honki25 Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Hi everyone, I'm Lesley (27) from Wales. I've never had to use a chat forum before so this is new to me. I guess I'm here to talk about last night. I made the biggest decision of my life and that was to walk away from an unfixable situation. I talked over an ongoing issues and because he didn't want to listen, I left!!! I've never done this before, it's normally him who leaves. But this time, it was my decision and I'm starting to question whether what I did was right. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. In fact, it was our anniversary last week but instead of celebrating, problems got in the way and we ended up arguing AGAIN. We've always argued. But I'd been told it's normal to argue from time to time, right? But this is a daily activity now and it's wearing me down. I've tried to talk things through but he doesn't seems to listen - to the point where I have to shout to be heard. I hate the person I've become and I don't want to live like this anymore. It's affecting my health!!! We have so many problems and I just can't see an end to them all. It's a mammouth task and I don't know if I have the energy any longer. I'm not one for quitting but at what point do you say, I'm sorry I can't take this anymore? I've said it a million times but never acting on it. Is this the right time? I've talked to my family and friends but they hate him. Everytime I talk to them, they encourage me to leave him. I feel that anything I say is only bad and they've formed this opinion of him. Have I created this problem by being too honest or is the inevitable just around the corner? I'd really like to speak to someone neutral about what I've been through so maybe you can help me make the right decision for ME!!! Thank you for reading this - I await your replies
corny1 Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 The one thing you need to ask yourself is; is this guy worth my time and effort, or am I better off using my time to find someone that I can build a healthy relationship with. Weigh your options for the future and then do what you think is best for you. Good luck.
Author honki25 Posted January 16, 2007 Author Posted January 16, 2007 I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. He's offered me the opportunity to live in Spain which would be amazing given my currently circumstances. However, things get promised to me and they never happen. It's as though he's trying to buy me back with false promises. "I promise I'll change", "I promise things will be better", "It's just the situation we're in right now - things will change". The problem is it doesn't matter how hard I try, things don't change. Maybe for a short time and things are nice for a few days but then it's back to normal again. I don't know where I was heading with that statement but I think it says it all, really.... Thank you for you advise
Darkwall Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I know exactly what you're going through. I gave my ex the option to prove our relationship was worth sticking around for. To make an effort. He didn't. I have spent the last year at the doctors office for flu's, colds, etc. He was making me soo ill. It takes two to make it work and if you are the only one working it is extremely frustrating. You did the right thing. I think you just need to back away from him at least for awhile to breath and get some sleep. I've recommened a few other people on LS today to read "Men are from mars and women are from Venus". Two books.. the other is "starting over". Great tips and suggestions for getting you through this. It is helping me A LOT!
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