Kasie272 Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 So here goes- my boyfriend of almost 3 years betrayed me. He was my best friend and i thought i was his. He had talked about wanting to marry me, he was that guy who always calls you when he says he will, who tells you that you are the sweetest most attractive woman he's ever dated, who says he can't imagine his life without you. He was hurt by an ex of his (the mother of his daughter) and he swore he'd never cheat on anyone because he'd been thru it and knew how much it hurt. He was worried about ME cheating on him at times even though I never did. Everything was good or so I thought. We weren't living together but we did spend a lot of time together and I never had any reason to suspect him. Until I found a letter that some girl had written to him about how she can't stop thinking about him. This letter was dated so I knew it wasn't old. I asked him about it and he said it was a joke and that he barely knew the girl, then she was someone he knew from a friend. There were all kinds of lies and all kinds of excuses. To this day he claims they were just friends and thats it. He says he never slept with her. But for some reason I never knew about her!!! He never once mentioned her to me. He lied and lied and lied to me. He told me he didn't know where she lived, that he'd never gone out with her, that he was just a phone buddy she called to talk to. He swore he was telling me the truth about everything. He wouldnt' give me any info that was accurate until I found out some other way. I found out that after he'd stop at my house, or we'd go out he would go visit her. He even took his daughter to her place. They would talk on the phone at least 3 times a week (even though he and I talked every single day he never once mentioned her). When i confronted him with this info he admitted it but only because he was caught. he wont' admit to sleeping with her and I have no proof but I do know that this girl wanted to be wtih him (from the letter and from how he said she got upset when he finally told her he spent time with me) he didn't tell her I was his girlfriend!!! He makes excuses and tries to make this girl seem unattractive and not someone he'd be interested in by saying she's too heavy, she's ugly, she's bitchy, she complains too much, she has low self esteem etc. Well all that didnt' stop him from sneaking around behind my back to see her!! he claims it was innocent and that he didn't tell me because he "didn't think it was a big deal" and that he thought i'd get jealous if I knew he was talking to another chick. In my heart I have no idea if he had sex with her which would be a huge deal breaker. But just knowing that this guy who I loved and felt loved me dearly, betrayed me by lying to my face about something that he'd NEVER want me to do to him just kills me and he's crossed boundaries that I thought we agreed upon so its over. I told him we're done adn thats it. He says its stupid to throw away the time we had just because he was TALKING to another girl. Well if it was so innocent he would have at least MENTIONED her once in 4 months right!!! and when I did find the letter if it were so innocent why didnt' he just tell me about her and sort of laugh it off, like yeah this girl has a thing for me. If he KNEW she liked him why would he lead her on by going to her house. Supposedly she is dating someone now and he said he will have no contact with her if I stay with him. but I'll never trust him again because who knows how many other times he lied to me before this! I never suspected him before because he was so attentive to me all the time. But I wonder what he was doing when I wasn't around. and I'm not going to waste my energy babysitting a grown man so I can keep an eye on him and keep him out of trouble. So its over and its so hard because I miss him. I've been thru break ups before but he was such a big part of my life. He was my main support system and now its so hard to come home from work and not see him. He wants me back and I"m trying to resist but it is difficult. My aunt who I was close to died in December and I"m still in the grieving stages of that. My best friend is married, has a 2 year old, works and goes to college full time so she doesn't have time for me, my close friend at work is getting married this summer and my sister who I'm very close to is getting married this spring so I really don't want to bring them down with my situation and although I am happy for them its hard to be around people who are happy and planning a wedding when your relationship just went down in flames. All of the rest of my friends are married or in relationships so while I can' talk to them once in awhile its not like we hang out (unless on group dates) because they are always with their significant others. We've been apart for three weeks and at first I was ok because of all the anger I felt towards him for betraying me. But I constantly think about him and miss him. All I can think about is the good times we've had. He keeps calling me and saying he's sorry and wants to work things out. But I doubt I'd ever trust him again but I' m tempted to go back just to get rid of this horrible sick feeling in my stomach. Please talk some sense into me.
Recommended Posts