lilmems81 Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 hey guys, i would sure appreciate some advice, to make a long story short i been dating this girl for about 2 months now. we have gone out on 6 dates. i like this girl and i see her more than just friends. to make things obvious 3 weeks ago i took her lunch to her work as a suprise and she liked it. today she was really sick, so i decided to make some chicken soup and i brought some for her. she was really happy and told me that i was sweet. we do have a good connection but the only thing really buggin me is she sent me an email thankin me for stopping by. " im glad to have you as my friend". i honestly see that as a negative thing. im doing a lot of things that i really wouldnt do to a girl. i feel like we are both into each other and she tells me all the positive things. im ready to let her know how i feel and maybe im kinda paranoid about it. could it be she juss sees me as friends or maybe she is waiting for me to make a move. she is really shy and timid and i know for sure she wouldnt express to me how she feels so im doubtful. i need to let out how i feel for her and let her know how i feel. i really dont think im killing her with kidness cuz thats the way i am and she knows it. im juss being myself and its something that she admires. the only way i think im gonna find out what she thinks is if i tell her how i feel. this wut comes to my mind, friends dont talk everyday thru emails and call each other every other day. thats wut we do but i could be wrong. i would appreciate the advice, its going in circles for me. thank you.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I think it be best you don't tell her how you feel. You have only gone on 6 dates after all... You could lose her if you open up your feelings so soon to her... I think you should take it a step at a time and not rush the relationship with her. She may have said you are a good friend because she is not ready to commit to you by saying you are a good lover or a good boyfriend as I think some girls saying those feel like a bigger commitment with one another.
TheDC Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Well I'll have to politely disagree with BES. Six dates is enough to move to the next level. I agree that you shouldn't tell her how you feel, you need to show her. You're going to have to kiss her. The next time you are together on a date when the opportunity presents itself just tell her that you are going to kiss her and then do it. DON'T ask her if you can kiss her she may refuse just tell her that you are going to do it and do it. You'll need to pick your location well also. Don't do it at the bus stop or at a club, remember this is your first kiss so it should be somewhere both of you are comfortable, like your place or hers. Until then you are still in the friend zone. Now if you crash and burn cause she pulls away or says don't then you need to act cool. Just say something like "too soon?" And remember not all is lost, you are still in the game (unless she runs screaming for the door). At the very least she'll know that you want to be more than friends and one way or the other you'll know if does as well.
Baffled Tiger Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 Maybe you guys are both incompetent, but I suspect she's just not into you. Even very shy girls I've been with have made it abudantly clear what they want, whichever it was, far sooner than this. If she's not very warm to you with her body language you're basically screwed. (e.g. putting her hand on your leg, smiling or flirty eyes are not nearly as reliable)
gfto Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 she sent me an email thankin me for stopping by. " im glad to have you as my friend". That says it all. You're in the friends zone. There is no escape from the friends zone. Move on to greener pastures.
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