chill chic Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 If the guy thought that the girl was out of his league (above & beyond him) does he automatically try to put the girl in the booty call category? Just wondering if a guy thought that the girl deserved better, would he still try to weasel his way into getting into the girl's pants, thinking that he will never form a meaningful connection? Is that what booty calls are all about? Link to post Share on other sites
insomnie Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I would say absolutley not. If the guy thought the girl was out of his league, he would either try even harder than usual to "get" her (and not just for sex), or he would be fearful of approaching her because of the high probability of rejection. Booty calls are for when a guy thinks you're good enough to ****, but not good enough to have a relationship with because relationships require some giving and in his eyes you are not "worth" it. In my opinion unless you feel the same way about him this relaitonship will not work becuase the inherent lack of respect will be hurtful. Of course, booty calls often are also about commitment-phobia and an inability to have true intimacy with anyone...but those are huge issues completley out of your control. You cannot fix him. In any case, I think the answer to your question is no. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I don't even look girls who are out of my league in the eyes. I just say "yes ma'am" "no ma'am" with my head turned to the dirt Link to post Share on other sites
lone she-wolf Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Hummm......Well, I have to admit that I have thought this before. It's like you are too smart, but you still look good, so "bagging" you would bring HIM up on the cool scale, eventhough he knows he can't keep up in the long run. Sorry if I sound rude, but I have thought I've seen this too. I'm just sayin' Link to post Share on other sites
Poboy Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 If the guy thought that the girl was out of his league (above & beyond him) does he automatically try to put the girl in the booty call category? Just wondering if a guy thought that the girl deserved better, would he still try to weasel his way into getting into the girl's pants, thinking that he will never form a meaningful connection? Is that what booty calls are all about? booty call is just for sex , a girl being in league or out of it doesnt come into the picture ... it could be any girl. automatically is a wrong word ... im sure there are guys who wouldnt want the chance of scoring with a chick get away even if she is isnt in his league acc to him. getting some is better then nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
insomnie Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Hummm......Well, I have to admit that I have thought this before. It's like you are too smart, but you still look good, so "bagging" you would bring HIM up on the cool scale, eventhough he knows he can't keep up in the long run. Sorry if I sound rude, but I have thought I've seen this too. I'm just sayin' Interesting. I never thought of it that way but actually that makes a lot of sense. I think it's best to stay away form guys who think this way though. Link to post Share on other sites
NineGirl Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Guys are just always looking for someone that seems like a challenge! They love that s**t! Link to post Share on other sites
insomnie Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Hummm......Well, I have to admit that I have thought this before. It's like you are too smart, but you still look good, so "bagging" you would bring HIM up on the cool scale, eventhough he knows he can't keep up in the long run. Sorry if I sound rude, but I have thought I've seen this too. I'm just sayin' Interesting. I never thought of it that way but actually that makes a lot of sense. I think it's best to stay away form guys who think this way though. Or really any guy who just wants you as a booty-call, unless you honestly want the same thing. Too many issues otherwise...and chill chic, I don't know which guy you are talking about here, but it seems many of your posts revolve around trying to bring out the real him out of whatever guy you are with. Trying to delve into his mind, figure out what he is thinking and *really* feeling and subtley trying to get him to change his behaivior becuase you know he has it in him. You gotta understand that men especially don't want to be changed, and that undertaking a project with many issues is not healthy, nor will it ever lead to a happy fulfilling relationship. Don't try to find excuses for why he isn't giving you all you want emotionally. It's because he's not the right person for you, plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I would say absolutley not. If the guy thought the girl was out of his league, he would either try even harder than usual to "get" her (and not just for sex), or he would be fearful of approaching her because of the high probability of rejection. Booty calls are for when a guy thinks you're good enough to ****, but not good enough to have a relationship with because relationships require some giving and in his eyes you are not "worth" it. In my opinion unless you feel the same way about him this relaitonship will not work becuase the inherent lack of respect will be hurtful. Of course, booty calls often are also about commitment-phobia and an inability to have true intimacy with anyone...but those are huge issues completley out of your control. You cannot fix him. In any case, I think the answer to your question is no. Exactly... girls if you are on booty call then you can assume that the guy sees you as something less then what he could get. If you think otherwise then you are just fooling yourself. Sorry... Link to post Share on other sites
