blind_otter Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 And this is a product of American culture. Why are there more bisexual women now than 50 years ago? Only because society accepts it and in some cases condones it. Feed the fire and it will grow. That's rich. There were lesbians in ancient Greece, dude. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 BTW, Being bitter and highly opinionated may be a BIG tunoff for many women. Link to post Share on other sites
ash519 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I have known a lot of men too who are in bands that are alcoholics and couldnt hold a job. My bf has been holding a job and he is good at what he does. And, he wasnt in a band when i met him. And althogh he could be tough if need be, he is the most kind hearted man i have ever met. Sweet and sensitive, but not a girly guy or anything. You and your stereo types!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindred_soulman Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 That's rich. There were lesbians in ancient Greece, dude. Umm does that make it okay? Link to post Share on other sites
IWalkAlone Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 As for the deadbeats...I am a 24 yo woman. I wouldnt want to date someone who is going nowhere in life just because they dont feel like it and i can tell you this...Out of i'd say 7 of my closest gf's, they wouldnt want to date a deadbeat either. And I can speak for most women when I say we want someone with ambitions. I dont know what women you are speaking of. If the deadbeat was good looking and a smooth talker, I sure some of your friends WOULD date him - or at least be his booty call. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Your list of pros is great. From your picture I would say you are attractive. Smoking is going down the tubes as an acceptable behavior period, but there are still millions of smokers out there. Have you considered quitting? I ask because it is dangerous to your health and would apparently broaden your options. I would have to experience your kind of impatience to know if that is a problem or not. I'm often impatient but expect a lot of "waiting" in life as well. You have no baggage. How do you feel about dating a woman with the type of baggage you listed? You mentioned dating someone (or more than one) who was married but separated. I see how that can be bad, they often are still licking some wounds or not ready to move on. I assume that divorced would not be an issue if she is truly ready to date again. But what about kids? Many women your age have been married and more than a few have children. I don't stand on either side of this fence as what is right or wrong, but what's right for you? I agree that sitting at home won't bring her knocking on your door, so you have to "try" on one level. But I agree that when I stopped focusing on finding someone, it just happened. I had given up on finding someone appropriate that would even be interested in a twice divorced woman with three lids at home. It happened in a bar, and I kind of knew him. We run in the same circles, know a lot of the same people so I knew his name and didn't have any preconceived notion of "RUN as fast at you can!" I didn't exactly see him as the one for me based on my few facts, didn't find him immediately physically attractive, but I liked his personality very much. He always seemed to be lighthearted and laughing - having fun. I found that VERY attractive. After a few hours of talking I was really smitten and knew I had to get to know him better. The first time he held me in his arms I felt like that was where I belonged. Weird for me, but I was wowed. So, getting out there, wherever "there" is for you is important, and taking people at face value and just getting to know lots of people helps. I liken it to networking in the business world. You meet someone, even if there is no connection, you end up meeting their friends, coworkers, family. I say this even in casual meetings because bars are what I consider pretty casual. I'm not really going there to find love, just companionship and conversation for a few pitiful hours. But sometimes you can find someone special. Of course if they LIVE in a bar, that's bad! Not much to offer, a few questions about broadening your options, a little of my experience, and a little additional info on "looking" versus "not looking." Good luck to you, she's out there somewhere waiting for you, too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindred_soulman Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Do you know when the bible was written? Yeah..like a billion years ago. A billion years ago the Earth was still forming a solid crust. The Bible was written over the last few thousand years, which is relatively close cosidering the infinty of time. Dont get me wrong...i believe in God, i do. But i dont believe in what the bible says. If you don't believe in what the Bible says then you don't believe in God, because the Bible is God's word. Being sexual isn't a sin. Coveting your neighbor is, same sex partners are, sex before marriage is.... All which are prevalent in our society today, hence the issues that we have. You too are dating a loser and I can see why now. Link to post Share on other sites
ash519 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Iwalkalone...i knew you were a man. Have I ever dated a deadbeat guy? Yes...i was young and he was very attractive and talked a good line. Did i have the common sense to see through it quickly...yes i did. Did i want him to be the man in my life...no i didnt. Men do the same thing. There are so many intelligent single women out there and they go for the hot girl with the big boobs who doesnt know where Africa is... But I am not saying all men, i'm really not. Kindred is just giving a generalized view so i am giving one back. There are kind men out there. Oh, by the way..Kindred, you said you had no baggage...what do you call this outlook you have? Link to post Share on other sites
