IvoryJo Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 What should I do ? I am thinking of seperating from my husband and divorce as horrible as that sounds. We have a single family home in an area where the market has died. We would be lucky to break even money-wise. We also have a daughter together. Should I leave first and find a 2 bedroom for my daughter and I while the house is on the market ? I mean we don't have much money at all between all our bills? I just can't see how we could stay in the same house depending on how long the house takes to sell but we don't have $700+ extra for an apartment for me. There is really no where else for me to go. (as a side note we filed for bankruptcy last yr to save our house from foreclosure and have 5 yrs till that is paid off and then clear.) HAPPY NEW YEAR! What do I do everyone? I need help. Thanks!
Kinger25 Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 What should I do ? I am thinking of seperating from my husband and divorce as horrible as that sounds. We have a single family home in an area where the market has died. We would be lucky to break even money-wise. We also have a daughter together. Should I leave first and find a 2 bedroom for my daughter and I while the house is on the market ? I mean we don't have much money at all between all our bills? I just can't see how we could stay in the same house depending on how long the house takes to sell but we don't have $700+ extra for an apartment for me. There is really no where else for me to go. (as a side note we filed for bankruptcy last yr to save our house from foreclosure and have 5 yrs till that is paid off and then clear.) HAPPY NEW YEAR! What do I do everyone? I need help. Thanks! I think you need to speak to your husband about how you are feeling before you just walk out of his life, taking his daughter with you. If you open up to him and be honest you may find that you can come up with a "plan of action" together. He maybe able to help you to find somewhere to live.
Author IvoryJo Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 Well, we have talked and talked and talked. I love him to death and hope to god things work out for us. See the problem is ..he just told me he is bi-sexual and has been lying to me for years. I posted more about this in another thread. Seems he believes it won't stop and it would be soo hard for me to allow him to be with men when he feels like it. He says he loves me and god knows I love him but I don't know what to do. I would never take his daughter from him or hide her....I am not that type of woman and he is a great father. He is/was my everything and I feel very lost and alone right now. Just trying to get a better idea of my options... Thanks for the response.
dgiirl Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 Reading your story, I think you really need to talk this with your husband. Be honest and open with your feelings. Tell him that although you empathize with him, you cannot and will not tolerate him being with another man while still married to you. Tell him that you want a divorce and that you both need to sell the house asap, or he buy's you out. Once you get the house is settled, then look for a new apartment. Before then, if possible, get him to move out and stay with family/friends, or if you can stay with family/friends. Otherwise, get the house on the market today! I would not tolerate him sleeping with other people, and if that was his choice, he will not be sleeping with me. I'm not an advocate for divorce, but I cannot see the point in remaining in a marriage if one spouse will continue to be unfaithful.
tonyp56 Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 Well, if he is Bi, but wouldn't ever cheat, then work it out (I mean, no different than straight men being attracted to other women). However, if he is telling you "hey, honey, I'm Bi and I want to go have sex with men/I've had sex with men" then what do you think you should do? The same thing you would do if you found out he was having sex with other women, leave him. That said, if he would be willing to stop cheating (very unlikely), and you can trust him, then you might have something to work with. If he hasn't cheated, but wants too, tell him point blank, if you cheat, I'm gone. It don't matter if he is gay, straight, or bi, if he sleeps with anyone--man or woman--other than you, he is cheating on you. That should be automatic for everyone on this planet, but several people don't get it. He/she think they aren't cheating because of X, Y, or Z. Good luck, if you can work it out (he hasn't cheated on you, or is at least willing to stop) try it. But if there is a pattern of cheating, and he don't care if he hurts you or not by doing it, then I'm sorry to say, it is time to leave. Good luck,
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