Salicious Crumb Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Soulman: What's wrong with a woman who's dating multiple guys simultaniously? Oh I can answer that one. I was in a relationship with a girl long ago out of college. We weren't committed yet, and I was the type of guy that even though I have no committment, I only date one woman at a time. Anyway, we had plans to go out one Saturday night...I knocked on the door and her roommate said she is not here and that she went to see her ex-boyfriend a state away for the weekend. Monday night rolls around and I decided I wasn't going to contact her after that. She comes over to my apartment like nothing happened. When I asked her about going to see her old boyfriend...she actually had the nerve to get a little put off by my asking. She said, "its not like we are committed."....my reply to that calmly was..."I know, and thats why I cannot be mad at you, but if you want a committment from me, that sure as hell isn't the way to do it. And if you don't want a committment from me, then you are wasting my time. And thats why I am saying goodbye". Then I opened the door and she stormed out all in a huff. I restrained myself from telling her not to let the door hit her in the @$$ on the way out.
Salicious Crumb Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Hmmm. You should move to my neck of the woods. The ratio of women to men is 6-4, so there are plenty of great single available chicks who do not boyfriend-hop. On this planet?
Salicious Crumb Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Beauty does fade, but mostly unattractive women say stuff like that. You go ahead and date unattractive people, I am just not into that. I guess that makes me a terrible person. HA HA Maybe you can't find a good enough woman that meets your beauty standards because you aren't all that yourself. Thats like when Newman on Seinfeld told Jerry he didn't think his old girlfriend was attractive and that he needs "a really pretty face".....LOL
Kamille Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 On this planet? Yup. I'll even make the introductions... the situation is that desperate. I live in eastern Canada. It's a region reknown for it's part in the service industry, which, as you might know, is known to be incredibly feminine. Men have a tendency to move to Ontario for economic jobs or Alberta for construction jobs. Which means, more women then men. Great single women. I'll approach the tourism board - It could be our next marketing slogan.
Star Gazer Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Oh I can answer that one. I was in a relationship with a girl long ago out of college. We weren't committed yet, and I was the type of guy that even though I have no committment, I only date one woman at a time. Anyway, we had plans to go out one Saturday night...I knocked on the door and her roommate said she is not here and that she went to see her ex-boyfriend a state away for the weekend. Monday night rolls around and I decided I wasn't going to contact her after that. She comes over to my apartment like nothing happened. When I asked her about going to see her old boyfriend...she actually had the nerve to get a little put off by my asking. She said, "its not like we are committed."....my reply to that calmly was..."I know, and thats why I cannot be mad at you, but if you want a committment from me, that sure as hell isn't the way to do it. And if you don't want a committment from me, then you are wasting my time. And thats why I am saying goodbye". Then I opened the door and she stormed out all in a huff. I restrained myself from telling her not to let the door hit her in the @$$ on the way out. Okay, so you were upset because you only wanted to date her, but she wanted to be able to date other people UNTIL you were in a committed relationship. I'll ask you the same question again, what is inherently wrong with a woman dating mutliple guys at the same time? NOTHING. It's your own fault that you put all of your eggs in one basket before you knew how many baskets she was even carrying...
Salicious Crumb Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Okay, so you were upset because you only wanted to date her, but she wanted to be able to date other people UNTIL you were in a committed relationship. I'll ask you the same question again, what is inherently wrong with a woman dating mutliple guys at the same time? NOTHING. It's your own fault that you put all of your eggs in one basket before you knew how many baskets she was even carrying... And I'll answer again....I told her I couldn't be mad at her because we did not have a committment, but if she wanted one, she went about it the wrong way. So I ended it. It was civil and I didn't bash her for it. She just wasn't the girl for me if she wasn't willing to show me that I was important to her. And once I found out "how many baskets she was carrying", thats when I realized she is not the girl for me. So I ended it. If she wants to date multiple guys at one time, that is her choice, but its also my choice to see that she was too fickle for me. Oh wait...I'm suppose to be overjoyed that someone who is dating me is also giving it up to other guys at the same time....sorry...my mistake.
Star Gazer Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 And I'll answer again....I told her I couldn't be mad at her because we did not have a committment, but if she wanted one, she went about it the wrong way. So I ended it. It was civil and I didn't bash her for it. She just wasn't the girl for me if she wasn't willing to show me that I was important to her. And once I found out "how many baskets she was carrying", thats when I realized she is not the girl for me. So I ended it. If she wants to date multiple guys at one time, that is her choice, but its also my choice to see that she was too fickle for me. Oh wait...I'm suppose to be overjoyed that someone who is dating me is also giving it up to other guys at the same time....sorry...my mistake. So the problem was YOURS, not hers. She wouldn't give you want YOU wanted. Again, what's the problem from HER perspective? Obviously there isn't one if she's dating other people in the first place...
