justconfused28 Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I'm in a relationship with my gf (both 28) for over a year now. Its long distance and I've stated late last year that in 2007 I'll move to her after my lease was up (May). However, in the last 2 weeks a job opportunity appeared that would be ideal for me turned up near her. She was gung-ho about it, I was lukewarm. I was preparing for something in the summer..... after a couple days I warmed to the idea and decided to get an interview. Over the weekend I found out the job would start soon (within the next month), which was even quicker than I imagined, but it wasnt as scary as I thought it would have been. Anyway, she starts talking about me moving there for the few months I still had the old lease.... which actually sounded like a fun idea. But then she got started talking about maybe just living together permanently and not get my own apartment in June (as I was thinking). I sorta agreed that'd be fun, and I think I meant it at the time, but now that I'm away from her I was starting to have doubts. Doubts were mostly of the little details type: how would we move all our stuff in their, would there be enough space for us to live and not be too close quarters, etc. I feared that going from LDR to move in might be too quick a transition for me. That was all flying in my head until I accidentally let it slip out today that I looked at apartments online for myself (and some for us too but she didnt get a chance to hear that) Well that got her upset (understandably so), and now she is doesnt trust when I say anything about the future cause I seem to take it back later. In actuality, when I'm with her everything is usually great. When we do talk about the future (mostly her bringing it up), it feels right and good. But I get these doubts that creep up when I'm away from her and I dont know if its insecurities in me, the speed of our relationship, or maybe we werent meant for each other. Its hard for me to swallow the last one, I know I've had thoughts of the future but I wonder if I'm just another "cant committment" or just fear change. After 1 year, dont you think this moving thing would be easier for me to do? I feel awful for causing doubt it in her and I'm scarred my hesitance and my doubts might kill off this relationship. She is already leery of my words after I almost sabotaged the relationship in August by doubting my true feelings for her. Thankfully I was able to cut through the BS and realize I was just panicing over the seriousness of the relationship. I have NO doubts I love her. Should I just stop overthinking? Insecurities have always been a problem.... hence why this is my 1st relationship ever (not hers). I need to cut through this new BS if I want to save this thing. And I really dont want to lose her. Anyone actually get to the bottom of this post?
Recommended Posts