littlepeanut07 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Does anyone know how to avoid being played when you really aren't sure that you are being played? And at the same time, how do you avoid assuming you are being played, when you are not??
Texan Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Does anyone know how to avoid being played when you really aren't sure that you are being played? And at the same time, how do you avoid assuming you are being played, when you are not?? The only thing I can say is follow your gut... pay attention to those little feelings in your stomach... I've learned from experience now to start paying more attention to those little feelings or voices because they generally turn out to be right... Just my two cents... (yeah, I know, it seems to be my catchphrase.)
IWalkAlone Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Guys can spot other guys who are players a mile away. Why do women have so much trouble with it?
Yamaha Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 A player will have all the right things to say to get you to succumb to his goals (sex). A non-player will be more unsure and less polished. Ask a lot of questions about him and see if he's willing to respond in kind. Players will talk to you but will give you little information about themselves. They will be witty, charming, confident and the kind of guy many women are attracted to.
stace79 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 We want to believe that the guy really is infatuated with us as much as he acts, but it's really just an act. In my case anyway, I'm so conflicted because I want to be trusting but I know better. Everything gets jumbled up in your head until you start believing the lies and ignoring the truths. It sucks being a girl sometimes. =) Plus girls are typically conditioned to want a relationship; guys want to play around and screw around. (Sorry for the generalizations.) Guys can spot other guys who are players a mile away. Why do women have so much trouble with it?
Walk Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 In my experience........... Signs he's a player: Doesn't really ask many questions about your life.Doesn't talk about his life, except in general terms.Talks about his exgf's badly.Talks about women badly.Only calls to come over. Drinks to excess frequently. If you're not sure, then wait to have sex with them until their actions have proven they aren't just there to use you. When you see a consistent pattern of behavior over a period of time, then make your decision. Their words and their actions will line up if they aren't playing you. Whatever you do, don't get "hot and heavy" with them, and then slam a barrier in their face. You'll be sending very inconsistent messages. Either you're okay with sex early in the relationship, or you're not. But if you want consistency from them, be consistent with what you're doing too. No heavy petting, then act all prudish about sex. I see too many women who pull that, then get pissed that the guy didn't stick around to decipher her extremely inconsistent messages.
Author littlepeanut07 Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 I guess there is no easy way to tell. I was with my husband 11 years and am newly single as i waited 2 years to even get to the dating scene and I fell for some guys sweet talking and well, he played me. So i don't want to be a niave next time although i don't want to assume either...make sense?
Pyro Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 In my experience........... Signs he's a player: Doesn't really ask many questions about your life.Doesn't talk about his life, except in general terms.Talks about his exgf's badly.Talks about women badly.Only calls to come over. Drinks to excess frequently. If you're not sure, then wait to have sex with them until their actions have proven they aren't just there to use you. When you see a consistent pattern of behavior over a period of time, then make your decision. Their words and their actions will line up if they aren't playing you. Whatever you do, don't get "hot and heavy" with them, and then slam a barrier in their face. You'll be sending very inconsistent messages. Either you're okay with sex early in the relationship, or you're not. But if you want consistency from them, be consistent with what you're doing too. No heavy petting, then act all prudish about sex. I see too many women who pull that, then get pissed that the guy didn't stick around to decipher her extremely inconsistent messages. Excellent post Walk. Could not have said it any better.
Texan Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 In my experience........... Signs he's a player: Doesn't really ask many questions about your life.Doesn't talk about his life, except in general terms.Talks about his exgf's badly.Talks about women badly.Only calls to come over.Drinks to excess frequently. If you're not sure, then wait to have sex with them until their actions have proven they aren't just there to use you. When you see a consistent pattern of behavior over a period of time, then make your decision. Their words and their actions will line up if they aren't playing you. Whatever you do, don't get "hot and heavy" with them, and then slam a barrier in their face. You'll be sending very inconsistent messages. Either you're okay with sex early in the relationship, or you're not. But if you want consistency from them, be consistent with what you're doing too. No heavy petting, then act all prudish about sex. I see too many women who pull that, then get pissed that the guy didn't stick around to decipher her extremely inconsistent messages. Another one who gets it... who'd a thunk...
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