IWalkAlone Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Oh wait...I'm suppose to be overjoyed that someone who is dating me is also giving it up to other guys at the same time....sorry...my mistake. Was she having sex with the other guys? Or just spending time with them to get to know them better? Are you assuming to know the answer to that question. Having sex with other guys may be bad or not bad depending on your preferences, but it does make the picuture different.
Author kindred_soulman Posted January 31, 2007 Author Posted January 31, 2007 So the problem was YOURS, not hers. She wouldn't give you want YOU wanted. Again, what's the problem from HER perspective? Obviously there isn't one if she's dating other people in the first place... Right, the problem IS HIS along with any decent man. There's is no problem from her perspective because she is selfish and does not care who she hurts in her dating shennanigans. Any decent person knows pretty might right away if they like someone or not. So why is there a need to date 3 guys? I'll tell you why: 1) Attention 2) Free drinks 3) Free good times ( at the expensive of the guys) Don't piss down my back and tell me it's rainin'.
Author kindred_soulman Posted February 1, 2007 Author Posted February 1, 2007 Maybe you can't find a good enough woman that meets your beauty standards because you aren't all that yourself. Thats like when Newman on Seinfeld told Jerry he didn't think his old girlfriend was attractive and that he needs "a really pretty face".....LOL Don't think so chief... I find plenty of women that meet my standards physically, and then I date them, only to find one of the following is true: 1) They have a psycho ex that they love to bad mouth but still cling to 2) Can't hold a conversation about anything other than shopping 3) Are so uptight they dont know what fun is 4) Are partying so much their nose is bleeding Once again, don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining.
Sand&Water Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 RE: No. What I am saying is I would like to meet an attractive and intelligent young woman with no drama. Not someone who is dating 3 guys or is "seperated" or just broke up with her ex yesterday. Oh wait, I forgot - this woman does not exist, so maybe you are right. That is legitimate -within Kindred Soulman's standards. Thus: It is exceptionally easy to attain proof to support women-possessing-drama, but difficult to do the same for women-possessing-no-drama. Show me at least 5 women who don't participate and flow with today's trend. I am, probably, going to be hated or bashed for this -but I understand where you are coming from. You are just different. You don't want to be tossed under categories or labels. I, certainly, wouldn't be able to tolerate such nonsense. And, I agree, dating 3 men in a row is stupid -silly, if you will. Someday, you will find, a special woman that meets all your requirements. In the meantime, don't be hard on yourself. Because believe me, self-less women do exist. Sand&Water
RecordProducer Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 If see a woman pull out a pack of cigarrates and you step forward and offer a lite, is that an effective opening line? Excellent advice! I have a very difficult time getting dates and moving into a relationship Who doesn't? Join the club! I've dated a guy for 6 years, a complete loser that no one should even look at. Then I married another loser who didn't deserve me and dumped me. I had been single for years after the separation and the only guys who were interested in me would basically offend me by making any advances - they were such losers thta I started asking myself seriously what's so wrong with me that I get some married creep telling me that he only wants me for sex. I hadn't met one single person that I could say that he has some quality, just one single quality. Let's say a witty guy or a smart guy even if he is ugly and jobless. They were all awful in every way. Many of them were actually physically totally OK - THAT was not the problem. It was very frustrating. So I put my profile online and decided to find a guy from abroad (the same reason why guys look for foreign women on international dating sites). And I found myself a husband. Now it feels like I'd never been alone. So folks, keep your faith up. It's normal!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop beating yourself up about what's wrong with you. I thought I was defective cuz I was divorced with two kids and nobody wanted me. I thought I must appear like a total slut if these men thought I'd have sex with them. Men thought I should be flattered by their approaches, but the truth was - I was deeply offended and humiliated. Geez, when I was a student, nobody ever hit on me. I mean, some guys here and there would, but they were always the worst catches. The ones that I liked would not even notice me. I thought I was ugly. And I was actually pretty and still had such bad luck in love. And many girls who are pretty and young and nice and smart are lonely. It's just a matter of luck and chemistry. Mother Nature doesn't want us to mix too much and get lucky too often. You should look at being single as something positive - that's the time when you can meet the right person for you. Would you rather waste your precious time dating 30 girls in the next 10 years just to realize that none of them was Miss Right? The right one will come sooner or later. The more time you give yourself, the better choice you will make. Don't worry about the frustration over being single. Everyone has been in the same boat and got out of it. If you have sexual urges - hire a hooker!
