DieselPWR Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Hey all, been a while since I've posted. Not that I have forgotten who helped me along the way, but figured that there are people that need real help right now, and that I didn't have too much to contribute. Figured I'd give ya a new years update. It has been 6 months since I last heard from the stbxw at all; no contact at all. I am too the point now where I can look back and see that I don't want her back. Too many things that she did would not "gel" with the new me. I am happier now than I have been in 2 years, and its amazing. I have been clean and sober 6 months now, have been seeing a great gal for a few weeks, nothing serious, I have told her about my situation and that I am not ready for a serious commitment right now, and she's cool with that for the time being. No, I am not yet divorced. I have talked to the ex's lawyer, and they don't have a date for the paperwork yet. The way that I have to remind them of who she is tells me that she hasnt been in contact with em. Why should she, I had to keep her on my insurance and now she has coverage without having to live with me. Win-win situation for her. She has been spotted with the guy that I suspected from the beginning. I don't really care that she's seeing someone, but it was kind of funny to prove my point to myself. Other than that, I plan on doing the filing myself If I dont hear from her by Feb. I just want to be done and over with, and move on with my life. Its amazing to look back at old posts and see where I have been and where I am at. Not to say, I didnt feel that way back then, I did. But I have been through some things, and now I am where I am. So, thats it for now, I still cruise the site on a regular basis, and post when I have something to add. But for now, I will be a quiet observer, but will chime in when I can. Thanks all Me:D
marree1 Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Congrats! Stay the course. It is amazing how we can be our own best friend or worst enemy. In my work I have to trust my gut. Your suspicions were founded and you are starting to move on. Yes, trite but true... time does heal all wounds.
ilmw Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Hi bud, Nice to see you back.... wondered what the Hel* happend to yah:laugh: Wow months... NC ... real nice... (her) Sounds like you are healing the write way... new lady but taking it slow... (2 thumbs up) Once again.. nice to see you back ilmw
Author DieselPWR Posted January 17, 2007 Author Posted January 17, 2007 I aint never went no-where, I just been hanging in the back ground; but I have a problem keeping my mouth shut:D I have done a bunch of little things that have helped in big ways. Like I said before, bought new bedroom set, re-arranged my house to make it mine. Got rid of all the old pictures, trinkets, and crap like that. Big thing is I sold the motorcycle that I had been wanting to get rid of for so long, but I wasnt "allowed" cause she liked it:rolleyes: And bought me a used sports car in its place. Life is definitly good,so for those of you that have recently had this happen to you, it gets better. I didnt believe it when someone else told me that, but a few guys and gals on here stuck with me during the whining and sniviling. Thanks!!
Delarocha Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 ...Big thing is I sold the motorcycle that I had been wanting to get rid of for so long, but I wasnt "allowed" cause she liked it:rolleyes: And bought me a used sports car in its place.... Damn, I want to buy a motocycle... Bad timing I guess. I need to worry about paying for a LOT of other stuff before I can get one. Haha... Congrats on your healing. Many of us are trying to get to a similar place.
Author DieselPWR Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 Damn, I want to buy a motocycle... Bad timing I guess. I need to worry about paying for a LOT of other stuff before I can get one. Haha... Congrats on your healing. Many of us are trying to get to a similar place. Thanks for the kind words. Another update for anyone following the saga. I am signing the paperwork today. Got an e-mail from my FIL that the paperwork is ready. That's right, fil, not wife. Just goes to show that she is not grown up enough to handle her own buisness, but has others do it for her but that is for a different day. Anyways, strange thing is that even thou she paid one lawyer for the entire thing, she has paid ANOTHER lawyer to do the paperwork. I truly will never figure out what is going through her mind and to be honest with you, It aint my problem. Hell, saw a picture of her on myspace and she is wearing what appears to be an engagement ring!! More power to her, and him. For those of you that are just beginning this roller coaster, my heart goes out to you. If you think that it will never get better, search my old posts from June-July timeframe. What you will see should open your eyes. Things do get better. The best advice that I recieved was from the caring people on this forum. Gunny, Lori, and the countless others that have talked me off a ledge. Care for yourself was the best words that I recieved. Once I started doing that, things came together. Can I say that it has been easy? Hell no! There have been many a nights/ days of tears, pain, anger and on the verge of rage. But as time went on, and I was keeping myself busy with many new and fun hobbies. I have always been a gear-head; and had an old race car sitting at my house for months. That was a god-send for me. I spent many a nite grinding, painting, welding, and building the engine. What did I accomplish? I built a race car from a pile of junk and raced it, on my own. Much like my life really; it was complete crap and I built and worked and worked until I am where I am today. It is a never ending process, in my humble opnion. I have definitly become a stronger person because of it. Not just emotionaly. I am more patient, and can appreciate the smaller things in life as a gift. I have a spot on an old army base that is perfect for thinking. I can go there, and just stare, and not have a care in the world. I cook, clean, and keep my house ten times better than it was. Really, I don't have any regrets for my marriage. Sure, it sucks that it had to end so suddenly, but at least there are no kids, no ties. I can look back and see things that others saw all along, and I now see. I have told myself I will never be treated like that again. Respect for myself is something that I have definitly gained through this whole thing. I have told the girl I am seeing; I am who I am take it or leave it. She likes me for who I am, not what I "could be" And when the day ends, and I lay down to sleep, I thank God for helping me through this. I am happy, happier than I have been in a very long time. I just hope that someday, I can be of help to someone like those on this forum have been for me:bunny: Ya'll rock. Me
ilmw Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Inspirational post DP... awesome... You gave a fantastic example of what keeping busy does for you... builds you up... Nice metaphor on the race car too... Keep in touch..bud ilmw
PWSX3 Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Hello DieselPWR, I haven't read your post but I plan on going back and checking it out but anyone that is a "Gear Head" is a friend of mine. It's great that you can share with everyone that there is hope for those going thru the same thing you have done. It's funny how we all start out with the same pain and we all feel it will never get better and it's the end of the world, but thanks to people like you we can see there is hope, there is life after this life lesson and if we look at it in a possitive way you are a better person for it. Thanks for sharing and by the way, it would have been a hard decision between the motorcyle and a race car.
Author DieselPWR Posted February 2, 2007 Author Posted February 2, 2007 Thanks for sharing and by the way, it would have been a hard decision between the motorcyle and a race car. Nah, not really. Something about breaking your leg in two places and having a plate and 13 screws in your leg kinda turns you off to the whole motorcycle thing. At least in the race car I have a roll cage, Hutchins Drvice, and a helmet to protect me. Plus I don't think too many deer are gonna run out on the track. But I have been wrong before. Got to get the car back together. Took the transmission out at the end of the season, then it got cold, and now practice starts in march...hmmm Peace all, Me
PWSX3 Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 Nah, not really. Something about breaking your leg in two places and having a plate and 13 screws in your leg kinda turns you off to the whole motorcycle thing. At least in the race car I have a roll cage, Hutchins Drvice, and a helmet to protect me. Plus I don't think too many deer are gonna run out on the track. But I have been wrong before. Got to get the car back together. Took the transmission out at the end of the season, then it got cold, and now practice starts in march...hmmm Peace all, Me I know what you mean, that is why I gave up the dirt bike and went with the Explorer, it doesn't have a roll cage (that went into my sons Samurai) but it does have a roof over me.
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