littlepeanut07 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Recently i was told that i was way out of this guys league...and i didn't feel that way at all, he was a nice looking, strong, funny man. I was more than willing to give him a chance, but he kept saying i would never stay with him and i kept staying, give it a chance!! In any event, after i slept with him, he backed off to the point of me finding him on match.com on a Friday night!! LAME!! Link to post Share on other sites
Texan Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Interesting how people seem to place so much social value on whether or not you are in their league or not... The way I figure, it doesn't matter... if you're two good-hearted people and you get along great, who says you can't spend time getting to know one another. If he's worried about the fact that he cannot afford places that you normally go, but you're fine with just BEING with him, who cares? I guess it all comes down to being comfortable with yourself... and let the chips fall where they may... Just my two cents... (anyone wanna go for a nickel?) Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I know many women who only want to use a guy for a booty call so it works both ways. To answer your question, if a guy is attracted to you he will want sex and if he likes you as a person then he will want a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I don't even look girls who are out of my league in the eyes. I just say "yes ma'am" "no ma'am" with my head turned to the dirt I think that's a slight overreaction. There are other ways to show respect. Have you thought about kissing their hand, and then saying, "That's as far as I'm gonna get, right?" Link to post Share on other sites
littlepeanut07 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 i think either two people are meant to be together or they are not, you never can tell how a situation is going to work out. Link to post Share on other sites
AwkwardMan Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Nope. Typically with girls (that I like) out of my league I'll flirt with friendlily and take their obvious signals that they aren't interested. If they're nice I might become friends with them. But if I was hooking up with a girl I thought was out of my league, booty calls would be definitely a low priority and I'd presumably be trying to pursue a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
HennyPenny Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I would think it would be a huge blow to the self-esteem to be in a position with someone where they use you until they can get "something better." I understand men think differently than women and might not see it this way, but I've known men in such situations and I can't help but think they're being hurt by it. I used to think that "leagues" were boldy drawn lines. That if anyone tried to "date up" they were only in for heartbreak and rejection. This is incorrect because we would have to assume that all people thought on league-based terms romantically. Not true. Some people really do get off on character and personality. It might not be as common, but it's there. There is no reason why someone should have to settle for being 2nd, 3rd or 4th best - particularly if feelings are there. If you genuinely don't care for this person and only care about boinking them for their looks, I can see why this kind of treatment wouldn't bother you. Otherwise there's no point. I have even witnessed the "higher league" person manipulating the Booty Call when he starts backing away from the situation because she wants as many people as possible adoring her. This is more than wrong. It's sh!++y. Link to post Share on other sites
Texan Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I would think it would be a huge blow to the self-esteem to be in a position with someone where they use you until they can get "something better." I understand men think differently than women and might not see it this way, but I've known men in such situations and I can't help but think they're being hurt by it. I am torn on this one... I've been in relationships throughout my life where it turns out she was really into me until the BBD (Bigger Better Deal) came along... and got dropped like a hot potatoe. Yes, it is a big blow to your self-esteem when the person you thought was really into you turns out to be the playerette you never thought she'd be. It happens. Over the past couple of years, I've learned to take more time qualifying women that I am interested in getting to know better. A pretty face and figure are nice, but if there's nothing inside, it's more a waste of time than anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 Well I guess I was thinking....if the guy never thought he'd have a good relationship with the girl, because he was too insecure, never thought he could compete with other men trying to get his girl, but needed instant or a continuous ego boost-just couldn't handle the "whole package" I guess that's where I see where he could just want you as a booty call- for a self-esteem booster knowing that he couldn't be the man he thinks the girl deserves...I dunno doesn't that make any sense? lol Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 I think I know what ChillChick is getting at. Personally, I