angelbabylk Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Nothing wrong there. I like those myself and it's nice to know you have no baggage. Those are not that bad. The only turn off would be smoking and I wonder how far your impatience goes? If thats your in the picture then I would say your not ugly. Where are you meeting these women at? Online, bars, where? I agree with that. Sounds like you aren't a bad catch, maybe these women aren't getting the chance to know you.. Or maybe you just havent met the right one yet. I don't personally think that you should stop looking, then you may overlook one that is right for you, but that's my opinion. I say this, you should keep focusing on yourself for now, but keep your eyes open as well. From what you've said about yourself, you'll definatly find someone
Salicious Crumb Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 So the problem was YOURS, not hers. She wouldn't give you want YOU wanted. Again, what's the problem from HER perspective? Obviously there isn't one if she's dating other people in the first place... The problem from her perspective is, if she wanted a relationship with me...she simply f#cked up. So you may ask, how do I know she wanted one with me?...I don't know..but then again, if she didn't, she wouldn't have been so angry when I told her goodbye. So it was either she wanted a relationship and she screwed up...or she is just mad that she couldn't play one of her many guys.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Was she having sex with the other guys? Or just spending time with them to get to know them better? Are you assuming to know the answer to that question.. Even if I was just assuming, its a pretty safe assumption....goes to see her ex boyfriend for an entire weekend and stays with him....things that make you go hmmmm... But no assumptions here, her roommate filled me in.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Don't think so chief... I find plenty of women that meet my standards physically, and then I date them, only to find one of the following is true: 1) They have a psycho ex that they love to bad mouth but still cling to 2) Can't hold a conversation about anything other than shopping 3) Are so uptight they dont know what fun is 4) Are partying so much their nose is bleeding Once again, don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining. don't misunderstand...I can sympathize with some of what you are saying...but ya don't make a good case for yourself when you tell the forum you are all about looks.
stevranger Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Hello friend, I have been reading this thread for a while now and I will admit that I did not read all of it since I have just joined this wonderful message board, I felt the need to reply to your thread! Judging from the posts I have read, it appears that you are a young man who just got out of a failed relationship due to your personality. I am very sorry to hear about that. However, from your posts, you do come off as an arrogant young man. Again, I will admit that I did not read every single post, just up to about page 5 but that is the first thing that came to my mind as I read more of your posts. You seem to spend all of your time focusing on the negatives of things so you don't see the positives. That is quite unfortunate, and I feel sorry for you. Perhaps this is why all of your relationships have failed? You seem to get defensive if someone says something that isn't quite in line with what you believe/think, yet you titled this thread "ladies... rip me apart" What is the point of making such an open-ended title if you cannot handle what people say? You don't seem ready to be dating at all, as you come off as an immature, pompous, ignorant jerk. I dislike calling people names but I cannot help but feel that you are all of these things, and more. I highly suggest that you get more perspective on people and the world around you, then go date-searching again. The whole world is not out to get you. I will include you in my prayers, friend. Cheers, - Steve
stevranger Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Hello friend, After reading some of your scattered posts on these forums, I can sympathize with the women who left you. Just because you have a shoddy personality doesn't mean you can take it out on people in their threads when they're seeking genuine advice. It's a no-brainer as to why you're unable to find someone who'd consider you as something other than a piece of meat. Good luck with your life, I did not lie when I said I would be praying for you. I hope that one day your cold-heart thaws itself out and you'll become a person that people will see worth dating. Cheers, - Steve
serial muse Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 I never said I was looking for someone with no issues...... I don't think what I am asking fo is too much to ask. Every woman I have dated in the past 3 years was "seperated" or broke up with her boy to be with me. I am so tired of that. So I am just supposed to forget how evey woman I have been in a relationship cheated, or in some way got what she wanted and left? This "preconceived" notion I have didn't just fall into my lap one day. I refuse to forget and I refuse to be naive. wait, what?!? you've got to be kidding me. you're saying you CHOSE to date women who were already with other people, and then you're surprised that they turned around and cheated on you. and then you proceed to spout a bunch of crap about how ALL WOMEN (sorry - 95%) are to blame for your poor judgment in people. GROW UP. why aren't you accepting any responsibility for the fact that you can't pick dates for ****? this preconceived notion is one you have entirely brought on yourself, from what i'm reading here. i've seen no evidence that you've made an effort to find someone that you know, going in, isn't cheating on someone, sleeping around, dancing on poles or drugged out. i don't get it. why are you acting like all women are crazy when the simple truth is you seek out the crazy ones to date? that makes no sense. i'll repeat myself: STOP SABOTAGING YOURSELF AND THEN BLAMING IT ON ALL WOMEN. accept that you are responsible for who you choose to date, that you keep choosing to date people you really should know better about, and maybe things will start looking up for you. look inward for a change and wonder to yourself what is the appeal of these people to you - why are they the only ones you find attractive. why are you so drawn to drama? that is the question you should focus on, before you re-enter the dating world.
