RichC Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I have been lurking for awhile and finally joined the Forum! My story: I am going through a divorce and the end of a rebound relationship. The divorce is no problem because the marriage, for all intensive purposes ended in 2000. I moved out in May and had a rebound relationship with a woman that ended after 10 months. She was just coming off of a very abusive marriage of 23 years. She has two children 12 and 16 and as a single parent she more than had her hands full and the relationship couldn't be sustained, plus, I just did not know how much I should be involved on the kids side so I am getting over that. For the first ten years of the marriage things were good. My wife was from the West Side in Chicago and we met in grad school. Both interested in leaving the city for the country and did when we sold our home to the State and bought 24 acres in Indiana. Things started really going down from there. She never attempted to get a job even though we needed the money and became more and more isolated. Never made new friends and never exploited her talent as an artist even though I offered to hook her up with the arts community here. Her mother was pretty demented. Their conversations always ended up with the mother screaming at her then hanging up. The dad passed in 1996. After the sister moved in it was them against me. The sister also has some problems. She has never had a job and is liable to scream alot. Also the sister brought a trailer full of dogs with her. I got deployed from 2002 to 2003 and when I came home the welcome was like one I got from coming home after work, pretty indifferent. I noticed she spent her days working out in the woods working on lord knows what. And I mean from morning till night, no days off and no holidays. I was clear that there was something not quite right going on in her head. She also started exhibiting the "pack rat" problem her mother had. This went on until 2005 when the sister and I got into a fight. I put one of the dogs that was in the bedroom into the sunroom so I could get some sleep and the sister followed me back to the bedroom screaming then punched me in the chest. She was going for a second punch when I tagged her in the side of the head. She threatened to kill me and I just retreated to the bedroom. At least I would know which direction she was coming from. My wife got between us and got the sister out of there. They both filed a police report and four months later I was arrested at my house and spent four hours in prison being bailed out by my priest. Found out they lied on the report. They waited two days to file then, when asked about it by the prosecuter, they said it had to do with their employment. It all ended up being dismissed. I also found out she filed a fraudulent quit claim deed deeding my share of the property to her. I moved out in May and that was a relief. I am getting over a rebound relationship with a harried mother of two who is a beautiful human being but the demands of the house were too much. It was rebound for her too and both of us needed the physical contact after so many years without. That's over now and its time to move on. I need time to heal old wounds and become comfortable with being alone again. Going to be single again at 46. The things that have kept me sane are my faith and working out every day without fail. After being in such a tense relationship my first goal is to learn how to relax and not be hyper all the time. After that who knows...... Alot of the posts on this board have let me know that what I'm going through, especially after the second relationship, is normal and I'm making good progress.
notmakingsense Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Welcome Rich -- it sounds like you are doing really well. I can understand why the divorce is no problem , and the rebound relationship -- well it is too bad, but at least you sound like you are moving on in the right ways. 46 and single is great, just keep yourself active and out there, and you will run in to plenty of great women.
Author RichC Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 I have my up and down days but at least I have a plan.
Recommended Posts