dgiirl Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I've been single for nearly 2 years now. This valentines day will mark my 2nd anniversary of d-bomb and although there's been a few guys interested in me, I've had absolutely no real interest, no spark, no butterflies with anyone. I'm starting to think I'm defective.
Art_Critic Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 It depends on the timeframe of my life.. 20's - 2.5 years.. I was working a bunch of hours and women wwere not on my high list 30's- 1 year maybe a little over beginning 40's- 8 months or so...and middle 40's in the last year or 2 so I have maintained about 2 months as the dry spell..
IpAncA Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 My longest was about 5 years. That went from later part of high school all the way through college. My focus was pursuing my education and my career. Didn't have time for distractions. No offense.
princessa Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Heh, I'm going on 3 months (approx... not even sure) and I think I'm gonna die. Sucks to have the hormones of a perverted teenage dude.
blind_otter Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 It depends on the timeframe of my life.. 20's - 2.5 years.. I was working a bunch of hours and women wwere not on my high list 30's- 1 year maybe a little over beginning 40's- 8 months or so...and middle 40's in the last year or 2 so I have maintained about 2 months as the dry spell.. HAH! I have a theory that there is no such thing as a sexual peak for men at age 18. I think it's much later in life. Once again, Art supports my theory that older men are fine and do-able. Anyways, my longest dry spell was 6 weeks.
amaysngrace Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 When you say d bomb do you mean divorce? Or something else?
magichands Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I'm starting to think I'm defective. There's nothing defective about you. Although you do make people want to grab you, and submit you to rigorous quality testing. I bet they particularly want to search around for secret buttons, and stuff.
magichands Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 When you say d bomb do you mean divorce? I've been called that before. I had no idea what they meant, but you got me thinking. It's probably true that I've broken up my share of marriages.
Guest Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Heh, I'm going on 3 months (approx... not even sure) and I think I'm gonna die. Sucks to have the hormones of a perverted teenage dude. Same here, 3 months, and I think I'm gonna die too! I can't imagine going like a year, I could easily find a meaningless one night stand by then...but I'd like to think the next guy will be somebody I'm dating... but yea, dying here. I actually get scared that I'll never have sex again cuz I can't find a guy that wants to commit. And I"m 30 yrs old for gosh sake, how come all my friends could find a man to marry them and I can't!....that's a whole other forum I guess!
Guest Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I've been single for nearly 2 years now. This valentines day will mark my 2nd anniversary of d-bomb and although there's been a few guys interested in me, I've had absolutely no real interest, no spark, no butterflies with anyone. I'm starting to think I'm defective. honey this will be my 10th lonely valentines day in a row, as was XMAS and New year's. Hows that for feeling defective, well more like pathetic and desperate.
crazy_grl Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 By "dry spell" do you mean just sex or actual relationship? I've never considered lack of sex to be a dry spell, because that implies it's involuntary. I've never had a dry spell if we're talking just sex. I could get that practically any time I wanted (Not trying to brag, just stating a fact. Most females can say the same.). If we're talking actual relationship, then it's somewhere between 2-3 years now (I don't really keep track), but for part of that time, I didn't really want a relationship either.
magichands Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I could get that practically any time I wanted I'm raising the threat level to orange. Maybe even burnt orange.
crazy_grl Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 I'm raising the threat level to orange. Maybe even burnt orange. eh?
Author dgiirl Posted January 15, 2007 Author Posted January 15, 2007 When you say d bomb do you mean divorce? Or something else? yah, d-bomb is the day the word "divorce" is uttered, but in my case, my ex left the very next day marking my separation date. By "dry spell" do you mean just sex or actual relationship? In my case, both? I'm mainly concerned with how long people have been single, not in any type of relationship. I've only gone on one first date in 2 years. I've had a few guys interested in getting to know me more, but I just havent felt anything towards anyone.
kitten chick Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 It was a year and a half for me on the relationship end, almost a year on the sex end and I regret the non-relationship sex more than I can even express here. I don't think great relationships and great matches just fall off of trees. I think the deeper a person you are the less likely you are to have consistently quick rebounds into new, good relationships. You're getting over a divorce, don't be so hard on yourself, you're definitely not defective, please don't feel that way.
Craig Posted January 15, 2007 Posted January 15, 2007 Two and one half years following my first heartbreak. I doubt that you are defective but I could believe that you are healing from the D experience and getting better too by the way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When you harbour happiness, bitterness will dock somewhere else.
orangehose Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 Hmm, longest dry spell = eleven years (if you count from the onset of adolescence to my first relationship). Hopefully the next dry spell won't be as long! Ugh.
CaliGuy Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 The longest is right now. A year. It's cool though because I'm not running around trying to fill up my lack of a relationship with cheap sex nor am I dating someone just to be dating. I don't have a fear of being alone or single, I just don't want to settle. It took most of the last year to get my head screwed back on straight and now that I'm sure I've accomplished that I'm taking my time to get back in the game. I'm finally at the point of being ready to date and being of sound mind and body. I'm completely content and happy with my life, how things are and where I'm headed. I don't worry about the future or spend any more time dwelling on the past.
coaster1026 Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I got everyone beat, no real relationship in 10 yrs. I had a brief term "boyfriend" for a couple months in 2003. I don't know who was president last time I was taken out on a actual date. But sex, 3 months ago, but I go months at a time without any affection what so ever. Since last relationship it's all been jerks, weirdos, winos, losers, liars, the list goes on and on. I don't even remember what it's like to love someone who loves you back and vice versa. I'm 30 and female and want kids and I'm in panic mode cuz i don't even have a date much less a boyfriend thanks for listening!
magichands Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I had a brief term "boyfriend" for a couple months in 2003. 2003 was a great year for me, too. All downhill from there. Since last relationship it's all been jerks, Same here. I've been learning to love myself. weirdos, winos, losers, liars, the list goes on and on. Generally one starts at the bottom, and works their way up. No biggie. and I'm in panic mode cuz i don't even have a date much less a boyfriend We can panic together. One, two, three... PANIC!!!! Hey, that was fun.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 About four months is probably the longest I have been in a dry spell in my adult life. That's nothing to be proud of because I often settled for bad matches just to be in a relationship. I don't overlap, but I am a serial monogamist and tend to rush into relationships in order to achieve sex of some kind. (You know what they say, even your worst f*** was pretty good.) They rarely worked out for more than a few months, but I had the mind frame that any man was better than none for a long time. Probably still do if my BF were to break up with me, but I'm trying to learn to love myself more than that. Today I think I do, but tomorrow could be different.
orangehose Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 The variation in 'dry spells' is pretty interesting... I wonder especially about the differences between people who've spent most of their adult life in a relationship, versus those who haven't. Of course, it's a chicken-and-egg issue - you don't know if personality differences lead to different relationship patterns or vice versa. Anyway, I had my first relationship at age 23, which led to its own sorts of difficulties - one of which was that since I was so used to being alone, I was perhaps less likely to 'put up' with relationship problems and more willing to jump ship and go back to being alone. Of course, it probably works more often the other way - people who've been alone a long time could get more desperate.
Capatinacen Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 A few months was my longest. Not that bad.
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