DuRaS27 Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Sunday night I went out to a bar and met a girl. It was probably the smoothest move I've ever seen in my life: her and her friends came over, the rest of them left as soon as her and I started talking. Within a few minutes we were dancing, and a few minutes more, we were kissing--later the tongue was initiated by her. We went to another bar, and then we went back to her room where we kissed and talked. She seemed to really like me, and she kept asking me what I was thinking. Well, I wasn't exactly sober so I didn't know what to tell her. So I told her that I was thinking "what is she thinking" and I asked her what she was thinking (she was far more sober as she hadn't drank in 4 hours, while I had). At first she had nothing to say, but then she said, "You know what I'm thinking? What's the catch?" I was a bit confused about this question, and then she explained further: "I mean, you seem really, really nice. What's the catch?" She was obviously looking for something wrong with me (which girls can never seem to find the first night we meet). I told her, "the catch is... I don't like Dispatch" (her favorite band). She laughed and said she could live with that. But she said, "it seems like every guy I meet I never see again or just is around too much." At the end of the night she gave me her number, told me I'd better call, and that the "ball is in your court". I know it's sorta' against the rules, but I called the next day and she didn't answer. I left a message, and told her my number and said she could call me back. It's been two days and she hasn't called me back. Do you think I've blown it by calling her too early, or have I just not given it enough of a chance yet? Should I call again? I live in the same building as her (literally two floors down) and I could easily just go upstairs and knock on the door (though I doubt I could find a good reason besides her for being up there). I could also IM her on AIM (I found it on her facebook--which is a pretty normal thing to do when you're in college I think). Of course, I've also thought she may not have gotten my message--maybe she rarely checks her voicemail. I think this is unlikely, however, but it's the main reason I feel I might call again. So basically I need to know what's my next step. Should I leave this girl alone and figure she doesn't really like me, or that I blew it, or do I try some more? I'm also thinking she might be trying to see how interested in her I am by making me call a couple times--but at the same time I don't want her to think I'm a creepy stalker. Anyway... need advice about this bad.
Poboy Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 wait for 2 - 3 days .. .call her again , if she doesnt respond then she is not worth pursuing.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Call her one more time and if she doesnt respond then leave it there. Her loss.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 i agree with the others, wait a couple days to call her back and if she doesnt get back to u than move on.
Author DuRaS27 Posted January 17, 2007 Author Posted January 17, 2007 So none of you think going to her room and knocking on her door is a good idea? I forgot to mention that when I left her Sunday night (which was actually Monday morning) she said, "you have my number and know where I live". So it sounds like she's actually inviting me to go straight to her room to contact her.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 She said the ball was in your court and you lobbed it right back (nothing wrong with that IMO.) Now it's in her court and the ball is hers to return. I would wait it out, regardless of knowing where she lives.
Author DuRaS27 Posted January 17, 2007 Author Posted January 17, 2007 So if I call her again should I leave a message or not? I don't want to be annoying and be like, "hey it's John again..." (John's not really my name, but I like changing names just in case someone who knows me ever reads this). I figure if leaving a message didn't work the first time, it won't work this time. I'll just call and if she doesn't answer that's it. Sounds good?
TheDC Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 I'd call her again but this time be more specific. If you have to leave a message tell her that you would like to do <insert activity here> on <insert date here> with her and that she should call you back. If she doesn't then you're off the hook. The ball will certainly be in her court at that point, if she doesn't even have the courtesy to call you back and at least tell you that she can't make it then you don't really want her as a GF anyhow.
gfto Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Sounds like a playerette who was just toying with you that night. I've seen it happen countless times. There's a 0.01% chance that she didn't get your voice mail and has no idea that you called. But, if I was betting, I'd say she and her friends do this with guys all the time; she probably listened to the message and just blew it off.
Author DuRaS27 Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 I called her today and she said she sent a text message when she got my voicemail--however I have that feature disabled on my phone so I never got it. She said she'd call me back and she sounded like she meant it. So now the ball is really in her court and I know that she knows it. However, I find it a really bad sign that she didn't want to talk to me just because she was with friends. Usually if you're really interested in someone you'll talk to them even over your friends. Obviously if she doesn't call me back then I just say screw it. Tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday I can just go out and find someone who will call me back.
CaliGuy Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 So none of you think going to her room and knocking on her door is a good idea? That's the kiss of death right there. No matter what you do, never go knocking on her door until you're officially dating or picking her up for a date. I forgot to mention that when I left her Sunday night (which was actually Monday morning) she said, "you have my number and know where I live". So it sounds like she's actually inviting me to go straight to her room to contact her. You called and left a message. I would have called 2 days after and had she not answered, not left a message. Sheesh, leave her some mystery
JCD Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 She did not have the guts to tell you that she doesn't like you so she played this game to get rid of you, imo. Or she wanted to have a one night stand with you and that's it.
gfto Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 I called her today and she said she sent a text message when she got my voicemail--however I have that feature disabled on my phone so I never got it. She said she'd call me back and she sounded like she meant it. Did you ask her for a date?
Author DuRaS27 Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 Did you ask her for a date? No, I was stupid and didn't think of something to ask her. I really should have though--because she may be afraid to call ME. It's happened to me before where girls have been afraid to call me. I doubt that's the case.
Porn_Guy Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 she was just looking for a ONS and casual sex. she doesn't want anything further. Don't contact her again.
bella_girl Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 DuRaS27 I completely disagree with these guys - if I was with friends and someone called I'd wait until I could speak to them properly alone... also my friends would rib the hell out of me if I was talking to someone I liked (plus I like to give the people I'm with my attention rather than talk on the phone). I'd wait and see but I would also be extremely cheeky - why not (if you don't hear from her in a couple days) take a tennis ball up to her room and give it to her and say "I believe this is in your court currently". That would be quite amusing and hell what have you got to loose! To me the whole 'What's the catch' translates to 'I've been burnt before and you seem a little too good to be true.' So she will be looking for signs that you will: walk away, cheat, be a player, or have a major flaw... if you don't then you need to keep reassuring her of this so that she trusts you.
gfto Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 No, I was stupid and didn't think of something to ask her. I really should have though--because she may be afraid to call ME. It's happened to me before where girls have been afraid to call me. I doubt that's the case. In the future, when you call a girl, ask her for a date (a SPECIFIC time and place), then get off the phone; no chit-chat. But, in this particular case, it's moot. This girl was just toying with you. Move on.
Author DuRaS27 Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 Eh, she never called back. I don't think she was toying with me. I think she just wanted sex that night and thought I was a really good guy, but she's not intrested in that--she's interested in good sex. I probably should have had sex with her, but oh well.
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