shockandawed Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Hey guys, For some reason, I am having a difficult morning. Went on a casual date last night which was ok. Nothing more than I expected, but nothing less. Nice girl. This morning, though, I have been missing my ex fiance terribly. The weekends we don't have the kids are toughest because my mind races as to how she is spending hers with the new man. The thoughts keep coming to me that she is going to realize all we had, and has as much admitted it when we met last Monday to give me the diamond back. It's the proverbial I will reach again and she will grab. Of course she won't if and until she is ready. And knowing I am still waiting will not help that. The logical side knows that. But my heart says she is confused and too strong willed to come back even if she is regretfull. I miss her bad, and yes, I miss the life we had together. She really was my best friend as well. And I was hers. Give me the strength to keep the N/C. While we have been apart a month, it has been less than a week since we saw each other.
sb129 Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 What do you mean the weekends we don't have the kids? Whos kids? Who is we?
Author shockandawed Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 My ex fiance and myself both have joint custody of our respective kids with our ex spouses. Our schedules were set so we would both have the same weekends free. This is one of them, her daughter is at her Dads until tomorrow. She is probably having a romantic weekend and I am typing on internet sites.
sb129 Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 So whats wrong with that? You are still communicating with people and letting your grief out. Don't think about what she is doing too much if you can help it, it will only torture you. Do you have any friends you can go out with tonight?
Author shockandawed Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 Nothing is wrong with it, I was just being sarcastic. This board has been a godsend. Yes, I am supposed to go to a buddy of mines bar tonight. It is a small, friendly place attached to a bowling center. They are having a band, and he is wanting to set me up with a sister of one his friends. I do trust his judgement, but I haven't been set up since my ex wife 23 years ago. I am sure I will have a decent time. My ex and I went to a bunch of wineries during our relationship. I was just looking at all the bottles I have from them. Everyone one of them tells of a wonderful weekend together. I am not ready to start back at Hi, my name is... I still want to cherish the 3 year path we walked. It was still growing.....
lorr Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Hi ShockandWeed: The last thing you need is to be set up with another woman. Go out and enjoy yourself with your friend, and leave it at that.At least your making an effort which is a first step. One thing I have to say is to keep the focus back on yourself rather than driving yourself crazy thinking about who and what she's doing. She's obviously getting on with her life and you need to accept it and do the same. Now is not the time to be cherishing a dead end relationship and you need to take her off of that pedestal. I know its hard but continue with N/C and I promise you that things will get slightly easier(I mean its only been a week). As the saying goes "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
Teacher's Pet Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Hey Shock... Welcome to the club. The people here have, MANY TIMES, talked me out of contacting my ex. It's been about 7 MONTHS now of no contact, and it would have only taken ONE phone call to set me back to square one. Just by admitting you don't want to break NC, you are stronger than you think. I, too was engaged and then dumped. It's not fun, but it's a time to regroup yourself, and figure out what truly is best for you. You will make new friends, explore new things in your life, and reconnect with the greatest person of all - YOU. Trust me, things DO get better. -tp rah rah rah
Author shockandawed Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 Thanks everyone, I know you are all right and that is why I posted. To quit being sentimental and refocus on me, not her. Lorr, as always, dead on, thanks!! TP, thanks man, I have read many of your posts and know we walk similar paths. Your progress is definitely inspiration. Great group of people around here!!!
Teacher's Pet Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 TP, thanks man, I have read many of your posts and know we walk similar paths. Your progress is definitely inspiration. Why, thank you! I've gone from the point of "If she were to call me NOW, I'd take her right back" to "Well, if she showed up naked with a 6 pack and chinese food, maybe I'd bang her once in the old rump for old times' sake" -tp yeah, I would.
Author shockandawed Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 Why, thank you! I've gone from the point of "If she were to call me NOW, I'd take her right back" to "Well, if she showed up naked with a 6 pack and chinese food, maybe I'd bang her once in the old rump for old times' sake" -tp yeah, I would. Thats the laugh I needed today....hell, right now if Dick Cheaney showed up naked, with a 6 pack and some chinese food, he would probably get a romp...I'm either extremely hard up or hungry.
FallenTree Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 In the past, when I broke NC, this is what happens...I start getting hurt again when the ex may mention some girl or some event, yet I am no longer in his life so these things aren't affected by me anymore. Or...I start thinking, hmmm maybe there is a chance? Or, I get sad if he doesn't call for a few days after several days of chatting. Just a few reasons NC is way better than trying to be just friends.
Author shockandawed Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 Hi Fallen, You are right, there isn't anything really that would be said that would make it better. Well, other than a "I totally screwed up and will do anything to fix things" lol. I don't see that so what is the point. It would probably just be some awkward small talk that I would read everything into. Hows the kids? Hows work? I miss you, you miss me too? you do?????? I hope she gets a 3 month yeast infection.
FallenTree Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 haha... Yeah, I read into some things too much as well, then again, NC is the best idea. I know that sometimes when I've broken NC, the ex and I will talk for hours on end, then we'll remember old times, like talking about each other's beds and blah blah....Or then it's like trying to stay on subjects that are neutral and non relationship related, so that is ok for the most part, except like I said, when some other girl is mentioned or whatever. Or, then I try to mention a guy in my life, and he would get irritated. And, the miss me? thing...I used to want to say that, but what is the point? eh... Go NC!!
polywog Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Just read your thread and I have posted something almost Identical in the past few days. I am right there with you, and feel the same pain. I have only been NC for 10 days, and we live in the same house! Thank god for LS, and your thread & the responses has helped me today. And you have all my empathy. Anyway, if he showed up with a 6 pack, chinese food, and Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice and tp's xfiance I would probably do it with all of them for a chance to do it with him. pathetic. polywog
Teacher's Pet Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Anyway, if he showed up with a 6 pack, chinese food, and Dick Cheney.......and tp's xfiance I would probably do it with all of them for a chance to do it with him. pathetic. polywog Wow.... you'd go for a Dick AND a C**t? Tell her "The Captain" says hi. -tp take my wife...PLEASE!
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