know that many guys have GOT to think that I am "out of their league." The ridiculously attractive guys who I am still "better than" (for lack of a better phrase) HAVE pursued me for booty calls, but they have dropped hints here and there that suggest they are insecure - comments about my salary, my car, my social life, the things I have accomplished, my status within the community, etc. On occasion, one or two has succeeded in obtaining his booty call... and I think it did temporarily boost his ego. It would temporarily boost mine to "trade up" too, even if only for the night. But then the cycle repeats itself, and these guys are out seeking another "trade up" for that boost that they cannot find within themselves. That said, for the most part, when a guy is seeking just sex/booty call, he's seeking just that - sex. I'm not sure it's fair to say that a guy doesn't think you're "worth" a relationship if he's not interested in more than sex... it's just that he's just not interested in a relationship, either in general or with you. Whether or not there's respect/"worth" involved depends on the dynamics of the booty call relationship...whether there's open communication, honesty, and no stringing-along/lying/manipulation. Regardless, I think booty calls are best avoided unless you're Alpha or some other inhuman person who's capable of separating the inextricably linked repeated-sex and feelings. I catch those damn feelings every single time. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Regardless, I think booty calls are best avoided unless you're Alpha I had no idea you had the hots for Alpha. You go, girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 I think I know what ChillChick is getting at. Personally, I know that many guys have GOT to think that I am "out of their league." The ridiculously attractive guys who I am still "better than" (for lack of a better phrase) HAVE pursued me for booty calls, but they have dropped hints here and there that suggest they are insecure - comments about my salary, my car, my social life, the things I have accomplished, my status within the community, etc. On occasion, one or two has succeeded in obtaining his booty call... and I think it did temporarily boost his ego. It would temporarily boost mine to "trade up" too, even if only for the night. But then the cycle repeats itself, and these guys are out seeking another "trade up" for that boost that they cannot find within themselves. That said, for the most part, when a guy is seeking just sex/booty call, he's seeking just that - sex. I'm not sure it's fair to say that a guy doesn't think you're "worth" a relationship if he's not interested in more than sex... it's just that he's just not interested in a relationship, either in general or with you. Whether or not there's respect/"worth" involved depends on the dynamics of the booty call relationship...whether there's open communication, honesty, and no stringing-along/lying/manipulation. Regardless, I think booty calls are best avoided unless you're Alpha or some other inhuman person who's capable of separating the inextricably linked repeated-sex and feelings. I catch those damn feelings every single time. Oh my gosh!! I'm glad you understand what I'm talking about You totally said it, when you talked mentioned comments about your salary, car, social life, etc. Because that is SO true of what I got from this guy, he always made comments about that of me. But I could tell that I was pretty much there to feed his fragile ego. So in turn, even know a real relationship wouldn't work out because he felt inferior to me, he still wanted his ego boosted every chance he got, and I fed into it, and it was hard because I was the one who became emotionally attached, where he was just there for superficial reasons. So yah it wouldn't have worked out anyway, because we were on totally different levels, maturity levels really. So I totally understand, because you went through basically the same thing I did. Were you the one that broke it off? Or are you still seeing him? Just curious of how your relationship with this ended or is still going. Thanks so much for replying though, because at least I know I'm not the only one with this situation Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Were you the one that broke it off? Or are you still seeing him? Just curious of how your relationship with this ended or is still going. Thanks so much for replying though, because at least I know I'm not the only one with this situation Booty calls are NOT relationships. It was a booty call, that's it. I have no interest in a guy who's going to use me to feed is weeny ego. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chill chic Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 Booty calls are NOT relationships. It was a booty call, that's it. I have no interest in a guy who's going to use me to feed is weeny ego. Good point made, and that's how I need to look back at the relationship...what a waste, but it was fun at the time Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 If the guy thought that the girl was out of his league (above & beyond him) does he automatically try to put the girl in the booty call category? Just wondering if a guy thought that the girl deserved better, would he still try to weasel his way into getting into the girl's pants, thinking that he will never form a meaningful connection? Is that what booty calls are all about? If a guy thinks a girl is out of his league, he has a severe confidence problem. Link to post Share on other sites
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