IWalkAlone Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Men thought I should be flattered by their approaches, but the truth was - I was deeply offended and humiliated. Geez, when I was a student, nobody ever hit on me. I mean, some guys here and there would, but they were always the worst catches. The ones that I liked would not even notice me. I thought I was ugly. And I was actually pretty and still had such bad luck in love. And many girls who are pretty and young and nice and smart are lonely. Reading stuff like this makes me want to pull my hair out. My dream is to be in a real relationship with someone who is both intelligent AND attractive. But too often when I find intelligent attractive women and try to start some sort of dating thing, they back off like I've offended them. Do they think I just want sex? I really do want the whole relationship, and for me, openness and intelligent conversation is just as important as good sex. I can sometimes make friends with these women if I pretend I have no romantic interest in them, but when I try to move it past the friends stage it becomes awkward and I become the "creepy guy", or they start a relationship with someone else. It's easy to say to guys like me "there's someone out there for you - you'll meet her," but that sounds hallow after years of playing this game and seeing others go through mutiple LTRs in the same time period.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Reading stuff like this makes me want to pull my hair out. My dream is to be in a real relationship with someone who is both intelligent AND attractive. But too often when I find intelligent attractive women and try to start some sort of dating thing, they back off like I've offended them. Well....I am not saying you are not an attractive guy...so the following comments are not intended for you. But do you notice that they are offended if the guy isn't very good looking? This video kinda puts it in perspective for me: http://youtube.com/watch?v=UZHcbcr3zR0
Author kindred_soulman Posted February 1, 2007 Author Posted February 1, 2007 RE: That is legitimate -within Kindred Soulman's standards. Thus: It is exceptionally easy to attain proof to support women-possessing-drama, but difficult to do the same for women-possessing-no-drama. Show me at least 5 women who don't participate and flow with today's trend. I am, probably, going to be hated or bashed for this -but I understand where you are coming from. You are just different. You don't want to be tossed under categories or labels. I, certainly, wouldn't be able to tolerate such nonsense. And, I agree, dating 3 men in a row is stupid -silly, if you will. Someday, you will find, a special woman that meets all your requirements. In the meantime, don't be hard on yourself. Because believe me, self-less women do exist. Sand&Water Finally a few people that understand. Thanks for your thought provoking words.
dropdeadlegs Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Well....I am not saying you are not an attractive guy...so the following comments are not intended for you. But do you notice that they are offended if the guy isn't very good looking? This video kinda puts it in perspective for me: http://youtube.com/watch?v=UZHcbcr3zR0 :lmao::lmao: gawd, I love SNL parodies!
Author kindred_soulman Posted February 1, 2007 Author Posted February 1, 2007 wait, what?!? you've got to be kidding me. you're saying you CHOSE to date women who were already with other people, and then you're surprised that they turned around and cheated on you. and then you proceed to spout a bunch of crap about how ALL WOMEN (sorry - 95%) are to blame for your poor judgment in people. Can you read? I can only date who is available and wants to date. 95% of them fall into this category.... I can only chose from what is available and what happens to be available is women who are attached in some way, cheaters and druggies. And no this is not a stereotype, it is a cold hard fact of what I have experienced. So if I never dated women with these issues then I would date maybe once every 5 years. It's not poor judgment, the odds are stacked against me to begin with. Poor judgement would be staying with these women instead of kicking them to the curb. And once again, I never said ALL women anything..... In order for something to be a stereotype you must think that ALL of something is a certain way. Please read, think, then post.
angelbabylk Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Sand&Water is right, self less women do exsit. Not all of us are cheating druggies.. (not saying you ever said that because as you stated above you never said ALL women are this way). Like I said before, just try to focus on you for a bit. You don't seem shallow or arrogent, you just know what you want. Keep your head up.. and keep your eyes open, as I said before. You shouldn't be bashed for knowing what you want. You've had bad relationships, but you can learn from those, which is clearly what you've done.
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