Could he possibly interested

[Motown_Romantic]

Hey, I'm new here. Allow me to tell you a little about my dating life. I'm 21 years old and I pretty much have been afraid to date due to the fact that I was 120lbs heavier than I am now, and from 17 until now I spent thinking that losing weight and being hotter than the models was the only thing I needed to bag a decent man and acting a certain way. After dating my ex, who is a model, only to find out that not only was he a jerk but he pretty much planned out how we were going to break up, i've been thinking about alot of things and trying to figure out who I am and what I want in life.. so i'm pretty much back in the market and looking.

 

Whenever I would go to the club or a bar I was going looking for a man as opposed to having a good time, so basically my times at the club/bar was spent walking around getting "thinspiration". It was this past sunday that I went to the club (since it was college night and no school monday) and the crowd was pretty dead...I sat at the bar, got my drink and this guy (we'll call him Ryne) came up to me and we talked. I wasn't really expecting more than just a 2 minute convo and that would be it but it was actually more than that. We talked about what we went to school for, about how the dating scene in club nowadays is bull**** and how the fact that i have brains scares guys off. Well, my friends came and I went to say hey and he said "Let me get your number before you leave", well i would guess 50 minutes after, we danced, even when I was with other people we kinda ended up getting close together and talking... well it was that time to get the **** out and we went out side of the club (patio) and he gave me his number and vice versa, he also gave me his e-mail adress.

 

According to my ex... he blocked me b/c I was "clingy and annoying as ****" .

 

I waited 2 days after the club to actually send him something. I sent him an e-mail basically saying when I got home and what I was up to and wanted to just say hey. He responded back the same day. Now maybe he's good at responding to people,or maybe he just so happened to be checking his mail. but to me that's a GOOD sign. Basically he told me when he got home and how sunday was kinda dead and he ended it with "I hope you have a good week and I look forward to seeing you again sometime soon". As good as that looks in my eyes i'm not obsessed about it. (Go me!) . So I figured I would wait a day to call him and if he has a voicemail, I would just simply go " Hey, I'm just calling you to see what you are up 2 and if you are going back out on friday, but give me a call back, i'll more than likely be at rehearsal so just leave a message. I'll talk to you later. bye"

 

So what do I think about this? I personally think, after being in relationships where the way you got to know the person was how well they were in bed. (like the day we actually meet) and just after dating my ex I realized that conversation is how a relationship should start.. slowly. I'm aware of my clingy problems and I think i'm doing good in controlling, the thing is.. it's not like i'm planning wedding arrangements or anything, but I do feel like something COULD come out of it and it's worth pursuing. However, due to the fact that I want to prove to him and to myself that I have a life I feel like i'm not giving that impression that I like him, which I guess seeing as we just met is good. no? My gameplan is to pursue this as a friendship first as opposed to relationship so it won't be AS disappointing should things not go.

 

Now some people have told me he would've called by now since he has my number, but I tend to think logically that why would he want my number and give me his and his e-mail adress if he didn't want to at least keep in touch with me. I'm confused about this whole thing? Am I doing the right thing sofar? Anything else I need to bear in mind.

 

Anyhelp will be appreciated

 

Thanks!

[LN99]

First off, I hope you do realize that even if you are thinner now, that doesn't mean your gonna have any less of a hard time with dating then when you were heavier. You may attract more guys, but that doesn't mean you attract the right ones. Yes physical appearance does play a big part, but so does your personality. Maybe you were clingy...and that was a problem in the last relationship. But, also, maybe that guy was just a jerk!

 

Its true that you should take your time with getting to know someone before jumping into a relationship with them---or in the sack. As for clingyness, a lot of guys hate it, some love it. Some actually may think your not that bad compared to others. It all depends on the guy.

 

But, you should not change who YOU are to impress a guy. Keep this in mind.

 

As for him not contacting you, maybe he's been busy. I wouldn't obsess about it. In fact, its good that your trying your best not to. Let him contact you. He will if he is seriously interested. But, in the meantime, get back out there. Don't wait around.

[Motown_Romantic]

The relationship went on the rocks due to lack of communication... well actually that's what I thought, and now I just found out he basically made a plan of how he was going to break up with me and we could still be friends. So basically he was a total jerk and was I give him props for developing a plan inspite of how pathetic he was..

 

now that I think about it I was VERY clingy but he never, NEVER, said anything about it and i thought I was just being affectionate (a pet peeve is when people don't tell you enough is enough until you piss them off, when they could've said something earlier). And thewhole time I thought I ****ed up and I would've rather told myself at the time that I screwed up the relationship rather than accept the possibilty that he didn't care for me or respect me

 

I thank god for putting him in my life, and I say that because it opened my eyes BIG TIME about men, hot men in general, he's a model and I guess I felt like if I lost him I could never have anyone else like him and he was the best thing to ever happened to me and I realized that I shouldn't put that responsibility on a person but to put it in myself.. I find it hard after basically training myself since high school to be THIS person and telling myself everyday I wasn't good enough and that i'll never have anyone unless I lose weight. Also, he's the kind of guy that gets what he wants because he looks good and makes anybody that dated him and piss him off feel like absolute crap and has never been broken up with (He does the breaking up) However, I broke up with him, and to some extent I stood up to him and told him the truth (even though I really think it went to one ear and out of the other) and maybe by telling me what he said he felt like he needed to be superior and that I was going to be miserable.. but i'm ****ing not. having experienced that, I want a guy with a brain, a mature guy, someone who acts his age not his dick size.

 

With this new guy... from what little i've seen and our convo I felt like I could be the brainy mature person that I feel like I really am (not this fashion obsessed drama queen diva). I guess any guy compared to my ex is a messiah..

 

woo, let me go before i write an 8 page paper:rolleyes:

[Guest]

"She is obviously with you and where your thought process is flawed is worrying about men flirting with her or waiting in the wings for you to screw up. Neither impacts the relationship that you have with her. Let them flirt, let them wait. If you are the right guy for her, treat her properly, with consideration, caring and respect, why will she want to go somewhere else? You have to believe that you are worth her affection to trust that it will be there whether you are in the room or not.She knows where she stands with these guys and she is perfectly capable of telling someone if they get out of line and I if someone continued to behave that way she would likely tell them that she cannot talk to them. You are being paranoid. Men and women can be friends and this is your issue not hers. She has been honest with you and you need to recognize that if you trust her, what any man does will not matter because she knows she is in a relationship and will behave accordingly."

 

CONFESSION - I NEVER TRUSTED SOMEONE AS MUCH AS I DID MY EXGF. I FELT TOTALLY SECURE BUT WHAT HAPPENED WAS I WAS LEFT AND ENGAGED IN SOMETHING CALLED NC AND IT MADE ME THINK THINGS I NEVER DID WITH HER. I AM STILL FIGHTING THOSE EFFECTS. I HOPE SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT. SILENCE CAN BE HARMFUL.

AND I KNOW AND KNEW FROM DAY ONE THAT SHE CAN HANDLE THINGS - THAT'S A BIG TURN ON. BUT I HAVE SOME WORK [MYSELF] TO PUSH BACK THE BLACK HOLE OF NC. AND HOMESTLY, AROUND 4 MONTHS AGO I THOUGHT SHE HATED ME SO MUCH THAT I WOULD NEVER SEE OR TALK WITH HER AGAIN - SOMETIMES I STILL BELEIEVE THAT. ITS JUST THAT THAT THOUGHT DOESN'T MAKE ME SAD ANYMORE, I'VE ACCEPTED THAT AS A REAL POSSIBLITY.