love4ever Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Nope, it is immoral. Have you ever read the Bible? Apparently not. Maybe women did hide it more 50 years ago, but now that it is deemed "okay" there are a lot more converting... I'm sure the whole morality issue would depend on that persons religion. ... Not everone reads the bible because not everyone is a Catholic. But thats a whole another issue . Overall you seem like a decent person. But I'm begining to think that maybe the impatience you stated might have to do with you being a little quick to judge?? Perhaps try to be a little bit more open or letting some of your standards down a bit....without letting go of the things you find most important. I'd say try to get to know these women more before you dismiss them right away. I'm a bit similar to you in which I have kind of a list of things that I just won't accept from a potential partner. But at the point that you seem to be at I'd try to not be so bitter about things (even though I definetely understand, also have single for a couple years before I even found one suitable partner) because people are going to be able to read that through you right off the bat and that is going to be a major turnoff. I have no advice what to do meanwhile but I'm sure that after three years somehing or someone is bound to enter your life. Link to post Share on other sites
vocalstudent86 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 It sounds like you are someone who has high moral standards as well as certain things that are "deal-breakers for you" (exc. bisexuality). I won't disagree with you on that one. If a guy is bisexual I'm not going to judge him but it just means he isn't right for me to date. These women that are choosing deadbeat guys are obviously not the type of women you would want as a future mate. The thing I want to know is what are you looking for in a woman? What qualities are important or "deal-breakers" and what are things you would be willing to compromise? Once you have that figured out the question is to look in places and for the types of women you want to date. You seem to have a lot of great qualities so I think instead of examining yourself you should examine the women you have been dating. Dating just to date gets as old as being single for 3 years. You asked what you can do to change your single status...my answer is to figure out what you want in a woman and look for that, not just any woman who might come along thats avaliable. You have qualities many woman would love, and by figuring out what qualities you love I am confident you will be able to find someone who meets your standards and vice-versa. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindred_soulman Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 If the deadbeat was good looking and a smooth talker, I sure some of your friends WOULD date him - or at least be his booty call. Exaclty. Women eat it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Lol! Well if bisexuality is socially constructed so is heterosexuality. But that's not the point. The point is that maybe your confidence comes off as arrogance and arrogance is a turn-off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindred_soulman Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Oh, by the way..Kindred, you said you had no baggage...what do you call this outlook you have? R E A L I T Y Link to post Share on other sites
ash519 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 How is my bf a loser? He is 28 years old, has a full time job, makes extra money on the side doing the thing he loves (playing music), he supports himself, he is there for me, he has never and will never cheat, he is there for me whenever i need him. If you are basing this on the thread about drinking you are all wrong about him. He has friends and enjoys to drink with them. Doesnt make him a loser. Also, he has no children, has no STD's...which that and not working or owning a car is what you define as a loser so obviously my BF is the opposite of that so please enlighten me as to why he is a loser. You also said you dont think you are above other people...sounds to me you think you are Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Umm does that make it okay? Well, mr. sarcasm. You've obviously read "how to win friends and influence people." :/ You indicated in post #16 on this thread that you believe there has been an increase in female bisexuality because society has been conditioned to accept lesbianism as the norm. I was refuting your claim that rates of bisexuality have increased. On the contrary, I believe that the rates have remained static, but more people are open about their sexuality now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindred_soulman Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 You also said you dont think you are above other people...sounds to me you think you are I am above some people, just not all. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 We finally found the one human who can define R E A L I T Y for the rest of us! I can sleep tonight and read the bible tomorow. You have very specific ideas about society and reality. And like a few others I am wondering if you are looking in the right places for a partner. The church group idea does seem like a good one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindred_soulman Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 I was refuting your claim that rates of bisexuality have increased. On the contrary, I believe that the rates have remained static, but more people are open about their sexuality now. That's funny, how come my father and grandfather don't recall knowing any bisexual women, but I know more than I ever wanted to? Link to post Share on other sites
