she looks like a golem now. Do you really want to be with someone like that? You deserve so much better! Well, one night stand aren't really my thing either, and I wouldn't advice it if you're still thinking about someone else. Don't think too much about what happened, think about the things you can do now. In time, You can actually be together with someone who actually cares for you and treats you well. Enjoy your freedom for now. Have some dates, be a player:p
Author RocketMan2 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 "How can someone so special just cut you of their lives, especially when they say they still love you." Because somebody can say that they love you when they don't love you. They might not even know this. However they would not be cutting you out if they loved you the way that you deserve to be loved. Thats a good point. Its just how she sat there, I made her look me right in the eye, and i asked her if she still loved me, and she said yes in the sincerest voice. If someone can lie like that and appear genuine, how can you ever trust anyone? All my exs have screwed me right over with trust. Thats why i was so 'needy' with her, because my ex before her cheated on me for months with my "mate". My ex before her got off with two of my mates in front of my face. great. Whats the need to screw me over all the time. Im a good guy, i've never done anything majorly wrong to hurt anyone. I always get sh*t on Whats the need???
polywog Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Thats a good point. Its just how she sat there, I made her look me right in the eye, and i asked her if she still loved me, and she said yes in the sincerest voice. If someone can lie like that and appear genuine, how can you ever trust anyone? All my exs have screwed me right over with trust. Thats why i was so 'needy' with her, because my ex before her cheated on me for months with my "mate". My ex before her got off with two of my mates in front of my face. great. Whats the need to screw me over all the time. Im a good guy, i've never done anything majorly wrong to hurt anyone. I always get sh*t on Whats the need??? Rocket, I have been following your posts, and so relate... I am going through a sh**ty similar thing myself. You deserve a woman who says she loves you and means it. I say ride the yucky wave of grief until you start to come through the other side a bit more, stronger and with the self respect that this ordeal ultimately brings us. Don't beat yourself up with the thoughts of these past relationships (easy for me to tell another person, as I am battling similar demons!). I am guessing that when you have healed a bit more from all this sh*t you will attract a woman who is not a phony untrustworthy jerk and will be ready for the joys she will bing you. Because that's how the universe works...
Author RocketMan2 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 Rocket, I have been following your posts, I appreciate that, taking the time to read my ramblings all over the place. Nice one I say ride the yucky wave of grief until you start to come through the other side a bit more, stronger and with the self respect that this ordeal ultimately brings us. Is that the rule or the exception? I'd like to feel like that, id like to be able to stand up and feel confident and strong without any worries. I am guessing that when you have healed a bit more from all this sh*t you will attract a woman who is not a phony untrustworthy jerk and will be ready for the joys she will bing you. Because that's how the universe works... I hope so. Its how the universe works? What do u mean.. Rocket
polywog Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Your posts may seem rambling to you, but to read them, I see consistency. I guess what I mean by how the universe works, it's not so mysterious. One just comes through these ugly trials a stronger person, and so you attract better partners. You gain insight and wisdom, see through people's phoniness better. Gawd, this sounds all pithy and preachy, sorry! But maybe you see what I am getting at? Yes?
Author RocketMan2 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 Your posts may seem rambling to you, but to read them, I see consistency. If you don't mind me asking, what do you see exactly? Please be honest, and dont worry about being blunt It would be interesting to know what an unbiased third party sees. Gawd, this sounds all pithy and preachy, sorry! But maybe you see what I am getting at? Yes? Lol no it doesnt, yeah i understand what youre saying
upsetnhurt Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Rocketman, May I ask you what characteristics you are looking for in a woman? Have you ever really sat down and thought about it? Please do and it can be anything......someone who is caring, honest, thoughtful, willing to put your happiness at the forefront of her priorities, goal oriented, sexy, etc.......and then please do me a favor, compare those qualities that you have listed to your ex and the way she treated you. I have to believe you will be stunned at the total results and realize that as lonely as you feel now and as much as you think it would be easier to have her run back to you....it really isnt. It is simply going to provide some short term happiness and then one day you will realize that she isnt giving you what you want in another person. There is no need to prolong this from happening........take this precious time now to regain your composure, put together more qualities that you desire in someone, be the best person you can be and before you know it she will arrive........................
polywog Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 If you don't mind me asking, what do you see exactly? Please be honest, and dont worry about being blunt It would be interesting to know what an unbiased third party sees Well, maybe I haven't read every single one of your posts, but I see a guy who was betrayed by a woman who sounds immature and selfish, and who was sad and hurt (devasted, even), saw some selfish actions on her part and saw the b***c part of her, and is slowly (not a judgement, it's a slow process we go thru), seeing the light, but still feels all the usual pain of missing her despite the bad things he is starting to realize about this unworthy chick. And who is starting to move forward, and has posted some very nice sympathetic advice on other suffering LSer's threads (I think even mine). How's that? PS I am not afraid to be blunt, by the way.
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