Woggle Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 So she needed the internet to figure out that she was being abused? I say just get out and cut your losses. Even if she does take you back she will continue to drive you up the wall.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Well, last night she informed me that based on what she read on the Internet, I "emotionally abused" her and thats why she left the first time. Not in the over three years we dated. And not since. Just the three months before she packed up and took off in the middle of the night. I don't know how much more of this I can stand. texwill, I can't possibly know all the nuances of your relationship, but "abuse" seems like a strong term. You don't feel that you changed in any way, yet she didn't feel this way when dating? If you weren't meeting her emotional needs, that should have been discussed. She chose to bolt and run. I think packing up and taking off without attempting to resolve the conflict is more abusive emotionally. Dirty dancing and sleeping with another man in short order is more emotionally abusive. Telling you all about it to hurt you is more abusive. That's just my opinion. Don't take any more.
Starman Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Well, last night she informed me that based on what she read on the Internet, I "emotionally abused" her and thats why she left the first time. Not in the over three years we dated. And not since. Just the three months before she packed up and took off in the middle of the night. I don't know how much more of this I can stand. And what she did to you wasn't a crime of the heart? I'm sorry to hear this but if I was in your shoes I'd have filed for divorce the moment she cheated. Before that she would have been on thin ice for me moving out like she did. She is immature and trying to control you and this is how she is doing it, making you feel bad for her behavior. You are the same person, she is the problem. Time to cut your losses now or you will never be able to heal your heart. Divorce this psycho and move on. Hard to hear I know but it is what is best for YOU in the long run and that is the person you should be worried about, YOU!
Madeamistake Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 My advice to you Tex, is to just get an attorney and file. This girl has NO CLUE what love is all about. All the crap she's put you through has most likely been because she thinks Infatuation and Love are the same thing. They aren't. She seems to be ramping up the drama whenever you two get comfortable together. Every time she does that, she's getting a big ole' chemical rush similar to the physiological reaction of "Infatuation". She's also feeding her own ego by proving that she's important enough that you'll turn yourself inside-out again to keep her with you. Unfortunately, some people never reach emotional maturity. I agree with ladyjane completely! Drop her like a hot potato. She is totally screwed mentally and emotionally.. You see, she is probably the type that wake up when its too late. When they have dug themselves so deep into a hole and can never get out. Such holes are usually terminal illness related like HIV/Aids... You dont want to loose yourself and your life over such crap. Its unfortunate that it happened to you but take it as a blessing in disguise, at least you dont have kids with this woman nor years close to a lifetime invested in your marriage. Goodluck!
Sup Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Well, last night she informed me that based on what she read on the Internet, I "emotionally abused" her and thats why she left the first time. Not in the over three years we dated. And not since. Just the three months before she packed up and took off in the middle of the night. I don't know how much more of this I can stand. Can you say "BULLCRAP!"? She's blaming you for HER affair, typical.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 People who cheat/affairs will do nearly anything to disown the belief they are flawed or bad. What really sucks is they make everyone close to them believe you are the bad person too. I've seen it over and over where the cheater will go so far as to literally make up things to justify their behaviour. Cheers!
IslandGirl73 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 here's a different perspective on your plight: I am the MW who was on the verge of being with OM....i honestly wanted to keep it just strictly spending time with each other w/out any intimate contact....had he not called it off abruptly, not sure now if I would've kept it that way... that being said, i have confessed my feelings and my evening spent with OM to dear hubby and he feels like u do, doesn't want to let me go and is willing to keep trying despite my lack of marital love for him. he says that i've made him a better person and that he needs me, so on and so forth...and i ask him, "u still want this even though i can't return the same feelings in return?" his answer to me was "yes, because i love u" anyone hearing that would be quick to judge and critisize cuz on the surface, it does seem foolish for a man to be willing to tolerate his wife's feelings of indifference towards him the way i am with mine. but like i've mentioned before, there's just somethings in life u can't control, and thats the emotions and feelings of the heart. and though on the surface, it would seem totally assanine and foolish of u to continue on with her or with someone like me who has displayed selfish acts towards dear hubby and wanting to be with the OM, still, the heart knows no limit to how much its willing to give before it finally gives up. so though as an outsider looking in, i can see your wife, as well as myself, as being completely unfair and unreasonable with our actions, or lack of actions towards u(and my DH) i can relate to your willingness to fight for the one u love because thats what your heart truly wants and my DH is doing the same exact thing as u are, despite everything i've said and done.... don't let the judgemental words of others overcrowd your thinking on this matter....u have every right to consider giving your marriage and wife another shot if thats what your heart truly wants. that being said, if u do, the line DOES have to drawn somewhere and u have to make it clear to her that she cannot continue to make a fool of you forever...good luck.
Author texwill Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 Update: I filed for divorce a few days ago. She refused to stop lying to me and I have learned that I will probably never, ever be able to trust her. She has since tried to get me in trouble with my job and mutual friends by telling more half-truths or outright lies as to garner sympathy and/or further hurt me... Thanks again for the time all of you invested in reading and respondng.
Mr. Lucky Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 Sounds like the best course. Keep your head up... Mr. Lucky
Sevenmack Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Thank heavens Texwill. She needs to go. And you need to form a companionship with someone who will treat you with respect and, more importantly, love you.
ridingthebulls Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Shouldn't she be a little more mature by 27 than get dick=***ing dances in a club when she's married?
Salicious Crumb Posted March 3, 2007 Posted March 3, 2007 Here is the perfect song for your situation the next time she decides to leave and begs to come back....this would be you singing to your "wife". http://www.amazon.com/gp/music/wma-pop-up/B000002LPA001004/ref=mu_sam_wma_001_004/102-7617335-3139358
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