Searchin' Posted January 19, 2007 Posted January 19, 2007 Hey all, Ex and I broke up about 9 months ago after a 2.5 year relationship. She basically left me for another guy. I initiated no contact right away, I haven't talked to her once in any way, shape or form since the night we broke up. She's emailed a couple of times and called my phone a couple of times over the 9 month period. Every time she has, it sent me back to the depths for about a week. I've developed the mechanisms to control my emotions whenever they start to get rambunctious. Though I still have my up days and pretty down days, I'd say I'm on an even keel (okay maybe slightly below even). My question is, what is the next step? I've been going out with my friends on weekends and have been keeping myself busy with work and working out during the week. When the pain, darkness and lonliness lays down with me, I do my best to shoo it away. Overarching all this though is just a feeling of meaningless emptiness like I'm just going through the motions of life. What part of the big picture am I not seeing? Do I need to find something I love? Do volunteer work? I'm sure there's no easy answer. I know I was just plugging a leak in my spirit with a relationship. Now I have to find a healthy way to fix the leak that doesn't depend on anything external. Any good insights on how to do this? Thanks for listening
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