my tragically wonderful breakup story

[Streetspirit]

okay guys, thought I'd share my coping experience thus far. To give a background.. my girlfriend of two years was cheating on me for a couple of months, and i was suspicious, i was even right about who it was when I found out what was really going on. I kicked her out of the house from the moment I caught her.. I didnt see anything thankfully but they were in my house when I was supposedly at work..

 

I know its really wrong what she did to me, and nothing I did to her deserved such actions from her, but she's younger.. and did a very selfish and immature thing. for the first year our relationship was long distance and I used to drive 2 hours to see her every weekend.. eventually i moved to be with her.

 

I was distant for a couple of months when she pushed me to move in with her.. I wasnt sure I was ready, and in the meantime, i did some bad things.. she's really vain and once she got all sexied up in lingirie and i ignored her and basically told her to go away.. that was the worst thing I did by far, but she'd always hug me when she left, and she would hang on too long and i'd pry her off me and stuff like that.

 

Anyway, I hung in there because I knew the feelings would pass, and they did.. and things seemed to be getting better... until one day I got a break up email out of the blue. It wasn't a "we're over forever" it was "lets be roomies for awhile" thing. so, I took it as "someone thinks I'm sexy so ima do them since I'm not married" it crushed me.. i begged and pleaded and it just went downhill from there... supposedly we were giving things another shot but she was distan tthe entire time and showed all the red flags.

 

I wanted to marry this girl she wanted me to so bad when i rejected her.. i hadnt seen anyone in three years prior to her and I was waiting for the right girl to come around. we're best friends.. i've never opened up to anyone as much as her. i wanted to protect and show her how beautiful life was. we click. she's like a female me its crazy.

 

anyway, since the breakup..

 

she came back crying like 3 days after i found out.. i was a wreck.. i took her back under the stipulation that she'd have to leave everything (she worked with the guy, so her job and him) behind. She pleaded that I give her a few days to think about things, and I said I would under the condition that she have no contact with him whatsoever. well, i found out from a friend that she did see him again, at a public place but that's beside the point..next time she came to my house we packed up the rest of her stuff and said bye..

 

I was a mess after that.. for a couple of days.. and she called me.. told me that she wanted to be friends blahblah basically trying to put me on the back burner while she does whatever..

 

I've gotten sick of that and started no contact. It's been a week and today I called her to get the rest of her stuff so she wouldn't have a reason to come by or anything from here on out. I can tell she was getting off on the attention and excitement of everything and her being without me is really working its magic.. half of me says man, we had such a great thing and it's sad that our lives together have to end. I bet if I called her and said lets work it out she'd go for it.

 

the other half wants here to come crawling back so I can tell her to go to hell. haha.. i dunno, i feel like if i just do my own thing from here on out, the past is the past and she'll never hurt me again.

 

We're so bonded.. the week without her was great because I could work on myself without her influence but I can't help but dwell on things.. lots of ups and downs emotionally. So.. thats it from here. she got the rest of her stuff. I told her not to call or email anything.. she totally doesn't want to do that but I insisted..

 

sigh.. what do I do? never look back? its hard.

(by the way she's supposedly seeing this guy now) makes it so much easier to just move on

[hardknocks]

that's what happens when trust in relationships is toyed with.. sounds like she has walked the line a little here. you have to ask yourself if you would truly be able to let it all go and trust completely or is it just the start of the crack in the windsheild that will just grow over time until ...

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Streetspirit,

 

Tough. Painful. Agonizing. Breaking-up is never easy.

 

I am sorry to hear. It is exceptionally difficult to sort through one's thoughts of hurt, reconciliation, and betrayal. What she did was wrong. Check. And, what's even worse is the fact that she is continuing to date the other man.

 

Nothing justifies what she did. Both of you did mistakes in the relationship. Can't deny it.

 

You should focus on yourself, healing for the coming weeks. Continue with No Contact.

 

But, ultimately, you will have to stick with a specific route. You, only you, can decide to welcome her back into your life or forever let go of a second chance.

 

Hope you gather the courage to completely -or, even, partially move on. Stay strong.

 

Good Luck,

Sand&Water

[Streetspirit]

I appreciate your thoughts and feedback so much. No contact is so rough.. and I don't yet know what it's like over one week. But, she has no excuse to contact me from here on out.

 

I don't know what to do.. I don't really have a lot of friends and family to draw strength from since I moved so far away to be with this chick.

 

Well, I do know that I put everything I can into it, and from here on out I do have to focus on myself.

 

She's terrified and totally against the idea of us not speaking anymore, but this way is so much easier for me.

 

So... I know a couple of girls I could have NSA relations with. Has anyone felt this is a good idea and helps the moving on process? I miss the physical intimacy, but I'm just worried I'll have a hollow feeling inside, as I've never had sex outside of a relationship, except for a couple of times with my best friend, but that's different.