LTMTM Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Hello everyone on these forum boards, I am a new poster here and most likely this will be my only post. I am not entirely sure what category this should go under. I truly apologize for it being terribly long. I have stepped into a strange situation that hopefully some of you may have been through and can give me some insight because all I can think of is conducting bodily harm at this stage. I suppose it is best to start with the background information. I am a LT in the US Navy and I met this wonderful woman through some of my friends roughly 2 years ago. We connected immediately. She is by far the smartest woman I have ever met, yet the most down to earth woman (I have done a lot of traveling and she has always stood out). The brief nights we were together, we laughed at Canadian jokes about Québécois and ignorant American’s, the typical unfounded stereotypes of our two countries and the politics behind the categorizations. She is Canadian and I obviously American. She, at the time, was an Honors Political Science student – clearly, I thought she was out of my league, so I never asked for her phone number. Fast-forward 8 months, I returned from an operation overseas and went to a b-day celebration for a friend, where one of this wonderful woman’s friends was in attendance. The conversation soon changed to this wonderful woman and, of course, I could not mask my interest. I professed how much I adored her in front of all – like a donkey’s behind. The friend then told me that this woman had a keen interest in me and was dismayed that I did not ask for her number. This friend called this woman the following day and gave her my email and phone number. That day, I received an email from her. I was shocked, and frankly, happy that she contacted me because I did not have the guts to do the same. I was always a jabbering idiot in her presence as she is beautiful (inside and out), funny as all get-up, and a genius in many respects. Anyways, we began a long distance relationship as she was attending school on the east coast in Canada. During her Christmas breaks and spring breaks, she came and stayed with me. I was literally in heaven and any distance was well worth it. The relationship was extremely pleasant until her friend, who was at the initial party, started having reservations about us ‘seeing’ one another. This woman was torn between her close friend and me (the new boyfriend). Her friend roughed up the relationship so to speak by instigating some rumors and we both began to doubt one another in the end. Ultimately, communication dwindled and insecurity was born leading to a split between us, along with a commenced friendship between the woman and the friend. During the split, we both pursued no contact because harsh words were spoken. Amazingly, even after we split we still kept all pictures and emails from one another – as if we knew it wasn’t over. We split for quite some time however, where she inevitably was snatched up by another man. Once, the relationship between this man and her was over (more-or-less a rebound), we rekindle our romance through mutual apologies and mutual understanding of how to avoid the mishaps of previous days. We have been doing wonderfully since. However, here lies the problem. The man whom she dated is a real nut-job and so is the company he keeps. I am not saying this as he is an ex and I would be jealous. I am not jealous of him in the least and you will understand why shortly. Further, I know she loves me and we are planning a future together. What I do mean is that he is a nut-job because he and his current girlfriend are fixated with my girlfriend and me. It has gotten to the point that I am forced to go to Canada to stay with my girlfriend, instead of her vacationing with me in my home town for fear of running into these two wackos. This man is also a military serviceman (much lower rank), who unfortunately has access to my background information because of his job, which he has ‘checked out’ because of his curiosity. So I have heard from other co-workers. I have never met this man, nor do I wish to. Sadly, we are stationed at the same place. His current girlfriend (who was his best friend when my girlfriend dated him) has always been a hassle throughout their relationship. It only lasted 2.5 months (thank goodness). His current girlfriend had also emailed my girlfriend pretending that she was this man when they were dating – from his email account because she had his passwords to pay his bills while he too was overseas, which we just found out. Since my girlfriend broke up with this man (in August), the psycho girlfriend has cyber-stalked my girlfriend to the point that she has removed her self from ‘myspace’. She had only met this strange lady for roughly 2 minutes – ever. Since August, this psycho woman has begun cyber-stalking my girlfriend’s friends who have remained on myspace using anonymous surfing tools (which still show her IP, so we know it is her). Thinking my girlfriend was exaggerating (like SOME women can do), I asked to see the evidence before I made a judgment. This psycho woman has hits sometimes ranging up to 8 times in one day over the course of 5 hours. If my recollection serves me correct, there was something like 80 hits in 2 weeks from the psycho, both at her work computer and this guys own house computer. My girlfriend rightfully snapped and sent an email asking him/her to stop this nonsensical behavior and remove all traces of her previously sent emails and contact information forever. She wants nothing to do with this man and regrets having ever become involved – clearly written in the email she wrote him. To which, he replied asking if it was okay if his current girlfriend continued to stalk my girlfriend (his ex) – WTF? He asked permission! I could not believe my own eyes. It is equivalent of asking permission to have your girlfriend run my girlfriend down with her vehicle. Since then, my girlfriend’s old emails from August to this man have been continuous re-read (latest mid-Jan) as she receives confirmation of readings. Her friends are continuously cyber-stalked everyday, multiple times. He has not removed her from his MSN as per msngeeks.com either. As you can imagine, these two people have a distorted mentality. My girlfriend has done all she can to thwart off the insanity through deleting old emails from him (which I enjoyed pressing the delete button, ha ha – great Christmas present). She has blocked emails from his address after she sent the initial email telling him to back off. His email contact information from address books and the phone number from her cell were removed immediately. She has canceled previous phone numbers, deleted her myspace account to rid herself of this psycho, and unfortunately feels the need to avoid my home town. I can deal with him investigating me and with his psycho girlfriend doing drive-bys in my neighborhood, but I have to draw the line when he and his psycho girlfriend make it very uncomfortable for my girlfriend to come stay the night with me at my house. My biggest issue with all of this is that she finishes her degree in intelligence studies and strategic warfare this April and we want to live together. I unfortunately cannot relocate as my aircraft is based from this location, so she will have to move here. I already own a home here and want to share it with her. I understand her fear of these two unstable individuals. What I don’t understand is their fixation with her, and as a result, their fixation with myself and her girlfriend’s. It has been half a year since she spoke to this man, it was only a 2 month relationship to begin with, he is dating his current girlfriend, and this doggy doo-doo is still occurring. Shouldn’t my girlfriend be off their radar by now? Any suggestions? A restraining order was proposed, unfortunately, they both fly under the radar in terms of intent to cause bodily harm so far. Thanks - LTMTM
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