luvtoto Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 I know I would regret throwing the stuff out, so I haven't. Ideally I want to be able to look back and remember that Halloween or that BBQ or that day in the dorms without such strong memories of him. Someday, yes, you can look back and remember. But, during that horrible breakup/NC period, you would be a better friend to yourself if that box of stuff was out of site at maybe a family member's home that lives hundred's of miles away. Ya know what they say, out of site, out of mind.
KittenMoon Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Someday, yes, you can look back and remember. But, during that horrible breakup/NC period, you would be a better friend to yourself if that box of stuff was out of site at maybe a family member's home that lives hundred's of miles away. Ya know what they say, out of site, out of mind. That's why the box stays in the closet. I'm never tempted to take it out, except that one time, which was kinda experimental to see how I would react (not well, it turned out ). I think keeping stuff is ok, even good, in the long term, but you really gotta hide it well in the short term.
thatmatt Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 It does differ for each person and each situation. For me, it was best to remove everything, even break a few things. I had so much anger about the situation, plus later conversations with my EX had revealed that our time together really didn't mean as much as I thought it did, which made it impossible to look at pictures and such, because I would get really sentimental, and want to go back to her, and forget that overall I was used and taken advantage of. For me, it was best to get rid of everything. Now all I have to do is get her out of my mind, but i'm working on that!
luvtoto Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 Now all I have to do is get her out of my mind, but i'm working on that! You sound like you got it under control!
Salicious Crumb Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 I had alot of stuffed animals an old long time gf gave me.....they worked great on a bonfire.
Heartache11 Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 We broke up a few days ago after a 2 & 1/2 year relationship. I put all the sentimental things in a paper bag and stuffed it in my closet. I also took all the pictures of us and e-mails and burnt them to a CD. I then deleted them off my computer and put them in the bag. Certain things that I have everyday use for I decided to keep. But, I am having problems with letting go of a very sentimental ring he gave me two years ago that I wear everyday. Any suggestions?
Am4Real Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 It seems like I am in the minority on this one but I definitely needed to rid myself and my house of any tangible memories -- but of course it was done over time. Like all the posters, the things she gave to me or were remnants of our relationship were gathered (photos, gifts, jewelry, clothes, token items, birthday cards, love letters, you name it) and piled in a closet. I avoided that closet like the plague. A few more weeks passed and I would find another item or two and they would be added to the pile. When I felt I had everything I boxed them all up, sealed the box with packing tape and labeled it to my EX’s home address with a simple note, it read: “most of these items are fond memories of you, of us, and I no longer have use for them in my life under the circumstances. Perhaps some of the tangible items are useful to you or can be directed to your favorite charity”. And that was it, my ties were broken. I believe each of us heal and remember our life history differently. I have very good memories, but honestly, keeping those things even when I finally do become 100% healed will only make me wonder things, question myself, and perhaps drift into a semi-conscious state of what it would be like today. Worst of all, whatever these items are for you or me will likely hurt or make whoever enters our life next question themselves and their status against what we really feel or think of our EX’s. It would for me if I found an entire box of collectables. So far, this has worked for me and I hope everyone methods does the same for them. Am4Real Here is my post from the first page -- I personally didn't want anything near or around me. Memories in the mind are okay, but tangible items are reminders either to see or even as temptation to review -- no thanks.
Am4Real Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 We broke up a few days ago after a 2 & 1/2 year relationship. I put all the sentimental things in a paper bag and stuffed it in my closet. I also took all the pictures of us and e-mails and burnt them to a CD. I then deleted them off my computer and put them in the bag. Certain things that I have everyday use for I decided to keep. But, I am having problems with letting go of a very sentimental ring he gave me two years ago that I wear everyday. Any suggestions? Define sentimental. If it means you look at your finger and remember the day he gave it to you or you bought it togehter, then you're going to have trouble dealing with thoughts of him especially every time you look at your hand. My EX didn't have that issue. Actually during our last conversation, shortly after she flaunted her engagement at me she IM'd me two pictures of her (yes it was our ver last conversation and IM, she must have thought I wanted pics of her as trophies or something, ha-ha), anyway in those pictures there was her new engagement ring on one hand along with an expensive watch I bought her on her arm and a diamond necklace i also gave her at one point around her neck. She obvioulsy did not have any issue with keeping and wearing the jewelery, likely with little sentimental thoughts about the times they were given to her. In other words everyone is different in some regard. Do what feels right for you.
luvtoto Posted February 8, 2007 Posted February 8, 2007 anyway in those pictures there was her new engagement ring on one hand along with an expensive watch I bought her on her arm and a diamond necklace i also gave her at one point around her neck. She obvioulsy did not have any issue with keeping and wearing the jewelery, likely with little sentimental thoughts about the times they were given to her. In other words everyone is different in some regard. Do what feels right for you. Am4Real, does it bother you that she is still wearing those things? Just curious.
Heartache11 Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Define sentimental. If it means you look at your finger and remember the day he gave it to you or you bought it togehter, then you're going to have trouble dealing with thoughts of him especially every time you look at your hand. It is sentimental in this way. It was a gift I got for our first Christmas. He always acknowledged it and talked about it too. I realize I should stop wearing it eventually but I feel that right now, especially with the break-up being so recent, that I can't. I also sort of see it as a symbol of strength of getting away from his mistreatment of me.
Am4Real Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Am4Real, does it bother you that she is still wearing those things? Just curious. No, not at all. It's just something you notice because of things that were said in our break-up conversations (her still having love and feelings for me but going ahead with her engagement, etc). It just makes you wonder what makes "people" tick....but other than that if she garners enjoyment from these items that's fine with me.
Am4Real Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I realize I should stop wearing it eventually but I feel that right now, especially with the break-up being so recent, that I can't. I also sort of see it as a symbol of strength of getting away from his mistreatment of me. I understand, I'm sure you'll know what to do or not to do whenever the time is right...
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