Spanking your child in California may soon

[Jeffrey]

Wait until they're tweens/teens, you'll see how far hitting will take you.

 

Yes, let's just let the children know violence is acceptable, they'll NEVER grow up to hit others

 

I am a firm believer of "you spare the rod you spoil the child"

 

Does this mean that you walk around hitting your child for every little thing they do? No it absolutely doesn't. But when the moment that a "sit on the naughty chair" isn't going to cut it.

 

I have a 5 year old that loves to test his boundaries and see if he can get away with murder. If he runs in the middle of the street when there is a car coming, I'd probably will swat his bottom and send him inside.

 

Does that make me less of a parent if a cop drives by that very moment?

 

But if I don't do anything about it and he gets hit by a car because the "Johnny that is a no no" method didn't work. I am in trouble with the law as well.

 

It is a lose/lose situation

[Asafan]

Wait until they're tweens/teens, you'll see how far hitting will take you.

 

Yes, let's just let the children know violence is acceptable, they'll NEVER grow up to hit others

 

There is nothing wrong with having a debate about the merits/dangers of spanking, but what IS wrong is creating laws that overstep into people's lives. Let's have a law that says you can't pick your nose in your car. No wait, lets have a law that says you can't smoke in your car.

 

Believe me I don't spank my child all that often. In fact, its rare. More often than not I can get him to do the right thing by talking to him and asking him nicely. Believe it or not that usually works very well. The fanny smack is always a last resort.

[CardPlay3r]

There is nothing wrong with having a debate about the merits/dangers of spanking, but what IS wrong is creating laws that overstep into people's lives.

 

So I guess parents should get to do anything to their children inside their home, beat them like hell, rape them torture them whatever because doing anything about it would be overstepping into their lives?

[Asafan]

So I guess parents should get to do anything to their children inside their home, beat them like hell, rape them torture them whatever because doing anything about it would be overstepping into their lives?

 

Hmm, how about laws that actually help families rather than tear them apart and place blame? How about programs that educate? How about more tax breaks for families with children, and/or more of a tax credit that a lousy 1000 dollars. How about better support for CPS than it already has. How about parenting classes for new parents as part of the OBGYN visits that go along with pregnancy? How about a billion other things other than creating intrusive laws that give government more power over the people.

[CardPlay3r]

You didn't answer me Asafan, I was asking a simple question. Let me repeat it :

 

Should parents be allowed to beat their children like hell, rape them or torture them etc. because doing anything about it would be overstepping into their lives?

 

I am asking about those things that are already happening. Say you have family Smith where the dad John rapes his daughter every week. Should the state do anything about it or not?

[Asafan]

You didn't answer me Asafan, I was asking a simple question. Let me repeat it :

 

Should parents be allowed to beat their children like hell, rape them or torture them etc. because doing anything about it would be overstepping into their lives?

 

I am asking about those things that are already happening. Say you have family Smith where the dad John rapes his daughter every week. Should the state do anything about it or not?

 

The state does do something about it already. It's called child protective services, and there already are laws that say you can't do those things. Maybe you misunderstood what I was trying to say. No one in their right mind would say it is okay to abuse or rape a child. Unless they were completely nuts. I was a victim of abuse myself, although it was not faimily abuse.

[CardPlay3r]

Well plenty say it in this world and even more ignore/condone it.

 

You made it sound as in any law that meddled into a home was wrong. Of course if you're going to remove a child that's being raped/beaten up from a home you'll have to interfeer in it that is why I asked.

 

Ok so I guess it's alright to make a law and meddle to remove children out of those abusive situations, so where do you draw the line on what constitutes abuse? This law just narrows that line

[Asafan]

Ok so I guess it's alright to make a law and meddle to remove children out of those abusive situations, so where do you draw the line on what constitutes abuse? This law just narrows that line

 

I was just reacting to the fact that everyone seemed all for any law that would try to infringe upon a parents rights. Most of the comments I read had to do with, what seemed like, your basic swat on the fanny rather than severe, obvious abusive situations.

 

In those situations, of course, SOMEONE has to step in and help. I just feel that we don't need intrusive laws, we need to fix the system in place.

[tinktronik]

I was just reacting to the fact that everyone seemed all for any law that would try to infringe upon a parents rights. Most of the comments I read had to do with, what seemed like, your basic swat on the fanny rather than severe, obvious abusive situations.

 

In those situations, of course, SOMEONE has to step in and help. I just feel that we don't need intrusive laws, we need to fix the system in place.

This is my point as well. There is a lot of "help" availably . In fact social services in the states can allow a nurse to move into the home in order to regulate the parenting , and teach parents how to cope and parent properly , however this almost NEVER gets used , instead children are removed bcause Ours is broken , and more money gets circulated when a child is placed outside of thier familial home . I would have a very different outlook on the "no spank " law passing if the system we have in place worked differently . But it does not and does not appear to be making any progress towards working better.

[CardPlay3r]

Well maybe this law makes it easier to spot those who abuse their children.

 

Because those who do that now don't have any regard for the law now anyway when they give a 'mild' spanking in public view it will be probable they dish it out alot worse at home.

[Blue Phoenix]

--"There is a HUGE distinction between beating the living hell out of a kid and an attention getting smack on the fanny"-- It starts as a small inocent smack on the fanny then in the privacey of there own home that smack turns into welts and bruses. Don't fool your self that happends more often then not sad to say!! So can I ask you something? do you think its ok for a husband to give his wife a smack if she in his eyes disobeys him? maybe if its only a small smack ha? The anser is no its seen as abuse so if its not exceptable in that situation why is it so in a parent child one??

