ViewFromAbove Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 I dated him off and on for 5 years. When I was with him, I wanted commitment, marriage, children, the whole production. But he didn't love me enough to want these things. I made a decision and a commitment to end things. I ended it last summer and had no contact with him since. Fast forward six months later. I've moved to a new city, got a new job, and built a new life for myself. Now I find myself no longer wanting the things I used to value. I live a day to day life and I find that I love the freedom. I'm doing things that I never thought I would be doing. I have friends who are much older than me. I hang out at bars on a regular basis. All the bartenders know my name...and my drink. The valet guys don't even give me a ticket anymore...they just park my car. I'm living a life that is unfamiliar to me yet liberating. What started out as a life of refuge has now become a default. I still think of him once in a blue moon. And when I do, I cry a little and then I tell myself to block it out. I'm getting pretty good at blocking it out. I've also learned to look forward to the uncertainty...not knowing what the future hold for me. It's liverating to not care. It's liberating to just laugh the problem away. A few months ago, I met someone. We dated but I held back. He left and I didn't care. I think I hurt him but I didn't care. Somebody explain to me how I can be so callous?!
CaliGuy Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 You haven't resolved the deep underlying issues of your past relationship. It's effected your total outlook on life. Have you gone to Counseling yet? Do you have goals and are they written down? Seems to me that you need to close the loop on the past relationship before you will be able to have a successful relationship.
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