dumb dumb Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 My wife just recently (yesterday) caught me having an emotional affair with someone I work with. Nothing physical happened, and I'm not in love with her, but I did phone her and text message her on many occasions the past couple of months. I don't understand why I did this. In the back of my mind I knew that this was wrong, and I did hide it from my wife. I kept telling myself that since I didn't touch her than I wasn't cheating. When the wife confronted me it completely changed in my head. I never thought about the pain it would cause my wife if she found out,it completely devestated her. I hate myself for hurting her like this. She's everything a wife should be, and I don't want to lose her. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to make this work? I can't bear the thought of living without her.
JackJack Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to make this work? I can't bear the thought of living without her. Tell you wife you would like for the both of you to go to marriage counseling together. Hopefully during your counseling WHY you did what you did will surface, and you will all be able to learn how to deal with what has happened. If your wife isn't willing to go to counseling or doesn't want to make things work, then theres probably not alot you can do. Hopefully for the sake of your marriage she will go.
InaPanic Posted January 19, 2007 Posted January 19, 2007 did you have the opportunity for it to be physical? I'm kind of presuming you did since you all worked together. Was it just of a flirting nature? the texts & all? If so, thank your lucky stars you DIDN'T go any further. Your wife may not have forgiven you at all then. But you want to try to make sure that if there is a next time you are able to get in this situation that it doesn't go further. Is she speaking to you or questioning you? Is she wanting you to quit your job? good luck with all.
umbo Posted January 19, 2007 Posted January 19, 2007 Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to make this work? Hey don't beat your self up over it you had limits and morals and it was nothing physical right? You should check out Dr. Ellen Kreidman "Light her fire" she gives you powerful ideas to put fun,romance and communication back into your marriage. Yes I am actually using it and seeing good results.
Author dumb dumb Posted January 19, 2007 Author Posted January 19, 2007 I did have the chance for something to happen, but I or her never persued it (thank god). My wife has been questioning me a lot but she wants to work things out. The other woman is relocating out of state in about a month so I don't have to quit my job or anything like that. I suggested the counseling and she seems up for it. I've got to make sure that nothing like this happens again. Thanks everyone for responding.
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