Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 My MM used to take his off in earlier stages of our relationship. I questioned why he did that eventually - seemed a bit redundant taking off his band when I knew and he knew he was married... Now, he's separated but still wears it until Divorce Day comes. Does your MM wear his? How does it make you feel when you see it? is it a painful reminder or would you rather he wore it? Just wondering...extremely late at night...lol
puddleofmud Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 He never wore a wedding ring..until I accidently ran into him a few months later in the grocery store. (he doesn't even live in my town). He never saw me--but all I could see was the ring...my heart cracked wide open. I will never have any other picture of him in my mind but his hand with that ring-- and of course, that I imagine him w/ man-boobies!
Author Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 "Man-Boobies" LOL:laugh:
GreenEyedLady Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Well, that would have tipped me off that he was married (if he wore it)...so no, he never wore it...
BUTAFLY Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 well my exmm was engaged at the time. I think engaged men should also where rings... anyway, when he did get married He would approach me w/ no ring until one day he forgot and kept his hands in his pocket while conversing with me. Like I don't know he got married over the weekend. PLEASE he is so pathetic! When I see him all I see is that shiny new diamond band and it makes me sick
Guest Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 My MM used to take his off in earlier stages of our relationship. I questioned why he did that eventually - seemed a bit redundant taking off his band when I knew and he knew he was married... Now, he's separated but still wears it until Divorce Day comes. Does your MM wear his? How does it make you feel when you see it? is it a painful reminder or would you rather he wore it? Just wondering...extremely late at night...lol MY EXGF GAVE ME A WICKED RING AND I TOOK IT OFF AND PROMISED TO ONLY WEAR IT AGAIN THE NEXT TIME I SAW HER. I DID THAT BECAUSE THE VIBE FROM HER IS IN THE RING AND WHEN U ARE TRYING TO FOCUS ON THE WORK, HEARING HER CALLING YOU 'COME TO BED, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR BEDTIME STORY' IS A LITTLE DISTRACTING - WINK
erika2610 Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 MY ex-MM used to wear his ring. When I would see him at work, and see that ring, I would just crumble. And then he stopped wearing it for a bit, but then started again after they went to MC. I had an fit one night and told him how much it bothered me, and he just kept wearing it. I asked him to at least take it off while we were together, and he wouldn't even do that..
Salicious Crumb Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I have never cheated. But my wife cheated on me a few years ago and I am just now finding out about it. Needless to say I stopped wearing my wedding ring because of it.
freakygal78 Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 It's funny when you see flirty MM who think you may be attractive - say when you first meet them in a work situation or whatever how self-consciously they stuff their hands in their pockets or fold their arms so you don't see that shiny gold band first off! or even avoid exposing it thereafter as if they're trying to communicate 'you don't REALLY need to notice this'. the mm I was hung up on had a silver band on his left ring finger which he said later was because he was an atheist. WTF? still a little confusing don't you think? if i were in an EMA, it would nauseate me to see it on him as well as embarrass me if it were in public. when i was first separated, i stopped wearing my rings as the way i saw it was, it was curtains on my marriage from that point forward. lol at man-boobies visual POM, that's what I keep re-focusing on also.....any sweaty intimate fantasies can be blocked swiftly by uuuugh...hairy man-titties!
frannie Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Yes, he's always worn it. It's a plain band, but you couldn't miss it. I sincerely hope it's coming off soon. But I wouldn't have wanted him to hide it or take it off to please me while he was still married, because that would just have been ridiculous.
Author Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 I'm with you there Frannie, there's no point. His ring marks him as married and if he didn't wear his ring when he's with me I would think he was in denial of the fact that he is married. I'm hoping it will come off soon too...it's not pleasant to see, I admit, its something that reminds me of the promise that he once made to another. But I don't see the point in asking him to remove it - that promise has always been there regardless of whether he wore a ring or not. Lol - I think I would rather my H had a tattoo - no removing that is there? Pammy Anderson obviously knew her stuff...
erika2610 Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I don't think it's ridiculous. I'll admit, I was bothered after a while to the point that I would feel better if he took it off with me. I'd rather that than see his ring while I was sleeping with him.