IWalkAlone Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Soulman: What's wrong with a woman who's dating multiple guys simultaniously? Let's turn this around... If you had been on one date with a women and was considering asking her out again, and then you met a different woman who showed promise and offered you her phone number, would you be obligated to pick one and blow off the other right away? Of course not! At this point, you don't know either of them well enough to make that choice. You have made no promise of monogamy to either of them (yet). In fact, if women believe you are dating other women (but not in a serious relationship), they will find you more attractive than if you say you haven't had a date for six months. Now think about it, if a single woman is attractive, smart and has her life together (a good catch), she mostly likely knows several guys who are interested in her and may have dated. If the two of you date and connect in a way that she doesn't connect with others, then she may decide to go exclusive and drop the other men, just as you would drop any other women at that time. If you disqualify any woman who has been on a date with a man they might date again, then you are eliminating a lot of desireable women, and the ones left over are likely to be less desireable. Regarding bisexuality: The reason so many women claim to be bisexual or bicurious is that many men go nuts over the possibility of being in a threesome with two girls. It can make a girl who's a 6 with B cups get the same attention as a strickly straight girl who's a 9 with DDs. The number of acutal bisexuals is much lower. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 That's funny, how come my father and grandfather don't recall knowing any bisexual women, but I know more than I ever wanted to? Because we had a more conservative society when your father and grandfather were growing up. Fewer homosexual people would be "out" in general. Besides, I would hardly call a sample of 2 statistically significant. I'm just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Have you tried expanding the type of women that you consider dateable ? I know people have certain tastes but expanding your horizons opens up your playing field to more women. Only looking for the Blond Hot Barbie Doll type or whatever your type is can limit your options.. It sounds to me that you aren't doing anything wrong other than picking the wrong women to date.. I have always been very discriminating in my tastes for who I date therefore partially eliminating dating women that I have nothing in common with or dating women that have deal breakers.. I have tuned my deal breaker snooper so I don't have to date a woman to know if there might be a fit between us. Remember that dating is a game of numbers...You will find the right one .. but you have to pull a few fish from the pond first Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Wow, kindred - from your first post, I too wondered why you weren't finding someone you were happy with. Your positive/negative lists made you sound great. The only flag was the "impatience" thing - which was vague enough that it could mean anything. But now, after reading your subsequent posts, it's quite clear what's going on. Because despite what you wrote, you do indeed have a great deal of emotional baggage. You are fairly oozing bitterness. I can tell you flat-out that that kind of bitterness - which you obviously feel very strongly, and I doubt you are shielding your dates from it as much as you might think you are - is a HUGE turnoff. So that's your answer, I'm afraid. I personally would not want to be judged by you - because although I nominally meet your standards, the fact that you are so intolerant and have apparently a pretty low view of women in general is a massive red flag. You haven't said much about the women you have dated - aside from what you decided was wrong with them - with respect to where you met them or what the attraction was. But it seems clear that you are looking in the wrong places for compatible women. You're picking women who you ultimately think very little of, in terms of their morality or taste in men, and then bash them for it. I don't get that. Why not go looking in places where you're more likely to find women who'll see eye to eye with you? You obviously have a strong religious faith - why not date women from your church or other places, with whom you're likely to coincide on these issues? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kindred_soulman Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Soulman: What's wrong with a woman who's dating multiple guys simultaniously? Everything. For one, who has time? If she's got that much time on her hands.... maybe she needs to do something. Also, dating is about getting to know someone. How on earth can you be focused on getting to know 3 people at the same time? I won't date any woman who is dating someone else. Don't need that. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 That's funny, how come my father and grandfather don't recall knowing any bisexual women, but I know more than I ever wanted to? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_lesbianism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_ancient_Greece Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 A billion years ago the Earth was still forming a solid crust. The Bible was written over the last few thousand years, which is relatively close cosidering the infinty of time. If you don't believe in what the Bible says then you don't believe in God, because the Bible is God's word. Being sexual isn't a sin. Coveting your neighbor is, same sex partners are, sex before marriage is.... All which are prevalent in our society today, hence the issues that we have. You too are dating a loser and I can see why now. Dude, if you believe what the Bible says is the literal word of God then the Earth didn't exist a billion years ago. No need to be nasty to people who are trying to help you. Link to post Share on other sites
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