IslandGirl73 Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 PLEASE SEE MY PREVIOUS POST EXPL. MY STORY: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109636/ OK, HERE IT GOES, AFTER OUR EVENING OUT TOGETHER...HE COMPLETELY CHANGED ON ME...I GOT NO CALLS, NO EMAILS, NOTHING...AND AT WORK THE FOLLOWING WEEK, HE DID THE ULTIMATE AND STOOD ME UP FOR LUNCH AND WHEN I GOT UPSET, THATS WHEN HE SENT ME AN EMAIL CALLING EVERYTHING OFF. I REACHED OUT TO HIM IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE TO TRY AND CHANGE HIS MIND BUT HE WOULDN'T. THE LAST I DID WAS I SENT A FINAL EMAIL AGAIN APOLOGIZING AND ASKING HIM IF HE COULD PLS FORGIVE AND GIVE US ANOTHER TRY...I ALSO TOLD HIM I WOULD GIVE HIM HIS SPACE AND TIME HE NEEDED TILL HE'S READY... THAT WAS 4 DAYS AGO-I HAVEN'T CALLED OR EMAILED HIM AND AT WORK, I TAKE DFFRT BREAK AND LUNCH TIMES TO TOTALLY AVOID RUNNING INTO HIM. SO I HARDLY SEE HIM NOW...BUT SOMETIMES, I'LL CATCH HIM STARING AT ME FROM AFAR OR WHEN WE RUN INTO EACH OTHER ON A RARE OCCASION, HE WILL TAP MY SHOULDER TO SAY A QUICK HI AND KEEP GOING... I DIDN'T WANT THINGS TO END THIS WAY SO ABRUPT, BUT I THINK MY ACTIONS EARLIER THIS WEEK COUPLED W/THE FACT THAT I'M MARRIED SCARED HIM AWAY... EVEN THOUGH I WAS COMPLETELY HONEST ABOUT IT FROM THE BEGINNING AND EXPLND THAT I'M STUCK IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE... AND NOW EVEN THOUGH I DON'T TRY TO CONTACT HIM, HE WON'T CALL OR EMAIL OR NOTHING...WILL GIVING HIM N/C AND SPACE WORK? IF I DID SCARE HIM AWAY, WILL HE EVER FEEL COMFORTABLE TO RECONSIDER FORGIVING MY ACTIONS AND TRY AGAIN? COMING FROM A DUMPER'S POINT OF VIEW, WHEN YOU ARE GIVEN YOUR TIME AND SPACE, IS IT POSSIBLE TO RECONSIDER THE SITUATION AFTER U'VE THOUGHT THINGS THRU? OR IS THIS REALLY FINAL FOR US? I MISS HIM TERRIBLY AND WANT TO BREAK DOWN AND CALL HIM SO BAD...:-(
whichwayisup Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Jacquesette, stop! Take a deep breath and relax. You're freaking out. The OM was never really yours to begin with, k and you're acting obsessive and freaky! You're posting ALL over the place too - Keep ONE thread going, that way those who ARE helping you can follow your thoughts in ONE place. Leave the OM ALONE. For your own sake. His actions (or shall I say NON actions) are telling you something. His silence means - HE isn't into you anymore. Sorry to say it but you need a reality check. You need to stop, take time for yourself, calm down and focus on your own husband and your marriage. Get some one on one therapy to help you cope better with the thoughts of the OM.
Author IslandGirl73 Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 posting all over the place? last time i checked, here is where we can come to for support.... i'm the one who told him i'd give him his space...how can u be so sure of what u said....
whichwayisup Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Yes, but you would get better responses if you made ONE thread and kept it to that, in the same section. Yesterday you started threads in two sections and afew days before that you posted the same post in 2 sections again. Well, then give him his space! Forget him for a while. Focus on your husband.
dgiirl Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 it's definitely easier to help someone if we can see their history. If you post the same topic multiple times, it's hard for people to follow what has been done in the past and what you are struggling with now. Also, typing in all caps is bad ettiquette. It might be easier for you to type, but it's definitely harder for us to read and it comes off as you screaming at the reader. In relation to your thread, what other choice do you have but to leave him alone? You think becoming all stalkerish and following him around and obessing over him will make you look appealing and attractive? Put yourself in his shoes. If you were him, what would make you look more attractive? Keeping your integrity or becoming obsessive?
lorr Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Look if your stuck in a "loveless marriage" then do your husband and yourself a favour and end things. For goodness sakes what makes you think that you can have your cake and eat it? If anything its a bloody good sign that the OM has come to his senses and is not contacting you.He's probably realised that he doesn't want to get entangled in some mess and is better off out of it. Stop being a coward and talk to your husband. At least tell him where you stand.
Author IslandGirl73 Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 i think i will take your advice, what other choice do i have?? and besides, what kind of tangled mess are we referring to here?
bubbalump Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 OY VEY! "i cannot and will not leave my husband since he has been too wonderful to me and also, i'd be ruining my daughter's family stability in her life...i could never do that." Forget the new guy for the time being. If you are not happy and want to stay together with your husband, you have issues to work on. If not, a divorce is in order. I don't think you will find too much sympathy for your situation on this forum, as you are chasing a man while being married. Best of luck!
Author IslandGirl73 Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 u don't think i will find sympathy from this forum? not looking for sympathy=just support...if thats the case, then whats the infedelity forum for? many others are out there who's in love with the OM and same situation as i am...i think it was a mistake joining here because too many are quick to past judgement on people instead of support... i know now what i have to do and despite my feelings for o/m, i know the choices i have to make. i know that soon he will be trying to reach me and start coming around me again cuz men are usually that way, once they're not chased anymore, they suddenly want to reach out and come back. and when he does, he will know what decision i've made and i will stand my grounds... yes, i allowed myself to have egg all over my face but this time, it will be different...this time, he will have to swallow the taste of his own medicine....thanks for reading/listening and the responses...good luck to everyone on their endevours and endurance.
Karma24 Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 I think that you are getting support...the "tough love" variety. It may not be the support you were looking for, but it sounds like the kind that you need.
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