 

 

--"I once worked with a woman whose eight year old boy was also out of control. Her and her husband never ever once hit the kid because they were so against it. They tried all the "nice" things that were suggested and it did nothing. Finally they brought him to a psychiatrist and he said, "Do you ever hit him?" When the responded that they didn't. He actually said they should"-- Thats amaing and very sad im almost 100% sure that psychiatrist could have and should have lost his job and his licenes to pratice!!! Thats realy hard to belive any mentil health professional saying to do that in this day and age. Maybe more like the parents were finaly fed up and stressed so they cooked up the story to cover there own butts incase hitting him backfired on them..

 

--"The next time he got out of line they did it, and the kid was walkin around proudly stating, "I got a beatin" and was much better from then on. True story!"-- Again hard to belive any child would walk around proudly saying they got a beatin?? Much better from then on or sceared of his parents children who are liveing in fear can seam very well behaved. I personaly would rather my son not ever be afraid of me this is 2007 not the stone age and hitting your kids is a cave man mentality sorry..

[Blue Phoenix]

The following info I got off a web page that another poster put up in the abuse section Asafan you should go have have a look its intresting readeing...Child abuse has existed and flourished throughout history, in all cultures and ethnic backgrounds, in all its forms. Historically, two rights are at the core of violence against children: the right to own property and the right to own children. ---"If I feel that my child needs a smack on the ass because he is being stubborn and not listening there ain't no way, no how anyone is gonna tell me I can't"--- Because you own your children and you know whats right for them right???

 

.Throughout history children were considered property. Parents had the unrestricted authority to do to a child whatever was deemed necessary. Usually the father made all the disciplinary decisions. When comparing abuse and discipline, the question to ask is: what is the caregiver trying to achieve in either case?

There is no question that my parents were abusers. Of course, ---->everything they did was with the belief that they were simply imposing discipline<----. It was a different time. A time when children were taught to respect but were given no respect in return; many of us grew up that way. "EVERY THING THEY DID WAS WITH THE BELIFE THAT THEY WERE SIMPLY IMPOSEING DISCIPLINE" And that right there is why I think we need more laws to protect children!! Because even tho some parents dont take it to far maney maney do and there has to be some fear in them that if they do they can and will pay for it!!

[Austanne]

Education is the answer when it comes to changing people's minds. I mean, why do you think that people still cut off part of their child's penis in America? When it boils down to it, people do what their parents did. They got hit, so they are going to hit. And until the parent is educated and informed, they're going to hit their child. They think of it as "I got hit and I'm okay."

 

Thanks Blue Phoenix! Those are excelent points.

[Blue Phoenix]

No prob any time!! I fully agree with what you say as well we have all grown up with this nonsence embeded in our heads that its ok to do this! Well guess what people its not its wrong matter of fact. Something just poped into my mind as im writing this. Some people love to say stuff like well in the "good old days" kids were better. And now there just going to hell there so violent and uncontrolable hmm... Lets play connect the dots and put the pices of the puzzel togher here --Mom and dad grow up being taut that violence and pain are the way to control there kids.In return there kids grow up doing the same and so on and so on thu the genarations more VOILENCE AND PAIN.. Seams to me that maybe the state of the kids today might just be reflecting the mistakes of those "good old days" in a way?? just something to think about..

[Austanne]

I agree. I think that when you think about the horrible health, lack of education, and backslide in "morality" (so to speak) you can look at humans trying to improve upon nature and make their lives easier.

 

We shun Nutritious food, prefering junk food that is geneticly modified and hydrogonized. Doctors thought that Forumula would be healthier than Human Milk. When we realize that it doesn't even come close, those who keep using Formula do so because it's easier.

 

TV has become the Religon in our homes, and instead of using our hearts and minds to parent, we turn to Doctors and Tradition. Those who oppose these things are "weird" and because they have the facts on their side, they are seen as "pushy".

 

I happen to be one of the people who breastfeeds, co-sleeps, doesn't spank, eats all nataral food and doesn't watch TV. My son is incredibly happy and healthy.

 

Blue Phoenix, drop me an email when you can: [email protected]

[Guest]

I live in a country where a simple spank on the behind IS illegal and I hate to tell you do gooders out there that feel it is abuse to spank a child when they do wrong but our teenagers are indeed out of hand here and the Government is right beside them.

 

You just wait till your rights as a parent are taken away,you try and manage a disrespectful mouthy child and see how far you get.There is a HUGE difference between a spank and being bashed OK,the later one I don't believe in but my Father spanked us kids when we did wrong and at least we are all respectful of adults and not out there breaking into houses and being a burdon on society.

 

If someone is an abuser they will beat their children no matter what the law says and these people do deserve to be jailed for their crimes but come on people,a simple smack on the tail or hand when your childs throwing a tanty in public is that such a crime?Think about it....

[TaylorOneal]

I think spanking is okay as long as you understand the boundaries. I was not spanked as often as my husband and I spank but I think it also depends on the child and age. Abuse is abuse but punishment is punishment and I think a 3 year old sitting in the corner well for my experience doesnt work. I know with my kid she would prefer the corner but her 2 minute time out usually turns into a 30 minute power trip with mommy.

 

She get her hand smacked and her bottom and she is still in diapers so its not bare butt.. I know a lot of people this day in age dont agree with spankings but as a todler you cant really ground them and my daughter doesnt play with toys often at all actually so taking things from her doesnt work. If I were put in jail for spanking my kid I would be so upset and feel very..... I dont know I dont agree with this concept

my 2 cents