monkeybeanz Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 OK so I met a guy from a Christian dating site back in September. We are both looking for the same thing. A serious relationship leading to marriage. We spoke every day until we met on January 4-7. I went to see him where he lives. He paid for my ticket and everything. While I was there we discussed marriage, and everything. Since I came back he has called me every day, and texts me during the day as well. We had planned on me going to see him on February 15-18 and were going to be buying my ticket today. (well he was paying). Anyhow he is an aircraft mechanic and for the past week he has been away on work. He has called me every day even though he has been in Mexico and Florida. Yesterday he called me at work and was being very sweet, but said that he had a little bad news for me, but also good news. He has been trying to get on with a larger company and finally got an interview with one. He has to fly somewhere for that, and would not have enough right now to pay for my ticket and the ticket he has to buy to go and his hotel etc. He asked if we could postpone for a few weeks. I was a little disappointed, however tried to not let him know as I am happy about the possible new job. He said that he is excited because if he gets the job then he would have his flights paid for and he could come here and see me more often. He was also talking about marriage and stuff, and things to do with the future. He then had to go as he was boarding his flight to fly home. He said he would call me as soon as he landed to let me know he was home. He said, since he is my future husband he wants to let me know that he is safe etc. and where he is all the time. I knew when his flight got in (and confirmed online), and he never called me. I waited a while (an hour and a half) after his flight got in and tried to call him. First the phone rang and rang and went to voice mail. So I left a message and waited a while longer. He also has a work cell, so about 45 mins later I called that and it was turned off. (it never is), and then I re-tried his personal cell, and that was turned off also now. I left a message there and said that I was concerned as I had not heard from him and his cell was turned off which I mentioned also concerned me. I asked him to call me today. He has not. I just texted him about 1/2 hour ago and made it light and said hello and hoped he was having a good day. Still nothing. This is WEIRD. I am not getting this. I am holding off calling him at the moment. I want him to call me. I don't want to seem like I am freaking out. I mean if he was trying to "break it off" with me... would be have been talking about marriage and stuff yesterday? And how the new job could help US? I am lost here and need some advice or reassurance or something. I don't want to jump to conclusions with him and seem like a freak, but it feels like something is wrong!!!
marree1 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Yes, something is wrong. You were communicating via text, phone etc and only met in person for 3 days! How can you possibly entertain marrying someone that you have met in person for a scant amount of time? Believe me, you cannot 'know' a person until you have spent ample time with them and experience the 'up and down' turbulence of any burdgeoning relationship. Just because he is a Christian doesn't make him less infallible. It appears that he is getting along with his life and might have second doubts about the impulsiveness of his promise. Your calling him and leaving messages will only create more doubt in his mind. If he comes around he will do so on his own time. In the interim, get on with your own life. Sounds like he is in love with the idea of love.
Arabess Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 I don't know ...but it sure sounds like he's either hiding something or has a personal problem you are not aware of. I'm not sure what I would do...but I think it would involve some background checking....even if it costs you a few bucks. At this point... you have to protect yourself...even if it "feels like" you are distrusting him. I would love to say that everyone on a Christian site is good to go....but I can honestly say that some of them aren't. But since that IS where you met him....I'm assuming you have the power of prayer in your pocket. USE IT! Go to your God and discuss this with your ears open and listening to any advice or wisdom available. If you need to....see your church counsellor or pastor for some personal prayer. Be careful....and be moved only by your spirit....not your heart.
BohemeRose Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Men can be very inconsiderate, even the ones who seem to be sweet and loving most of the time. A few months ago when my boyfriend was moving into a new apartment, he promised he'd call me from the new ASAP so I had the new number. I didn't hear from him at all until monday night (he had moved in on a friday)when I called him, because his mother had IMed me and given me the new number. He didn't ask her to, she just gave it to me because she knew I was worried. He had no good reason for it aside from he "was busy." We talked it out and we're obviously still together today, but I was freaking out at the time. Try and keep yourself as calm as possible for the next couple days or so. If you don't hear from him, let yourself move on, don't close yourself off to new possibilities of romance. If you do hear from him, let him know that you were worried and what he did was inconsiderate. He could have at least dropped you a text message. Just try to remain cool as possible. If he is trying to drop you, nothing will give him an excuse quite like you flying off the handle.
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