MustBeLove Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 My MM doesn't wear his. Never has. He can't because of work, and he has never worn one.
norajane Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I always wondered how MM feel about those rings. They've got it on when they're touching you, stroking you, getting it wet with your, um, fluids (sorry to be crude, but I do wonder!!). Do they make sure to give that ring an extra scrubbing later? Do they notice it on their hand when they are playing with your breasts? Does it phase them in the least, since it is a symbol of their marital bonds? Does it give them pause to think of their wife while they are touching the OW's body? Guilt?
frannie Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I don't think it's ridiculous. I'll admit, I was bothered after a while to the point that I would feel better if he took it off with me. I'd rather that than see his ring while I was sleeping with him. But ring or no ring... he was still married.
frannie Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I always wondered how MM feel about those rings. They've got it on when they're touching you, stroking you, getting it wet with your, um, fluids (sorry to be crude, but I do wonder!!). Do they make sure to give that ring an extra scrubbing later? Do they notice it on their hand when they are playing with your breasts? Does it phase them in the least, since it is a symbol of their marital bonds? Does it give them pause to think of their wife while they are touching the OW's body? Guilt? I suppose... it's a physical symbol of something that is true anyway. He is married. Would it be any better or worse if there were no ring? I can't see that it would. Well... do you really need any kind of visual reminder of your marital status...? Does it really make it better if there is no ring... like you can somehow forget who you are..?
norajane Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I suppose... it's a physical symbol of something that is true anyway. He is married. Would it be any better or worse if there were no ring? I can't see that it would. Well... do you really need any kind of visual reminder of your marital status...? Does it really make it better if there is no ring... like you can somehow forget who you are..? I guess my questions were more about their feelings "in the moment". Like, I remember my former MM would hold my hand, and I'd feel the ring, and I'd cringe inside and let go of his hand. So, I wonder if a MM might, in the midst of sex, see his ring and have that kind of inwardly cringing moment. I've NO DOUBT that MM can easily forget his wife and that he's married while having sex with OW.
frannie Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I wonder if a MM might, in the midst of sex, see his ring and have that kind of inwardly cringing moment. I've NO DOUBT that MM can easily forget his wife and that he's married while having sex with OW. Hmmm well you're saying two contradictory things there, or two things that could be true... he cringes... he forgets easily... maybe even he knows and knows what he's doing and accepts it for what it is and that he's doing something he can't reconcile. ... who knows. You still were with him, even if you let his hand drop..? How did that happen...?
Curmudgeon Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Well, I'm a married man and I have never taken off my wedding band in the 10 years I've been married to my wife. Of course, it helps that I'm my wife's MM and no one else's.
frannie Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Well, I'm a married man and I have never taken off my wedding band in the 10 years I've been married to my wife. Of course, it helps that I'm my wife's MM and no one else's. I hate to break this to you... you're a H, not a MM....
pricillia Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 He is a MM which makes him a husband, but the difference is he is not cheating.
norajane Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Hmmm well you're saying two contradictory things there, or two things that could be true... he cringes... he forgets easily... maybe even he knows and knows what he's doing and accepts it for what it is and that he's doing something he can't reconcile. ... who knows. You still were with him, even if you let his hand drop..? How did that happen...? I think I'm not explaining it well. I'll try again. Yes, I believe it's easy for a MM to forget his wife and marriage while having sex with OW. So, I wonder if he catches a glimpse of his ring while in the midst of the sex, if that makes him pause for a moment and remember... I was involved with a MM who was unofficially separated. So, we were physcially affectionate, emotionally intimate, but stopped just short of having sex. I had a lot of anxiety about being with him - I felt I couldn't have a "real" relationship with him while he was half-in and half-out of his marriage. And I knew if we crossed the line into sex, I'd be lost and have a really, really hard time finding my way out if they didn't end up divorcing. He knew I had issues with him still being married, so it didn't surprise him when I would drop his hand and be upset from time to time. Eventually, I did end it. And now, 4 years later, he's finally divorced, but I'm not in love with him anymore.
frannie Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I am a man and I'm also married! lol... I see that, but a MM is someone who is married and involved with someone else... now don't go begging for that designation... you're a H. Hmm... well, unless it's your wife typing, and then you'd be a WS... oh... so many things to aspire to
frannie Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Yes, I believe it's easy for a MM to forget his wife and marriage while having sex with OW. So, I wonder if he catches a glimpse of his ring while in the midst of the sex, if that makes him pause for a moment and remember... Who is this 'a MM' ..? your MM..? Of course it's easy for people to forget in the heat of the moment or whatever. But you are talking here about you... all guilty and worried and feeling the ring on the finger and feeling bad... and presumably your MM didn't get that feeling..? So now all MM are easily able to just ignore the ring and what it stands for..? Who knows..? No one can say what a situation, a ring, means to anyone... whether they look at it, notice it, feel anything about it. I think this is so much supposition.
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