Mz. Pixie Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 The forum has been depressing me so much lately. It seems like there are so many more men coming to this forum than women- because they have been cheated on by their wives!!! I know we've had discussions before about how infidelity is different than it used to be years ago as far as the division between women cheating and men cheating. Every day that I come here, however, there are a couple of new posts by a betrayed husband. I come here to help people but sometimes it's so hard.......... I'm glad the people come here, and I cannot stop trying to help I know, but sometimes I feel like giving up.
magichands Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I'm glad the people come here, and I cannot stop trying to help I know, but sometimes I feel like giving up. Do you feel taken for granted? I can't really begin to understand what you're going through, but there is a lot of love and compassion on this board. Emotionally spent? Maybe you need to take some time out, but I hope not. Keep up the good work. Have you ever seen the LoveShack bunny take a break?!
Hard2Think Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Noononononoo .. you need to stay! You've been a huge help to me. The best part of a this board is being able to speak to someone like you who can offer first person perspective and advice based on life experience.
magichands Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Noononononoo .. you need to stay! See? It is just you.
ThumbingMyWay Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 The forum has been depressing me so much lately. It seems like there are so many more men coming to this forum than women- because they have been cheated on by their wives!!! I know we've had discussions before about how infidelity is different than it used to be years ago as far as the division between women cheating and men cheating. Every day that I come here, however, there are a couple of new posts by a betrayed husband. I come here to help people but sometimes it's so hard.......... I'm glad the people come here, and I cannot stop trying to help I know, but sometimes I feel like giving up. I know what you mean....its hard to read all of this still..... I know that in my situ and circle of friends.....its been the wifes that have cheated.... I still dont get it.....2 young kids....married less than 10 years....and the wives have cheated.....sad.... I try not to get invovled here as much either....I know exactly what the men are going thru...and it sux to be there.....
bklk1227 Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Aww... don't give up! As one of those guys currently going through this tough situation, these forums have been a great resource to validate feelings and see what works and doesn't work. I know that because of people like you and others who have either been in my spot or on the other end, I have been able to take a calculated and well thought approach to this situation(most of the time:rolleyes: ). I think it is great that people come on here and do open up. Infidelity is a problem that some married people outright ignore or totally mishandle in terms of what it really means to the relationship. My situation could have been a lot uglier if it were not for some of the posts on this forum. And I could've been a lot harder on myself if I allowed the many justifications for the affair to impair my judgement. Thanks again to everyone!
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 MzP, maybe you need to venture out into the other more fun sections of LS...
magichands Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 MzP, maybe you need to venture out into the other more fun sections of LS... Great idea. I like Personal Rants and Confessions.
MySugaree Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 LS can be a Tower of Babel of human misery. A steady diet of porn-obsessed mates, infidelity, sexual dysfunction, loneliness and sheer desperation is hazardous to emotional health. My Rx: Move away from the keyboard and immerse yourself in the living, wonderful non-virtual world of 3D. Most of us need vacations from this steady torrent of human misery. Go away!
magichands Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 My Rx: Move away from the keyboard and immerse yourself in the living, wonderful non-virtual world of 3D. Where have you been??!! Virtual went 3D months ago.
Mythical Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Hey Mz. Pixie, I actually posted a thread similar to this awhile ago and i agree. It actually has been really bugging me lately im only 20 and the hole thaught of everyonebeing so unhappy and ruining my ambition and goal to have what I truely want when I get older It scares me....and well im just not in a good mood today....
MySugaree Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 This will sound paternalistic, but, hey, wtf. Young folks who frequent these boards can get a very distorted view of adult behavior and well-being. If you live long enough, crap happens. The trick is getting through the dark times. Sometimes LS helps folks weather the storm; other times, LS can worsen the storm. If someone is young, healthy and well-adjusted, I recommend against loitering, here. Live your life offline where all your potential and possibilities loom. When you're older and battle-scarred by whatever life has shown you, perhaps then return. Or, perhaps not. Pixie, my dear, take a break from here. I guarantee you'll feel better about yourself, and life. It worked for me.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I'm new to LS, but I have noticed that infidelity seems to be rampant. I admit that I avoid those threads. I am not in a place where I feel I could be helpful because my opinions would be too biased unless someone is looking for validation that it is just a horribly mean and wrong thing to do/happen to you. I am actually surprised at how many people cheat and are involved with married partners. I really don't "get it." I only looked at this post because I was surprised to see you as the OP. The number of threads on cheating is depressing. But...those who have been cheated on really need somewhere to talk with others who can identify with all the feelings that must happen when betrayed in such a way. I'm glad they have somewhere to vent and get advice. Me, I like to hang out in the less stressful areas, like the water cooler. I like personal rants and confessions too. I will read posts and give my opinion on a variety of other threads, like coping with break ups. I'm fortunate to be in a pretty good place relationship-wise but I like the personalities and enjoy hearing other peoples takes on situations. It makes me think. I hope you don't leave, but I would understand that a break might be necessary at some time. Now, I'm too addicted to even consider that a possibility for me.
