daisydo Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I am interesting in hearing what everyone has to say about maturity - specifically emotional maturity. What stage did you reach it? What made you realize this? Did anything bring about this? At what stage in your life did you feel stable enough to start a committed and mature relationship? Also, include your gender if you don't mind. I know it varies for everyone but I am just interested in hearing everyone's experiences. I am 24 years old and female and I am just now starting to feel more mature and emotionally secure. I realize it because I am single for the first time in a long time and am feeling confident, although lonely at the same time and am accepting this contradiction. A recent break up brought this about - he begged for me to come back but I realized that we both need time apart to sort out our own personal lives. I am hoping to start a more mature and positive relationship with in the next few years if I am lucky. Let me know what your experience is!
Pyro Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I am interesting in hearing what everyone has to say about maturity - specifically emotional maturity. What stage did you reach it? What made you realize this? Did anything bring about this? At what stage in your life did you feel stable enough to start a committed and mature relationship? Also, include your gender if you don't mind. I am male.I felt that I reached it after my first real relationship. I was 22 at the time and I did learn alot from that first relationship. What helped me was talking to friends but what really helped me was a book called "People Skills". After I read that, things were put into such a better perspective for me. I hope that it helps.
polywog Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I'm female. I think that my first big emotional growth spurt was after my marriage ended 13 years ago. It was not a healthy relationship for either of us, but he was the one who took the step of ending it. I was devastated because I was afraid to be on my own. I had never been without a man since I was 18, I mean there might have been about 5 months at one point between relationships where I had wild flings, but I never saw being alone as an option, I mean subconciously. I was a serial monogamist. After my marriage ended I squandered myself on one silly fling after another that were not fruitful emotionally. Luckily I was seeing a very great therapist at this time. She finally asked me to stay out of a relationship for 6 months, which I did. It stretched to over a year, during which I grew up and realized who I was, and it was one of the best times of my life. I realized that I was happy to be by myself, and could so could see what I wanted in a mate if one should come along. MY emotional maturity keeps happening. My current SO of 9 years just broke it off, and I am heartbroken, but not broken. Despite my pain and a few pathetic "help me please" posts here on LS recently, I know that I will be OK because I have myself. I expect to mature more through this experience, am already seeing my role in what happened, and am riding out & slogging through this pain knowing I will get to the other side. It helps a LOT to have found the LS community, and the bunny inspires me.
Author daisydo Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 Thanks for the responses. Anyone else like to share?
IpAncA Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I am interesting in hearing what everyone has to say about maturity - specifically emotional maturity. What stage did you reach it? What made you realize this? Did anything bring about this? At what stage in your life did you feel stable enough to start a committed and mature relationship? Also, include your gender if you don't mind. I reached my emotional maturity very young. Probably when I was about 20 years old. I've acutally always been very marture for my age. I'm female and 25 and have the maturity of someone who is in their 30s. When I was 15 I acted like I was 21 and I've always hung out with older people. There just at my level. I felt stable enough to start a mature relationship around that time too. Sure I didn't want to get married yet but I could committ if needed.
norajane Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I'm 39 and I don't think emotional maturity is something you ever reach. It's something you work on your whole life. Sometimes you handle things better than other times, but those other times can still be doozies. It depends on how much you learn and what you learn after each mistake. We're all 'works in progress'.
Pyro Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I'm 39 and I don't think emotional maturity is something you ever reach. It's something you work on your whole life. Sometimes you handle things better than other times, but those other times can still be doozies. It depends on how much you learn and what you learn after each mistake. We're all 'works in progress'. Very well put. We all learn something new everyday.
IpAncA Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I'm 39 and I don't think emotional maturity is something you ever reach. It's something you work on your whole life. Sometimes you handle things better than other times, but those other times can still be doozies. It depends on how much you learn and what you learn after each mistake. We're all 'works in progress'. O sure you can. I think it depends on the person and the way you look at it.
allina Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I'm female, 23. I've always felt emotionally stable and have had pretty stable relationships but I'm just now starting to feel mature. I've always been very spoiled and irresponsible. The guys I dated were mostly the same. Just recently I have started to get my sh*t together and feeeling like a worthwhile, contributing member of society. It's sad but never before have I had so much responsibility or been so busy, and I don't have it hard, at all.
Author daisydo Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 Thanks for the opinions. I think we are all works in progress.. I definitely agree! But I think most of us have also reached a point in our lives when we realize that we are full-fledged adults and begin to have more mature and lasting relationships.
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