aloewenthal Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 I am currently a 17 year old and am in a long distance relationship with a 22 year old. I go to a community college at the moment, and he goes to a college 2 hours away. I get to see him when he is home for breaks or when i go there on weekends to visit him, and when he is home he lives 5 minutes away from me. So it's long distance but its not too bad. He is not a bad guy, and we don't really have any major problems to deal with, but we argue frequently. I get upset because while we are far away from one another for a large part of the year, i hardly talk to him on top of it. He rarely calls me or talks to me when I am online, and sometimes he doesn't even reply to my text messages. And I don't think that the reason for this is that I suffocate him at all, because i probably call him around 1-3 times a week. The last time he was home for winter break, he was back for 3 weeks, and only came to see me about 4 times. Anytime that i asked him if he wanted to do something he was usually doing something with his friends. So, I was feeling that if things were going this way then the relationship wasn't going to work, and i broke up with him. We argued over my reasons and eventually he said he would try harder, but it doesn't seem like he is. And then the little things that are stupid start to bother me because the foundation isnt strong enough. Like just recently he changed His Facebook (its like a myspace) relationship status to that he was Looking For "Whatever I can Get", and wont say that he is in a relationship with me because I am only 17 and he doesn't want him parents to know yet, well thats what he says. I am just really confused about the entire thing, and any input would be nice.
ShoeGirl Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 I don't want to sound rude but... from what you are saying it sounds like he doesn't really want to be with you. I can't really figure out why he said he would try harder and get back together when he goes and hides you from everyone. If I were you I wouldn't put up with this. What is keeping you with him? Wanting to talk to him 1-3 times a week is not too much to ask, and text messages between those times should be expected. If I were you I would tell him that you haven't seen changes since your conversation about him trying harder and see what he says. The whole facebook thing sounds to me like BS, the only way his parents could see it is if his parents are also on facebook and are one of this friends... and I don't know anybodies parents are on facebook... maybe myspace but not facebook. How long have you two been together? How was your relationship before it became long distance, or have you two always been long distance?
Guest Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 well its kind of complicated.. coz ive pretty much been seeing him for a year and a half now. since june 05. and for awhile it wasnt anything serious , i was younger (i know im still young but ive learned a lot about myself and other people since then) and then in may 06 i ended things with him completely for someone else. he was all heartbroken for about a month and was calling me all of the time and initiating everything, and i ended up getting back with him again. and things were really good until about a month or two of him being back at school. his brother and sister are on facebook but i dont think that should matter anyways. i dont know if theres any way that i could make things better? or if its just a waste of time to try and fix anything? and dont refrain from saying anything, i probably need to hear some stuff that i dont want to!
ShoeGirl Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 I'm sure that you have had some great times with him in the last year and a half, but think about what your reasons are for wanting to stay with him? Is it really worth your time and energy to keep a long distance relationship going when he hides you from everyone and doesn't try very hard to keep you around. I am guessing that you haven't met any of his family, what about his friends? Have you asked him why he rarely talks to you or why he doesn't respond to your texts? Does he act differently when you visit him at school versus when he visits you when he is home?
Guest Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 That's whats confusing, he doesn't hide me from his friends. When i go and see him he's all over me in front of everyone just as much as he'd normally be. And his excuse for not responding to the texts is that he figures he'll just answer my question or talk about it later. I probably just need to think about it some more and maybe even write down a list to compare the good with the bad, just so I can be sure I'm not focusing on just one.
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