Sand&Water Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Reply: Yes. It is depressing. The rattling ground beneath your feet, causing imbalanced emotions is only the beginning. In hindsight, an emerging earthquake is not far off. Every day that I come here, however, there are a couple of new posts by a betrayed husband. And, wives as well. Although, yes, the number of betrayed husbands has increased over the last decade. Women are starting to realize there is another world out there. Slowly growing out of their shells, and stepping foot into the vast land of freedoms and epiphanies. The OM/OW, and infidelity forums will sadly and gradually populate over the next couple of years. No doubt about that. Sand&Water
magichands Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 The rattling ground beneath your feet, causing imbalanced emotions is only the beginning. In hindsight, an emerging earthquake is not far off. I suppose you believe in global warming, too. The admirable side of humanity isn't going anywhere just yet. I'm predicting a comeback.
syz Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Hey Ms. Pixie I just gotta tell you that you have actually helped me some. You gave me hope that maybe one day my ex would wake up out of her fog and realize that she messed up and lost a good friend. At the very least she might feel the guilt and after all the sorrow, anguish and trying I did to save us...I can live with that. I know in your situation you tried everything you could think of and your husband refused to change.. in my situation I went through a depression for 8 months and when I came out of it the EA was already in bloom... I tried so hard but it was too late. anyway thanks for helping. If anything forums like this give me hope that it is about 50/50 that I can find someone as loyal as I am. I see how hard these men and women try and that is really something. Infidelity is depressing as sh*t
NEWDAY Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Mz. Pixie, you are a voice of reason and someone with a good deal of personal experience to share. Sadly, the world is changing and not for the better. 51% of American women choose to live their lives without men. That is not to say without sex, thus you will see more women living lives of sexual freedom that men have enjoyed for years. Wives, perhaps seeing what they are missing out on, feel the grass is greener for these ladies, and step outside to see what it's all about. Years ago the majority of cheaters were men, but now, so many women have single or divorced friends playing the field, the women who stay home and live quiet and faithful lives, feel unfulfilled, unappreciated and frequently bored to tears. I don't blame you for getting the blues over the human condition, but folks still need a shoulder to cry on and the good common sense you can offer.
Woggle Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 It doesn't suprise me. Men are just starting to wake up the true nature of the female gender. These women also think they are 100% justified because in their eyes they are getting back at the patriarchy. If men really knew how much women hated us they would never trust one again. One good thing about having an abusive mother is that it woke me up to the true nature of women.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 It doesn't suprise me. Men are just starting to wake up the true nature of the female gender. These women also think they are 100% justified because in their eyes they are getting back at the patriarchy. If men really knew how much women hated us they would never trust one again. One good thing about having an abusive mother is that it woke me up to the true nature of women. Gee Woggle, I'm sorry your mother was a real piece of work, but we aren't ALL that bad. Some of us are even good mothers. In all honesty, more women cheat nowadays because they are more able to leave marriages due to being more educated and financially independent. They no longer NEED a man to support them as most did in the 50's and even the 60's. I'm not saying that cheating is acceptable, but this is certainly why divorce is more prevalent. Not all women hate men. I happen to love men.
Woggle Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Gee Woggle, I'm sorry your mother was a real piece of work, but we aren't ALL that bad. Some of us are even good mothers. In all honesty, more women cheat nowadays because they are more able to leave marriages due to being more educated and financially independent. They no longer NEED a man to support them as most did in the 50's and even the 60's. I'm not saying that cheating is acceptable, but this is certainly why divorce is more prevalent. Not all women hate men. I happen to love men. So basically after all the bad things women accuse us of in the end women really are no better than we are? I wish women would stop claiming the moral high ground then.
RecordProducer Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Will somebody explain to me what this thread is all about?
tweldy Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Ms. Pixie - I often feel like your posts are a part of some self imposed penance for you past, conscious or otherwise. It is just a feelig I get, not an accusation. If you've had a traumatic experience in your life, reading a story that reminds you of it is much more painful than it would be to someone else. While your advise is always sage and comes with wisdom earned through a path paved with pain, perhaps you have given enough for a while. Many have suggested you take a break, and I think this is wise. Perhaps in a month or two you'll feel much better and ready to take this board on again. I wish you the best.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 So basically after all the bad things women accuse us of in the end women really are no better than we are? I wish women would stop claiming the moral high ground then. I'm not trying to pick on you, but that is so general to ALL women. If you said some women accuse men of bad things, and some women are no better than men, and some need to stop claiming the moral high ground, I would wholeheartedly agree with you. Just as I did on the bitchy women thread, and like I did on the strip club bachelor party thread (just to name two.) I just wish you could see that we aren't all cheaters and evil man hating beings! RecordProducer this thread is about Mz Pixie noticing that lately more and more men are posting about being cheated on and how she finds that depressing. Depressing that cheating has become so rampant (in a nutshell, anyway.) Some people suggested taking a loveshack break and some are saying "please don't go." As usual, some posts get off topic a bit.
RecordProducer Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 I think we all got stressed out with this thread about sexual abuse. RecordProducer this thread is about Mz Pixie noticing that lately more and more men are posting about being cheated on and how she finds that depressing. Depressing that cheating has become so rampant (in a nutshell, anyway.) Some people suggested taking a loveshack break and some are saying "please don't go." As usual, some posts get off topic a bit. Haha! That I read, but I still don't understand what exactly upsets her baout it. Why do we care about men who cheat. Mz. Pixie is happily married, right?
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