Texan Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I've been talking to a lady via MySpace and several phones calls over the past few months. (For the sake of this post, I'll just refer to her as K.) There was always attraction, but I never acted on it because I had a thing for a local friend. The local friend was recently told about how I felt and it appears that the friendship has ended... NC since I told her despite her voiced desire to remain friends. This weekend I got a call from K. We talked about all the stuff that has been going on in our lives over the last couple of weeks since we last spoke. I told her about my recently ended friendship and she was very sympathetic. Then, to my surprise, she asked why I'd never tried to come down to visit her. (We only live about 3 hours from one another. She's just over the border between Texas and Louisiana.) I was honest and told her that I didn't want to start something with her knowing that I had feelings for the other woman locally. She thought about it for a minute and asked me to come down next weekend. Her reasoning was that, because we do have so much attraction between us and the history of MySpace and phones calls, we should meet and see if there was a spark there. I thought about it and have decided to go down next weekend. I have no expectations beyond going to meet a friend and seeing what might develop. I booked a hotel room for myself (she had invited me to stay in the spare room, but I thought this was a bit much at this point) and plan to meet for dinner and dancing Saturday evening; should be fun and I'm looking forward to it. I guess I'm just curious as to whether or not this is too far off-the-wall. I certainly wasn't expecting it, but was pleasantly surprised by the invitation to visit. For me it is rare that a very attractive woman would make such an invitation. I guess I'm looking for some opinions here. Ladies, is this something you would do and, if so, what's the reasoning behind it? Thanks in advance. Also, I've taken the plunge and become a suscribed member here. I've found many great opinions and well thought out discussions here. Well worth the meager cost of a suscribed membership.
BabyPhoenix Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I guess I'm just curious as to whether or not this is too far off-the-wall. I certainly wasn't expecting it, but was pleasantly surprised by the invitation to visit. For me it is rare that a very attractive woman would make such an invitation. I guess I'm looking for some opinions here. Ladies, is this something you would do and, if so, what's the reasoning behind it? The reason may be that she wants to get to know you in real life, so that she doesn't continue to waste her time on you in a virtual relationship that is leading nowhere. She may want to ascertain if there is a future with you in real life. Also, to be blunt, she may just want a booty call. Plain and simple.
Author Texan Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 Also, to be blunt, she may just want a booty call. Plain and simple. Jokes on her then... I'm not your typical guy... I don't jump for booty calls... call it an odd quirk of mine.
Author Texan Posted February 6, 2007 Author Posted February 6, 2007 Ok... been a week or two since I posted on this... Well, I went down that weekend... and we had a great time... defintely seemed to be sparks on both sides... lots of conversation... and I dropped her off at home without trying to nail her to the bed as a lot of guys try to do with her... she commented about it the next day... We've been talking almost daily since I got home (she's about a three hour drive from my place). We made plans last Saturday for her to come up this weekend to visit me... so far, sounds great... then on Sunday, it's like the brakes came on... I called a little before the Super Bowl (she was going to party, which I knew, and and she was all excited)... then she called me about midnight for about 20 mins... different vibe... not sure what to make of it... then today... again, calls me after work and we talk for about half an hour... she cuts it short, no explanation (not that it's required) and disappears... then I get a text message a little while ago... "love you, sleep tight"... My first thought is that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. She knows that I don't have a problem with her dating other men. We're not exclusive yet... although the last couple of weeks would indicate otherwise, but I know too that I need to take it slow... not into slam-on-the-brakes-slow, but I wanna know her a little better before I start thinking about committing to a relationship... does that make sense? Hmmm... anyway... I guess I'm wondering if this is just in my head or if this is a warning sign that maybe I shouldn't get too attached... Anyone have any suggestions?
BlueEyedSarah Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I think your doing well to take things at a slow pace for now. not jump into a relationship. I beleive thats where many relationships crumble is by rushing into something with one another.
Sweetie2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Ok... been a week or two since I posted on this... Well, I went down that weekend... and we had a great time... defintely seemed to be sparks on both sides... lots of conversation... and I dropped her off at home without trying to nail her to the bed as a lot of guys try to do with her... she commented about it the next day... We've been talking almost daily since I got home (she's about a three hour drive from my place). We made plans last Saturday for her to come up this weekend to visit me... so far, sounds great... then on Sunday, it's like the brakes came on... I called a little before the Super Bowl (she was going to party, which I knew, and and she was all excited)... then she called me about midnight for about 20 mins... different vibe... not sure what to make of it... then today... again, calls me after work and we talk for about half an hour... she cuts it short, no explanation (not that it's required) and disappears... then I get a text message a little while ago... "love you, sleep tight"... My first thought is that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. She knows that I don't have a problem with her dating other men. We're not exclusive yet... although the last couple of weeks would indicate otherwise, but I know too that I need to take it slow... not into slam-on-the-brakes-slow, but I wanna know her a little better before I start thinking about committing to a relationship... does that make sense? Hmmm... anyway... I guess I'm wondering if this is just in my head or if this is a warning sign that maybe I shouldn't get too attached... Anyone have any suggestions? Is it safe to assume that you think she wants more of a serious relationship than you do? Maybe you should talk to her? I don't blame you for not wanting anything too serious right now, but if you want the relationship you have to continue and be a good friendship, at least, then communication is the key, and girls appreciate that....
Guest Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Girls are pretty much all sluts. Guys are pretty much all opportunists. Everybody's bugging bro. Make your move accordingly imo.
Author Texan Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 Well, it's been an interesting month... shortly after my last post she came up for a week. While I did have to work through the week, we still had two great weekends and the evenings after I got off work. We found that we have a lot more in common than we even realized and when she left, she cried about having to go home. We both know she had to go to start a new job and handle some personal affairs, but we made a decision that I would come down in April for her birthday. We talk almost daily, working around both our work schedules. My daughter (age 21 and always in demand) made an observation that K (my current love/relatationship interest) treated me so much better than either of my ex-wives (one is her mother) and that "you better not screw this up cause I really like her". My daughter was giggling after she said that... I take that as a good sign. We both have many friends of the opposite sex and have no issue with the other going out for meals and what-not. I think she was really concerned about a particular friend that she knows. She has known R for a couple of years and they go to the local stock car races every weekend. I told her flat out... "baby, if I felt you and R were having a relationship, I'd tell you... we both have friends and I wouldn't expect you to stop seeing the people you know. I certainly would not want you to be telling me I can't see my own friends." This seemed to ease her concerns. She knows that I am friends with 3 (in particular) ladies whom she has met. I guess it all boils down to this... I finally moved on from my failed marriage from 4 years ago. It's taken a lot of time and effort to put those events behind me, but I did it. I've met a wonderful woman with whom I share a great deal in common. No, we've not been sexual yet, but we are both being cautious in that regard because we've both been down that road before in past relationships. Earlier today when we spoke, we brought up the possibility of her moving to my area later this year. (She has a sister in the area.) I told her that I wouldn't be averse to the idea, but that I was mainly concerned that she do what makes her happy. I think this is going in a good direction for both us and can see some good possibilities here. Anyway, thanks to those who have commented and given me things to think about, both publicly in the forum and in private messages. I appreciate the supportive nature of this forum. It's nice to have a place to share thoughts and experiences in this way.
Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I think your pace is a good one. Get to know each other before you dive in. If for some strange reason it doesn't work out, at least you might have the chance of acquiring a good friend because you both sound like you're level-headed. Three hours isn't too far away for continued contact for a gradual relationship to build.
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